- 8 years ago
- Wedding: April 2010
Okay, this is my first post, but I just have to vent. When does it get to be your day?
I have changed my wedding around 3 times to accomadate our families. Okay, mistake number one. They all seemed to want us to have a traditional chuch wedding. This is a second wedding for both of us however, I did not have one the first time and his was well….. sort of tacky. Okay, a lot tacky (caterer was in a smock, stretch pants and scuffie slippers – and her bouquet lit up).
One of the major reasons I did not have a wedding the first time was for family issues. Parents were bitterly divorced and my ex was in no way going for the chuch wedding. We also had “timing issues”. Let’s just say our son attended our wedding in utero. I knew my wedding then would just be all about what everyone else was comfortable with and I just did not want to hear about it. But I did feel cheated. As much as I denied it, I felt like I missed my day.
Well, as you can tell, what started off with the best of intentions ended in divorce 17 years later. I met the perfect man and we are very happy and looking for to the wedding.
Now my problem. No one seems enthusiastic about the wedding now! No help with invitations, favors, anything. My FMI has her own issues (loves me, but has not seen her grandchildren in almost 20yrs) and is making it all about that. My family has me doing everything (my sister shipped me her and her daughters dresses to iron them). Again with the sister, she sent me 12 (yes 12) emials about the bridesmaids jewelry, I have bourght every piece of clothing (including underwear) for the flower girl and ring bearer, booked hotel rooms and accommadated for everyone and everything. When do I start feeling like the bride and not the event/travel coordinator?
I just don’t feel very special at my own wedding. No showers, no lunches, no bachelorette party nothing! And on top of it they seem to be rubbing my nose in it. I understand that this is a second wedding buy, should I really have to pull teeth to get my parents and his to meet for lunch before the wedding? Should I have to worry about buying pantyhose for everyone and nobody takes care of me? Am I under some TV/Movie delusion that I am supposed to feel special that day?
I know that weddings bring up a lot of issues that have nothing to do with weddings at all. Old baggage you thought was long buried. But it doesn’t make you feel special when you have to ask to be special. Also what makes it worse, is that my family goes out of their way to make my fiancee feel special. My children (who are grown) bought him a very nice gift (he is an avid comic book geek and they bought him a first issue). My brothers and father have a nice evening planned for him. Me? ZIP!
So this is my BOO HOO! Yes, my fiancee’ does make me feel special, and although it would be a BAD idea, I would love him to give them a talking to. I just am feeling very resentful right now and I don’t understand why? When is it my turn.