- 7 years ago
- Wedding: November 2012
This is going to be a long winded post but I just wanted to find out if I am over reacting or if I have a right to feel this way…
Last night my fiance and I hosted our own engagement party, we’ve been engaged for over a year, but for a number of reasons have not been able to have the party we wanted until now. This party was important for us as we are eloping and not having a wedding and this was the chance for all our friends and family to come along and celebrate with us.
When we were first engaged, my parents told us that they would save up some money so that we could have a party. We waited for them to tell us when we could start planning, but the time never came. After a year we realised that if we wanted a party we’d have to throw it ourselves (which was our original plan but then my parents insisted they would pay).
So we worked hard to save up the money to have our party and invited all of our nearest and dearest to come along and celebrate. It was a great night, except something at the end of the night made me feel angry and frustrated. When I went to pay the final amount owing on the bill, the manager of the venue told me it had already been taken care of. I had already paid $1000 towards the cost of the party, and the remaining amount was approx $1400.
I then found out that my parents had paid the remaining amount. And they kind of acted like I should be really greatful and thankful to them, but I didnt feel that way at all. I feel like a total brat for saying these things but it was just really dissapointing.
When we told them we’d planned our party and sorted it all out, we said to them they just had to come along, all we wanted was to have them celebrate with us. They never mentioned being able to contribute any money for the party once we had started planning, and now I just feel like they expect us to be indebted to them?
I think that they should have at least asked if they could pay for the remaining costs of the party- just to give us the courtesy of making the decision if this was OK or not. Instead we had no say in the matter, and they said that was their gift to us. And I have also thought, what if we had paid the bill before they got to it? What gift would they have given us then? They didnt even have a card ready for us on the night.
I kind of feel like we did all this work for the party, planned it all and made decisions regarding decorations etc based on the budget that me and Fiance had set out for ourselves, and that if we’d known they were going to pay this amount of money, we could have done things a bit differently and spent our money on different things, such as hiring a photographer, because we wished we could have done that but according to the budget we had set, we just couldnt afford it.
So, I guess what I am asking is, do I have a right to feel a bit annoyed? Or am I just a total b*tch who is being ungrateful?