(Closed) Am I being cheap?

posted 5 years ago in Rings
  • poll: Am I being cheap?

    Yes

    No

  • Post # 16
    Member
    446 posts
    Helper bee

    View original reply
    Etassy:  You say: “The issue is I feel like he spoils me and this is a drop in the bucket. But geez that’s a lot of money on a band.”

    I hate to be the one to say it, buuuuuut “geez 23k is a lot of money for a set”.

    Do you see the point I’m trying to make? (I promise I’m not being snarky)

    Post # 17
    Member
    458 posts
    Helper bee

    The brand name right on the topof the band like that is tacky, I’m sorry to say. Not the  right sentiment for a wedding band. I think you’re right not wanting to spend all that money on that ring.  

    Post # 18
    Member
    4524 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    Not cheap, but not fair either. Your set cost nearly 6 times as much as the ring he likes! You also say “we are paying a lot” which leads me to believe that it’s not about you buying this ring alone on a much smaller income. If that’s the case, and you’d be scrimping and living like a pauper while he tossed that 23k down like it was lunch money, then I get it. However, if you can easily afford it but it’s just more than you envisioned spending on him, even though it’s a fraction of what was spent on you, then not very fair.

    Post # 20
    Member
    11404 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2015

    View original reply
    Etassy:  if he wants it and you can afford it, I think you should get it for him even though the branding is kind of obnoxious. Hey, he likes it and it will make him happy. That’s the important thing. 

    Post # 21
    Member
    4524 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    View original reply
    Etassy:  In that case, if you’re buying, you do most definitely have the right to determine budget. I sure wouldn’t spend a whole summer’s income on a ring! Is there a compromise here, like him contributing towards the cost if he must have *that* ring?

    Post # 22
    Member
    554 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    While I think $4000 is a lot for a band that is not in the best taste.. I think that in comparison to $23,000 for your set, it’s completely reasonable.

    Post # 23
    Member
    7895 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    If you both have spent more than 20k on your wedding set, 4k on his wedding band doesn’t seem like it would be a big deal. The proposed wedding band is not my taste or DH’s taste both aesthetically and financially, but if he likes it and can afford it, there’s not necessarily anything wrong with him getting it.

    Since you guys have an income disparity, I hope he’s not expecting you to pay for it though. It does sound like he tends to be a high roller, so if that’s the case, his wanting a flashy wedding band shouldn’t be too surprising.

    Post # 24
    Member
    7369 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    $4,000 divided by 52 weeks is approximtely $75. That should be doable.

    Post # 26
    Member
    913 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Well I was about to vote no, you weren’t being cheap – but then I read further and saw that he’s dropping 23K on your set.  So then I would have to say that you should spoil him just as he’s spoiling you.  I do have to question whether he’ll continue to love a wedding band that flaunts a brand name though.

    Post # 27
    Member
    147 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    He had such a wonderful experience when purchasing my ring so we decided it would be the best idea to purchase his ring from the same place. I was figuring it’s a guys wedding band so it’s guna be less than 1k NBD. The one he’s in love with is almost 3k. No debating. I’m buying it for him. I don’t care if that means I have to cut back on some luxuries. 

    Post # 28
    Member
    446 posts
    Helper bee

    View original reply
    Etassy:  Now that I see you’re in college, I have a question 🙂 Have you both agreed to split the cost, in that he pays for your set, you pay for his? Because if that’s the case, he must know that 4k is a lot for you. Would he not be willing to cover the cost of his wedding band since you’re a student who’s not earning a lot? It just seems a bit unfair to ask this much of you right now..

    Post # 29
    Member
    146 posts
    Blushing bee

    I think that for a ring that expensive, you should both love it. He’s going to be wearing it…but I would personally try to talk him out of that particular band. The branding is obnoxious. 

    Post # 30
    Member
    1849 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    First of all, no, you can’t afford it. You’re being practical and reasonable (especially considering his plans to hardly ever wear it), not cheap. 

    Secondly, that ring is heinous. I’d be embarrassed…

    ETA: I feel I have to point out that the responses you will get on a forum depend soooo heavily on the info you give up front, and you unfortunately disclosed the cost of your future set but not your income/employment status. I would definitely take the answers you get with a grain of salt…

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