(Closed) Am I being a bridezilla with a vendor?!

posted 5 years ago in Venue
Post # 3
Member
3885 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

You’re not being a control freak, but you do need to reset your expectations as to how responsive the vendors will be, and what level of involvement they will have, in the months before your wedding. It’s very common for you to get very little personal attention till 6-8 weeks before your wedding. Your vendors will be busy giving their attention to brides whose weddings are happening immediately, and you kind of have to wait your turn. It’s frustrating, but it’s just how the industry works in a lot of cases.  Do what you can over email and phone, and rest assured that when it is your turn, you’ll appreciate being that venue coordinator’s primary concern, and not having to share her attention with someone whose wedding is 8 months away.

Post # 4
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

No you aren’t. Six to eight weeks before the wedding is cutting it awfully close. While I didn’t meet with them frequently I think we had a few big meeting to go over things. Most of our communication with the venue was over email/telephone. But We had I want to say 4 meetings to talk face to face and double/triple check everything

Although maybe if you are doing everything in house maybe that way they do it closer. But it would make me uneasy, esp that they she seems not willing to meet with you. I would send a few emails to relay information but also press her for an in person meetings and ask her how many can you have.

Post # 5
Member
4495 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I don’t think you are. I would be worried having everything pushed back so late. That being said, most of my vendors communicate through email. My florist and I email back and forth whenever I have questions or want to change something in our arrangements. I also usually communicate through email with our coordinator at our venue. It has worked out fine for us. I would just want to have the flowers squared away a little more in advance, if I were you. I guess if they can guarantee they can get what you want without advanced notice though then it shouldn’t be a problem.

Post # 6
Member
1848 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Our “details” meeting with our venue is about 6 weeks out. They do 70 weddings a year and rising, and I understand that they cannot give me 100% until right before our event. I’m sure you can email with any questions you have – my venue welcomes that until the details meeting.

If your venue is known for its attention to detail, let them do what they do. I’m sure they’ll make your day very special. Until then, email/call/email/call when you have a question. 🙂

Post # 7
Member
2095 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I agree with @fishbone: that you need to adjust your expectations as to how often you will hear from them/might have a different schedule than you…this was HUGE for me!! 🙂

But I also can see why you want to get it out of the way. However, this might be how they do things and they might have a set way of doing it down so 6-8 weeks ahead might not be too pressed. Like they might be able to knock it out in a few emails…maybe there isn’t too much to decide.

How about asking if you can either decide it all through email or asking if you can come in Oct? That way you beat the holiday rush and it’s earlier than later but it’s not so much earlier that it’s out of the norm?

But no…no Bridezilla!

Post # 8
Member
979 posts
Busy bee

Being in the wedding business myself, You have to remember that this venue is in the wedding business. They pretty much know what they are doing and know the timelines of their clients and know when to get final counts and what not for their weddings at their venue.  I wouldn’t worry so much about it.  They are professionals and know what they are doing. 

Post # 9
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Cathedral ceremony, reception in a converted hardware warehouse

Sorry, but I’m kind of going to disagree with everyone here. You’re paying them money to provide a service {and many services, it seems!} so you need to be reassured! I  would push back again and ask if you might have an hour of someone’s time about six months before the wedding, to go over your questions and have them axplain their process. Explain that you just want to get an idea of the scope of what they’re covering and what else you need to cover, so everyone is on the same page. Then you can certainly follow up with {infrequent} emails whenever you have additional questions. I understand that they are in the business, and they know what they’re doing, and that they need to focus on other weddings before yours, but you also are paying them money and providing their business, and you have some rights, too. Good luck!

Post # 12
Member
1357 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I think if your venue was providing one or two services, that would be one thing. But because they’re also providing the flowers, DJ, decor, and I assume the food, there should be at least one, if not multiple meetings much sooner.

 

We met with our venue coordinator first to to tour the facilities and book with them, then to do a menu tasting and pick out things like linens and let them know what decor of theirs we would be using, and then again to see all their add-ons/appetizers and have free food and cocktails. Then probably around the 6-8 week mark we went over things like who all of our outside vendors were and when they should arrive during the wedding, finalized all our details with the venue coordinator, and all that.

 

So we had several meetings with our venue, and they weren’t even arranging our flowers and DJ! Those meetings were separate events with separate vendors and really merited their own meetings for planning the song list, lighting, going over who is in the wedding party for flowers and intros, and choosing flowers down to the bouquet wraps. I found that the vendors took careful notes and added them to our file when we met in person, whereas emails merited less attention and were sometimes lost.

Post # 13
Member
3885 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

OP, ask yourself what kinds of things you would want to discuss that need to be done in person.  If you want to get a second look at the venue to get a better record of colors and decor that are already in place, or count the number of stairs an elderly guest may need to navigate, those are definitely things that make an in-person visit warranted.  I’d start a list of things that you absoultely must be on site to accomplish, and in a few weeks/months when your list is complete, request a visit, naming those specific tasks.  Chances are, with specific tasks defined, you will get the onsite meeting you want.

However, in going through your list-making, you may find that very few things actually need to be handled in person, and you may be wanting the in-person meeting more from a security/customer service perspective than anything. In which case I am sticking with my original advice: trust in the professionals you’ve hired, and wait your turn.

Most businesses, regardless of industry, have established operating procedures and while we as customers would like them to step outside those procedures when we want them to, it’s unreasonable to expect that we’ll always get that.  Business procedures exist because this is how a business has decided is the most consistent and effective way for them to conduct business, and departing too far from the norm just causes inconcistency and chaos. If the business prefers questions be asked in email (which many do, because it gives a written paper trail and helps ensure accuracy when the discussion may have happened 4 months before the service delivery) then do your best to adapt to their procedures.

Post # 14
Member
2555 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

question: what is it exactly that needs to be solved in person?

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