(Closed) am i being a bridezilla?

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Hostess
3376 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I don’t think you’re a bridezilla for being upset, but I also understand her being excited about being pregnant! That’s a big deal! However, 7 weeks is REALLY early to announce a pregnancy so part of me thinks she kind of did do it on purpose? Perhaps? 

Just go with the flow. Be happy for her, and enjoy your wedding day! 🙂 

Post # 4
Member
1475 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I don’t think you are being a bridezilla at all!

Try to not focus on that and not let that get you down. Focus on the people that love you and support you, focus on the beautiful future you and your FI have planned and let nothing zap your happiness.

Post # 5
Member
755 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

she sounds *exactly* like my sister (minus the kids).  My sister is NOT a BM, despite all of the backlash I’m getting.  She acts just like this, plus throws in her own condescending comments. Remember, it’s your wedding, you decide who is part of it and who isnt.  If your sister wants to be part of it, she’ll shape up.  You are totally not being a bridezilla.  (Trying?) to be on the positive side, maybe she announced so early, so she didnt announce too much closer to your wedding day? (trying REALLY hard!)

Post # 6
Member
7872 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

The main things I can see wrong is the issue with the dress and her son’s outfit. That and not attending things, and criticising your wedding. The fact she won’t show you her dress is a big red flag and to be honest I don’t think you should have let her back in the bridal party until she proved she had it. I’d also make alternative ring bearer arrangements (like, assume you’re not having one, have the Best Man carry the rings).

But while I can see it’s the final straw, I wouldn’t worry about her wedding plans or her pregnancy. I highly doubt she got pregnant to draw attention from you. And getting pregnancy is a couple-of-times-in-lifetime event, so I think it’s fine her announcing it. Perhaps not the day of the wedding, but I don’t see any problem with 10 days before.

Post # 7
Member
186 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I don’t think you’re being a bridezila either.  These should be happy times in both of your lives!  I do think it’s sad that a sister would say that her sister’s wedding is “stupid” and I can totally see why that would be hurtful.  Have you been truthful with her about being hurt by things she’s said and done?

Post # 9
Member
1193 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

You aren’t being a bridezilla, in my opinion.  I have two sisters and honestly, sometimes we do and say things to drive each other crazy.  It sounds like with the pregnancy, she just wanted some limelight too.  Maybe she’s feeling left out with all the wedding talk because it’s the “big deal” in your family right now.  I’m not saying she’s not being a pain, but it may explain her behavior.  I especially think this because you said she keeps bringing up her wedding, too.  Do you think maybe she’s trying to use your mutual life events to bond with you?  

The other things sounds like she’s not into the wedding planning, which may have nothing to do with you.  Some people don’t get into.  Some people are just disorganized.  

Really, I think that it sounds like a little jealousy mixed in with a little sibling rivalry and maybe being upset that it’s all about you right now.  This is just my experience from growing up with just sisters.  I’d just try to keep a level head and be the easygoing one.  She obviously is feeling a little threatened… throw her some attention… be the first to be excited about the baby, ask her about her wedding plans, etc.  I think she’d really appreciate it, even though she’s completely being ridiculous right now.

Post # 10
Member
755 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@mrsrecon:  haha what! that’s even worse.  I hear you.  Best thing to do: sit back (As hard as it is) and let her make a fool of herself.  I have to tell myself this over and over – that people aren’t so much pointing blame at me for not including my sister, but looking at her and thinkng “WTH did you DO to her!?”

Post # 11
Member
9556 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I am surprised she is telling people at 7 weeks, butwould never presume her intentions were to hurt you. But I try to make that a goal for myself – to not assume people have bad intentions. Because you can never really know. And it’s not like she announced this at yoru wedding or at a wedding event. I would congratulate her and then not give it another thought. She’s her. You’re you. It’s not like your family can’t be exctied about two things at once. It’ll be fine. You’ll have so much going on on your wedding day that you won’t have time to think about it. And it’s so not worth your worry!

Post # 12
Member
8888 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Sounds like your sister is starved for attention.  I honestly would have just asked her to step down by now and not go back on that. She’s not acting like a sister, she’s acting like a brat.  I’m surprised your mom hasn’t stepped in.

Post # 14
Member
8888 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@mrsrecon:  UGH that sucks.  Stick to your guns, I would be really pissed if I were in your spot.  It’s going to be your day, not hers (she’ll have her own one day).

Post # 15
Member
609 posts
Busy bee

@mrsrecon:  “but here is my latest problem: she just found out she is pregnant, thinks she is about 7 weeks, and announced it to everyone today (10 days before my wedding!) she isnt married yet, her FI is deployed, and she says it was an accident but they are happy.”


This makes me feel you are being a bit Bridezilla. 


Post # 16
Member
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

She doesn’t sound like she’s being a very supportive SISTER, let alone bridesmaid.  There sounds like there might be some underlying resentment getting in the way of you being about to enjoy this time togehter.  Maybe you just need to calmly ask her what’s going on (in a “I care about you” way).  Maybe I’ve been spolied with a sister who is also a best friend, but she’s obviously not being supportive or helpful for this process.

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