(Closed) Am I being a brat? Mom got engaged at my engagement party

posted 3 years ago in Parties
Post # 2
Member
14 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Honestly, I would’ve probably been a tad on the taken aback side. I think that day was meant for you and your FH – not your mom and her boyfriend. I think its ok to have done what you did for what its worth. Kudos to you for putting on a smile. A brat? No. But be thankful it wasn’t at your wedding.

Post # 3
Member
12227 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

I think your mother’s Fiance was clueless and insensitive and that without your permission it was beyond inappropriate. But it’s a done deal now, so not much you can do about it. 

Just think, it could have been at your wedding. 

Post # 5
Member
6771 posts
Busy Beekeeper

jazandlo :  An odd choice on the BF’s part, to be sure. I hope he’s just clueless and your mom didn’t know he planned to propose at your party.

Post # 6
Member
6830 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

You don’t sound like a brat to me. No need to tell your mom or her bf how you feel, but I totally understand. Like really? He couldn’t have at least waited until the next day? 

Post # 7
Member
9972 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

I’m gonna assume her SO figured it was a good plan because a lot of her family and friends would happen to be there to witness the moment without having to arrange something on his own?

Post # 8
Member
4258 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

He should not have done that, but I don’t think many men would think the same way about it like we do.  He probably just thought it was a great time and you could have a special day together.  Either way it had nothing to do with your mom, so I would be happy for her.

Post # 9
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee

Geez.  You aren’t being a brat.  That’s really inconsiderate of him and I hope she apologizes to you.

The day after Fiance and I got engaged, his dad decided to announce that he and his girlfriend were getting married.  Not nearly as bad as what happened to you, but I understand how you feel.  I’m not keen on being the center of attention, but I did feel a little sad that instead of being excited for us his family was talking about his dad and girlfriend getting married after only dating for three months.

 

Post # 10
Member
34 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2017

you do not sound like a bat but i wouldnt hold a grudge against your mom… she had no idea. her boyfriend seems clueless and insensitive

Post # 11
Member
200 posts
Helper bee

Holy crap.  No, you aren’t being a brat.  I would be very upset…not the right time or place!!

Post # 12
Member
5882 posts
Bee Keeper

I wouldn’t have minded someone getting engaged at an event of mine- even my wedding. But, I’m aware I’m in the minority on this and so, in your mom’s shoes, I would have felt uncomfortable, wondering if you were okay with it, wondering how inappropriate others felt it looked. I wouldn’t want to be proposed to at someone else’s event, especially in front of a whole bunch of people. Your mom’s new fiance probably didn’t mean any harm, and was probably thinking he’d sidestepped any spotlight hogging by waiting til toward the end of the event- but it was pretty clueless of him.

Post # 13
Member
16 posts
Newbee

No, I don’t think you’re being a brat at all. I think if her bf had asked you if it was okay, you would at least have had the choice and/or been prepared. Or you could have told him- hey I’m really happy for you & mom, but I’d rather you plan another time to propose. It kinda took the focus off of the reason everyone gathered in the first place. But at this point I don’t think there’s much you can do about it, unless you want to talk to your mother privately. But that could cause issues, and I’m not sure that it would be recieved how you intend it to come across. So yeah, it was definitely inappropriate- malicious? probably not. But you have every right to be frustrated!

Post # 14
Member
8869 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

jazandlo :  I don’t think it’s a big deal. Surely there will be plenty more moments before your wedding where all eyes are on you. They took a little time at the end of this one party — kind of iffy, but harmless in the grand scheme of things. I would not spend the energy to be mad at either of them or let this do any permanent damage to the relationship.

Post # 15
Member
6231 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

You don’t sound like a brat. Since this guy doesn’t seem to have a great grasp of “the done thing” and etiquette, I’d find a way to let your mother know that she should give him the heads up not to plan any more grand gestures at one of your wedding related events. Certainly not without asking you first.

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