Post # 1
So a quick background: I’m from Ohio and have lived in Southern NJ for almost three years. It’s the farthest I’ve ever lived from home and I am ALL alone (no friends, no family) outside of my fiancée, his family and co-workers. My entire bridal party, family and friends are all 7 1/2 hours away. That means no bridal shower, no bachelorette party, no multiple dress shopping trips, etc.
I have days when I am so homesick I just want to curl in a ball and cry especially when I’m working on wedding stuff or reading about other’s planning. I get sad when I realize that those little things (help with projects, dinners, etc.) are something I can’t do with my family. Then there are the times when I feel like I am planning this alone. FH doesn’t care about place card holders, favors, color schemes, etc. He wants to elope because he says the most important thing to him is being my husband and if I’m not having fun planning the wedding what’s the point?
It’s hard to explain to him that having a bridal shower where everyone there is from his family is nice, but it’s not the same as having your mother, your sister, your best friend since the 2nd grade, your grandmother and aunts there. I want the wedding we agreed on, but the road to it is breaking my heart some days.
He’s suggested moving the wedding from Philadelphia to Ohio, but that doesn’t solve the problem. It just makes the day of different not the days leading up to it.
Should I just suck it up and keep planning alone or should I just elope?
Post # 3
Why can’t you have a bridal shower at home? I live in NJ and I’m flying to FL for my bridal shower
Post # 4
I know how you feel about being away from friends and planning. It’s tough but don’t you still want to have your friends there on the day of your wedding to celebrate with you?
Post # 5
Unless I am paying for it more than likely won’t happen. My family really can’t afford to contribute to the wedding so we are paying for everything ourselves. I can’t imagine it happening unless something drastic happens. There’s a small part of me holding out hope though.
Post # 6
Amira I’m in your same situation.. don’t take it that way, there’s a bright side! A LOT LESS drama!!!!
Post # 7
I understand completely! I moved to Virginia 2 years ago from Michigan where most of my family is. This was the first time I’ve been away from home and boy do I miss it. So much so that we plan on moving back sometime after the wedding.
We thought about moving back sooner this year and have the wedding there, but would of been so stressful and money would be super tight, so we’re having it here. Pretty much all of the guests are from out-of-state, so lots can’t come.
It sucks reading about how other people have all their loved ones there helping out every step of the way, when you know you won’t have that. You feel like your missing out on a lot of special moments; like your being cheated out of this magical experience that you only get once in a lifetime. It’s painful.
What I try to do is email everything to my mom and friends. Pictures, budget ideas, vendor websites – everything. I try and include them in as much as possible. It helps a bit, although to be completely honest, it never gets rid of the loneliness.
The one thing I did was I drove the 12 straight hours home and stayed a week with my parents last October. My mom and I spent 4 days going to every bridal shop in the area til we found my wedding dress. Yes, it wasn’t the same experience dress shopping as most people, but it was still something and I was able to share it with her.
Chin up deary – it may not be your ideal situation, but there are ways to make it work. It’ll all work out fine, trust me. 🙂
(btw, if you ever need some encouragement or anything – i check my messages regularly)
Post # 8
I get it too. 2 weeks after we got engaged we moved to Tucson, where we did not know a SOUL. I am flying to Texas next week for my bridal shower, but none of my bridesmaids will be there as my family is in Texas and my bridesmaids are in California. I talk on the phone ALOT. I email ALOT. you would be surprised at how involved people want to be! So even though they aren’t there in person, you can collaborate!
Post # 9
Thank you all. I just need a reality check at times. I can’t wait until that day when my family will be there and I’m finally married. 🙂