(Closed) Am I being a bridezilla?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Should I say something to my bridesmaid?

    Yes

    No

  • Post # 16
    Member
    4766 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    no ones going to outshine you.  

    Post # 17
    Member
    7426 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2013

    I’ve never seen a bridesmaid outshine the bride. Don’t worry about it.

    Post # 18
    Member
    601 posts
    Busy bee

    View original reply
    Jenny1984:  I have tattooed eyebrows and lash extensions and now hair extensions…. unless you want to pay for hair and makeup you can’t really tell her how to do her hair or makeup. you’ll be the one in white nobody will outshine you on your wedding day so honestly I would just let it go. You’ll look beautiful and asking other women to look “less” beautiful than they could just to make you feel a little better is not the best idea you should celebrate how beautiful all of your lovely friends look. they are there for you, remember that.

    Post # 19
    Member
    9578 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2015

    I think it’s fine to ask for a simple style/look for hair and makeup. 

    I dont think it’s fine to ban high end makeup and hair extensions.

    I also don’t think she should get her FACE tattooed ever, much less 2 days before a big event- but good luck bringing that one up.

    And ultimately… I don’t think a Bridesmaid or Best Man could ever outshine a bride!

    Post # 20
    Member
    4424 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

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    Jenny1984:  I think as the bride you can request an updo and lower heels, but you cannot decide how they do their makeup or anything in that area. And honestly no, you can’t bring anything about her makeup up without seeming like a “jealous bitch”. The fact is, she’s still only a bridesmaid. Everyone will be looking at the happy couple. Best to not even mention anything and to work around your own insecurities. 

    Post # 22
    Member
    2564 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    There will always be someone prettier, thinner, taller, smarter, funnier, more successful, richer etc. than you.

    If she wants to get hair extensions, eyelash extensions, tattooed eyebrowns, high heels, then she can do so.  She will not outshine you, you are the bride and everyone will be focused on you and your new husband.

    Post # 23
    Member
    3025 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

    Just adding to the camp who are telling you NO one will be comparing you to her. The people who are coming to your wedding are there to support YOU and on the day you will definitely feel that. 😀

    Personally I think your friend is being really thoughtless, but I would let it go and let her have her extensions etc. YOU are the bride. She can’t outshine you.

    Post # 24
    Member
    460 posts
    Helper bee

    Yes I definitely think you are being a bridezilla!  Sorry but to me it sounds like this girl is so excited for your wedding and going to lots of efforts to look good for you on your special day.  I’m not sure how you can call her your dear friend in one breath and then complain about her in this way.  And as PP said – what is so ‘kind’ about buying dresses they will like??

    You sound like you have a few insecurities/issues that you need to work on. The bride will always be the centre of attention and will look pretty.

    Post # 25
    Member
    305 posts
    Helper bee

    View original reply
    Jenny1984:  Hi as for the hair and heels, i see that as your choice. I wore flip flops to the last one I was bridesmaid for as she was a good 3″ shorter. I didnt for one second complain, we all had our hair the same it was fab. As for the make up I’d let her know that you want it to be classy but I dont see anything wrong with lashes or extensions but I suppose thats because I like them. Maybe she feels that as she is in the lime light some what she wants to look good? x

    Post # 26
    Member
    305 posts
    Helper bee

    Can I also just say, I was once a bridesmaid for a real bridezilla once, she was not nice but she was defo extreme compared to you. I asked her about hair, she said she had no plans and wasnt fussed. I got my hair in a bob and she went mental, it had been shoulder length before. She told me no bridesmaids were having jewels or flowers in their hair on the morning of the wedding the other two bridesmaids had loads of lovely clips and i had nothing. I’d asked about shoes she said whatever you like as long as its silver or cream. I bought silver, she went mental and said her sister had cream so I needed cream. She insisted that we met every week to practice a fun dance for her wedding. I can honestly say when the day was over I had a huge sigh of relief, it actually put me off getting married until a year ago (hers was 3 years back) and we are barely friends anymore. Please be totally honest about what you want, don’t be a diva about it because your friendship is not worth ruining for what is basically one day out of your life.

     

    xx

    Post # 27
    Member
    164 posts
    Blushing bee

    View original reply
    Jenny1984:  i have my eyebrows tattooed – 1. it killed like hell 2. it took a good few weeks for them to look normal again – ie the redness and the scabbing (because yes they do scab like any other tattoo) so if shes serious about it she needs to do it a good few months before – that said its the best thing i ever did but im extremley blonde and my eyebrows are near on invisable without them!

    If you are paying for hair then you can completely say to have it up, i wear hair extensions 50% of the time and have had them in when i’ve been bridesmaid and found my hair actually went up better with them in, also eyelash extensions dont have to look over the top, especially the semi perm ones they tend to look more natural anyway.

    i think your worrying over nothing, i can honestly say ive never been to a wedding where i’ve been looking at the bridesmaids thinkin wow they look waaaaaay hotter than the bride, it doesnt even enter my head as im too busy looking how beautiful, happy and lovely the bride/groom look. 

    Post # 28
    Member
    7953 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I was in a wedding where I lost 15 pounds before so I would look extra good. Guess I should have just stayed a fat ass!

    Post # 29
    Member
    13904 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    View original reply
    gelaine22:  I agree with everything she said – hair and shoe requests are reasonable. 

    Here’s the thing, OP – you’ll be the one in the white dress.  No one will outshine you.

    Post # 30
    Member
    3723 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    View original reply
    Jenny1984:  Do you propose telling your Bridesmaid or Best Man, “hey, you have to use L’Oreal makeup or you can’t be in my wedding!” Ha ha ha. I don’t think so. You are the bride. All eyes will be on you without a doubt!!

     

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