(Closed) Am I being a brat? Mom got engaged at my engagement party

posted 3 years ago in Parties
Post # 16
Member
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2016 - Manhattan, NY

jazandlo :  You’re totally justified in your feelings! I think your mom’s fiance should have ran his plans by you instead of just using your event as his big proposal. My husband proposed on vacation, which was a week before his sister’s wedding, and she was ecstatic. We didn’t “use” her wedding as an engagement celebration, we had our own, but their family congratulated us and wanted to hear the story, and SIL was glad that we were able to share with the family while they were all gathered for their big day. Sorry this happened to you!

Post # 17
Member
549 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

I would be mortified if I was your mom! I think that was very inappropriate of her boyfriend and you totally have the right to be annoyed.

Post # 18
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee

I’m guessing her boyfriend didn’t think that through. Maybe he would have never even realized it was poor timing, but I don’t think you’re being a brat. I think you handled it well, because why make a scene and ruin the whole thing when it’s already done? I’m with you though, it should have been done at a different time. 

Post # 19
Member
299 posts
Helper bee

I honestly don’t see what the big deal is.   It’s not stealing any of your thunder,  you’re still are engaged,  still plan on getting married.   If they had gotten engaged the day before what difference would it make?   Now they’ll always have an extra fond memory of your engagement party.  I think it’s quite nice actually.   

Post # 21
Member
1128 posts
Bumble bee

No you’re not being a brat, I would be upset too.

 

I’m gonna go against the grain and say you should mention it to your mom.  Or I would, at least.  This is why:

I feel a lot better after confronting somebody who upset me and if I don’t get the opportunity to do that, there is a high probability that I’ll hold some kind of grudge.  Even with time to get over the experience and even knowing that holding a grudge is not productive and also juvenile, feelings are feelings and we can’t just will them away. 

Id be really calm and nice about it but Id probably mention it to my mom in private. 

Also, you still have a wedding coming up so a small chat might prevent something similar happening on your big day.  

Post # 23
Member
5037 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

I never feel its in good taste to propose during another individuals celebration.  However what are the chances that your Mom knew about this plan?  Since its taken place and you can’t undo what has already been done I think you are going to need to accept things.  It’s okay you aren’t thrilled with what has taken place but now focus on your Mom’s happiness and excitement beyond the proposal.

Post # 24
Member
3300 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

Your mom’s fiancé sounds lazy. He didn’t want to plan his own thing so he piggybacked on yours. I get why you are annoyed but be thankful he didn’t pull this at your wedding. 

Post # 25
Member
894 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

You’re a brat.  Be happy for her.

Post # 27
Member
1670 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018 - Our Backyard

That’s is so TACKY. I’m sorry they did that to you. 

Post # 28
Member
972 posts
Busy bee

It was kind of thoughtless of the guy, but it really wasn’t your moms fault and it isn’t really fair of you to dull her moment over it. Obviously she was really happy and you don’t want her to feel badly about the memory of it forever, so I say this is a good opportunity to be the bigger person and let bygones be bygones. But yes, I’d totally be annoyed in private if this happened to me.

Post # 29
Member
585 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

You are not being a brat at all. I got engaged in the hotel  (in private) after my friend’s wedding and we kept it a secret for a whole week so we didn’t steal the thunder of our dear friends who we loved. plus it was super fun the next morning at brunch to be secretly engaged. romantic. your mom’s fiance was totally rude for sure, but thats water under the bridge now. it won’t do any good to bring it up. 

Post # 30
Member
3092 posts
Sugar bee

While I personally would not have minded…

I think men dont always know/understand these etiquette rules. Eh…obviously your mom did not know when he was going to propose so it wasn’t some diabolical plan to disrupt your party. I think you handled it with grace and if I were you, I would drop it. Now if it was at your wedding…

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