(Closed) Am I being a buttnugget? Need perspective…(Long…)

posted 6 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
Member
688 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@PonytailKim:  You’re not a jerk. You notified her of the change, told her you wanted her to be there and then graciously accepted that she couldn’t! I don’t see anything wrong with how you reacted. And you can’t make everyone happy. AND you’re not supposed to track her every move through facebook. Thats a little immature.

Post # 4
Member
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

No, you aren’t being a jerk. Plain and simple, this is your wedding!  There are seat sales for plane tickets all the time, I personally feel she is being dramatic and difficult. However, I don’t know her, so let’s say she realllly is strapped for cash. Any chance you or your parents might be able to chip in just a little extra so that it won’t cost anyone too much money?

I think that if she refuses, or makes it more difficult, you will soon see the problem is hers and not yours. I think your new wedding sounds AMAZING, and after being engaged since 2010, you CERTAINLY deserve to do what you want, when you want in regards to your wedding day!  I’m sure you will have plently of your close friends and loved ones there to make your day special!  Stick to your guns and don’t feel guilty!

Post # 5
Member
3769 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

How close are you to your half sister?  At first thought, if my sibling couldn’t make it, I would probably rearrange things so that they could.  HOWEVER, 6 months is quite a long time to be able to work something out/save and it sounds like she is being very unfair to you.  BUT on the other hand, you don’t want to do anything you regret, which may include excluding your sister from your wedding.

So, that doesn’t really answer anything but gives you some pros and cons to think about I hope :/

Post # 6
Member
1157 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@PonytailKim:  Buttnugget…haven’t heard that one in a while.  LOL!!

 

No you are not being a jerk.  You explained to her and kept her informed and that is what you should have done.

 

I agree see if maybe family can chip in to help pay for the tickets to get her there.  If she doesn’t come it will probably make things more miserable for you.

Post # 9
Member
688 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@PonytailKim:  Honestly, it sounds like things are tight enough financially for you already without shelling out money for someone who is only ‘kind of supportive when it’s convienent for her’. If she would have responded to you with a little more….sadness?…I’d say try and get her there. But she didn’t. It sounds like she has a lot going on and this is just a really bad time for her. She’s the reason she isn’t coming…not because you moved up your date.

Post # 11
Member
116 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@seabunny:  Yep. +1. You told her what was going on ahead of time. It’s your wedding and if she wants to make it, she will make it. Six months is still quite a long time to save up for a plane ticket. I think she’s making a huge mountain out of a baby molehill.

Post # 12
Member
444 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013 - rolling hills of southern italy

You are not a jerk. You can’t plan your wedding around ANYONE other than yourself and your fiancé. SOMEONE will always have issues showing up. She can change her plans to match yours if she wants to be there. Feb-Aug is enough time. If it is going to ruin the day for you to have her MIA, get it paid for somehow… I guess… But if it is going to be just fine either way, don’t bother. And don’t offer until June or so if she has been treating you exceptionally well. That is my idea of fair anyway. 

Post # 13
Member
75 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

You’re not a jerk at all! In fact, her snide and snarky comments are making her seem like the jerk. This is your day and you don’t have to cater to difficult people. If she feels like she’s doing you a favor by having the honor of being in your wedding party I think she needs to recheck her emotions because that’s just selfish of her.

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