Post # 1
Not sure if I’m here for advice or just to vent but I’m not 100% sure on how I’m feeling right now.
Our engagement party was a few weekends ago and it was a big hit-had lots of fun! Saw people that I haven’t seen in year and thoroughly enjoyed myself.
The party was only a couple of hours but towards the end of the party, my mom’s boyfriend proposed to her.
I was so shocked. I didn’t see it coming, and especially not at my engagement party. Right after it happened I really wasn’t over the moon happy for her because I was still in such shock!
She kept asking me if I liked her ring and etc and I put on a fake smile and kept saying “yes” because I didn’t want to seem like a total brat, but now I’m thinking was I really a brat? Like of ALL days, he had to propose to her during my engagement party?!
Post # 2
Honestly, I would’ve probably been a tad on the taken aback side. I think that day was meant for you and your FH – not your mom and her boyfriend. I think its ok to have done what you did for what its worth. Kudos to you for putting on a smile. A brat? No. But be thankful it wasn’t at your wedding.
Post # 3
I think your mother’s Fiance was clueless and insensitive and that without your permission it was beyond inappropriate. But it’s a done deal now, so not much you can do about it.
Just think, it could have been at your wedding.
Post # 4
Post # 5
jazandlo : An odd choice on the BF’s part, to be sure. I hope he’s just clueless and your mom didn’t know he planned to propose at your party.
Post # 6
You don’t sound like a brat to me. No need to tell your mom or her bf how you feel, but I totally understand. Like really? He couldn’t have at least waited until the next day?
Post # 7
I’m gonna assume her SO figured it was a good plan because a lot of her family and friends would happen to be there to witness the moment without having to arrange something on his own?
Post # 8
He should not have done that, but I don’t think many men would think the same way about it like we do. He probably just thought it was a great time and you could have a special day together. Either way it had nothing to do with your mom, so I would be happy for her.
Post # 9
Geez. You aren’t being a brat. That’s really inconsiderate of him and I hope she apologizes to you.
The day after Fiance and I got engaged, his dad decided to announce that he and his girlfriend were getting married. Not nearly as bad as what happened to you, but I understand how you feel. I’m not keen on being the center of attention, but I did feel a little sad that instead of being excited for us his family was talking about his dad and girlfriend getting married after only dating for three months.
Post # 10
you do not sound like a bat but i wouldnt hold a grudge against your mom… she had no idea. her boyfriend seems clueless and insensitive
Post # 11
Holy crap. No, you aren’t being a brat. I would be very upset…not the right time or place!!
Post # 12
I wouldn’t have minded someone getting engaged at an event of mine- even my wedding. But, I’m aware I’m in the minority on this and so, in your mom’s shoes, I would have felt uncomfortable, wondering if you were okay with it, wondering how inappropriate others felt it looked. I wouldn’t want to be proposed to at someone else’s event, especially in front of a whole bunch of people. Your mom’s new fiance probably didn’t mean any harm, and was probably thinking he’d sidestepped any spotlight hogging by waiting til toward the end of the event- but it was pretty clueless of him.
Post # 13
No, I don’t think you’re being a brat at all. I think if her bf had asked you if it was okay, you would at least have had the choice and/or been prepared. Or you could have told him- hey I’m really happy for you & mom, but I’d rather you plan another time to propose. It kinda took the focus off of the reason everyone gathered in the first place. But at this point I don’t think there’s much you can do about it, unless you want to talk to your mother privately. But that could cause issues, and I’m not sure that it would be recieved how you intend it to come across. So yeah, it was definitely inappropriate- malicious? probably not. But you have every right to be frustrated!
Post # 14
jazandlo : I don’t think it’s a big deal. Surely there will be plenty more moments before your wedding where all eyes are on you. They took a little time at the end of this one party — kind of iffy, but harmless in the grand scheme of things. I would not spend the energy to be mad at either of them or let this do any permanent damage to the relationship.
Post # 15
You don’t sound like a brat. Since this guy doesn’t seem to have a great grasp of “the done thing” and etiquette, I’d find a way to let your mother know that she should give him the heads up not to plan any more grand gestures at one of your wedding related events. Certainly not without asking you first.