Post # 16
- Wedding: April 2016 - Manhattan, NY
jazandlo : You’re totally justified in your feelings! I think your mom’s fiance should have ran his plans by you instead of just using your event as his big proposal. My husband proposed on vacation, which was a week before his sister’s wedding, and she was ecstatic. We didn’t “use” her wedding as an engagement celebration, we had our own, but their family congratulated us and wanted to hear the story, and SIL was glad that we were able to share with the family while they were all gathered for their big day. Sorry this happened to you!
Post # 17
I would be mortified if I was your mom! I think that was very inappropriate of her boyfriend and you totally have the right to be annoyed.
Post # 18
I’m guessing her boyfriend didn’t think that through. Maybe he would have never even realized it was poor timing, but I don’t think you’re being a brat. I think you handled it well, because why make a scene and ruin the whole thing when it’s already done? I’m with you though, it should have been done at a different time.
Post # 19
I honestly don’t see what the big deal is. It’s not stealing any of your thunder, you’re still are engaged, still plan on getting married. If they had gotten engaged the day before what difference would it make? Now they’ll always have an extra fond memory of your engagement party. I think it’s quite nice actually.
Post # 21
No you’re not being a brat, I would be upset too.
I’m gonna go against the grain and say you should mention it to your mom. Or I would, at least. This is why:
I feel a lot better after confronting somebody who upset me and if I don’t get the opportunity to do that, there is a high probability that I’ll hold some kind of grudge. Even with time to get over the experience and even knowing that holding a grudge is not productive and also juvenile, feelings are feelings and we can’t just will them away.
Id be really calm and nice about it but Id probably mention it to my mom in private.
Also, you still have a wedding coming up so a small chat might prevent something similar happening on your big day.
Post # 22
I am not hateful or angry towards him or anything of that nature, just a bit bothered and annoyed. I was thinking that we only had three hours for it to be about us, after all it was our event. Thankfully he didn’t pull this at our wedding. I think there would have definitely been a different reaction if it happened at our wedding for sure. I just thought some things are just a big no-no–you don’t purpose to someone at another couple’s engagement party, you don’t announce a pregnancy at another person’s baby shower and etc. I don’t want to sound like an attention hog but I’m glad my feelings have been validated. It would have been nice if he talked to me about it before he did it instead of completely blinded siding me but hey it’s done now. I might say something to him about my feelings towards it since my mom clearly had no idea that he was going to do that. I haven’t said anything about their engagement/proposal after it happened so I might have a small chat with my mom but I’m not going to put too much energy into it. I think if I was extremely upset and devastated, then I would have a more detailed conversation with them but I’ll keep it brief. I honestly thought I was in a dream lol
Post # 23
I never feel its in good taste to propose during another individuals celebration. However what are the chances that your Mom knew about this plan? Since its taken place and you can’t undo what has already been done I think you are going to need to accept things. It’s okay you aren’t thrilled with what has taken place but now focus on your Mom’s happiness and excitement beyond the proposal.
Post # 24
Your mom’s fiancé sounds lazy. He didn’t want to plan his own thing so he piggybacked on yours. I get why you are annoyed but be thankful he didn’t pull this at your wedding.
Post # 25
You’re a brat. Be happy for her.
Post # 27
- Wedding: April 2018 - Our Backyard
That’s is so TACKY. I’m sorry they did that to you.
Post # 28
It was kind of thoughtless of the guy, but it really wasn’t your moms fault and it isn’t really fair of you to dull her moment over it. Obviously she was really happy and you don’t want her to feel badly about the memory of it forever, so I say this is a good opportunity to be the bigger person and let bygones be bygones. But yes, I’d totally be annoyed in private if this happened to me.
Post # 29
You are not being a brat at all. I got engaged in the hotel (in private) after my friend’s wedding and we kept it a secret for a whole week so we didn’t steal the thunder of our dear friends who we loved. plus it was super fun the next morning at brunch to be secretly engaged. romantic. your mom’s fiance was totally rude for sure, but thats water under the bridge now. it won’t do any good to bring it up.
Post # 30
While I personally would not have minded…
I think men dont always know/understand these etiquette rules. Eh…obviously your mom did not know when he was going to propose so it wasn’t some diabolical plan to disrupt your party. I think you handled it with grace and if I were you, I would drop it. Now if it was at your wedding…