Post # 1
I asked my mom yesterday afternoon (Monday) if she could stop by sometime this week to check out my seating chart to make sure I got her side of the family right. Both my mom and dad are off for the summer, so I didn’t think this was a ridiculous request. I need to start working on my place cards/favors (photobooth frame) asap. I even said I would work from home one day if she wanted to stop out during the day. She said its a really busy week – she has a haircut at 1pm on Wed. and a show at 7:00pm on Thursday, so she didn’t think she was able to make it this week. Uh ok! I said thats fine, but I’m going to go with what I have for the seating chart, since she can’t find the time to stop by. Then the sh*t hit the fan…she yelled and yelled and yelled at me. About what? I don’t know. I stopped listening. And when she kept it up for more than 5 minutes, I hung up.
Am I being unreasonable? Should I have given her more notice? I didn’t ask her to drop everything and come over right that second.
Post # 3
I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all. Could you just talk to her over the phone about the seating chart and go through her friends/family with her that way?
Post # 4
I think it’s reasonable if she lives in the area. If it’s anhour or more drive each way, I could see it being an issue.
Is there a way to scan the chart to her or to type it out?
Post # 5
I don’t think you’re being unreasonable. She sounds like my mom, yelling and yelling over an issue she’s created in her head. I guess the best course of action would be to confirm the seating chart over the phone or go ahead and assume you got it right. Does your mother live far from you?
Post # 6
Mom lives around 40 minutes away. She never, ever comes and visits. So, I’m hurt that she’s putting a fight up about this one that I request she come visit.
I used paper plates and sticky notes to come up with my seating chart. This helps indicate who should be closest to the dance floor, which groups of people should have tables near each other, etc. I am a very visual person.
I can type it all up for her, but I don’t think she’ll get the full effect of it without seeing the layout. And then complain, when its messed up….
Post # 7
what?! sounds like my mom!!
Post # 8
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
Skype it one night? That way you can show her and she doesn’t have to drive. Everybody wins.
Post # 9
@beachbride1216: Mom can hardly email, let alone skype, haha. That would be a nice alternative, though.
I think mom wants me to gather my supplies and bring them to her house and lay everything out for her. I work a 8-5pm job; she doesn’t. I don’t understand her not being flexible the month before my wedding.
Post # 10
She is being unreasonable. She is only unavailable one day in the evening when you are home from work. She could do Tues , Wed or Friday evening.
You also offered to work from home one day so that also made Tuesday, Thursday and Friday during the day available.
For Gosh sakes, your wedding is less than a month away. When does she think these things will get done?
One would think that a 40 min drive to meet with your daughter prior to her wedding might get put on the “To DO” list!
Post # 11
Maybe your mom is stressed out too? My mom and I were at each other’s throats during the wedding planning, and I didn’t even ask her for help. I’d say go there after work, go out for a nice supper or make something together and discuss it that way, especially if you want her input. You may have to make a sacrifice and go to her, which sucks since you do work and she’s off. If you don’t really care at this point and just want it done, then go with your seating chart, but pick your battles and find out if it is worth having you and your mom mad at each other.
Post # 12
@julies1949: She doesn’t get that wedding planning takes time. She never got it, and still doesn’t. She continues to think that everything can be put off until the very last second. She offers her help, but when it comes to actually helping, she has some lame excuse – oh, that can wait, we can get to that in a few weeks. Then she yells about how I did this to myself, with all of my DIY projects.
Post # 13
I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all! I guess you could maybe take a pic of it and send to her if you don’t want to type it up.
My mom and dad have been kind of weird. I think my dad is sick of hearing about the wedding in general. I also like the advice to just go to your mom if she is being a PITA. I have had to drag my mom places. It’s like one minute she is helpful and then next she is disagreeable…good luck with her!