Post # 91
what!? You are suggesting she buys him a random ring he didn’t ask for and tell him what he originally wanted was tacky and innapropriate so too bad!?
What makes this ring innapropriate exatly?
OP – DO NOT do this… smh
Post # 92
Sorry OP I may have missed this but why do you have to solely buy his wedding band. Shouldn’t this be a joint expense?
I have to say you don’t have to like it. Like many bee’s say about the womans ring and how they should love it your Fiance should love his as well , regardless of what you think. It’s only fair…
Post # 93
agreed. But he picked this ring with my mom. He took me shopping once to get a “feel.” My mom and he worked on it. She told me about it and I freaked out. I don’t even like black as much as he does. He did that on his own. The rings I loved was like 7 grand. My mom loves black. Literally I had no clue what was going on. I decided on yellow yes. But that was after I talked to my mom and made her realize she was designing a ring for herself. Even the yellow was her idea. He and my mom had decided that they wanted it to stick out and really wanted colored stones somehow in my ring. That was a non negotiable on THEIR END. He didn’t understand yellow diamonds but wanted black because it looks “cool.” I am honestly still pissed that he made basically all of the decisions without me. Also I thought that 15k was a budget with bands. It was only later I learned it didn’t. It was only yesterday that I saw the band he designed and saw the price. 12 for a band. I love my ring however it pisses me off I had no control.
So when it came to my ring I was told things after they discuss things. If you read my post I even said I would love a smaller diamond or a yellow halo. I did not know what I was honestly going to get. and like I said the rings I liked were under budget. So I am not trying to short change him.
Post # 94
Oh, I didn’t mean to imply that that was YOUR logic (non-native speaker here, so bear with me!). My reply was just directed at you because you mentioned that being a frequent reaction to similar posts on the Bee and I wanted to comment on that. Sorry if that didn’t come across. Basically I really wanted to support your advocacy of fairness when it comes to ring choices. I wouldn’t expect my Fiance to spend money on a ring he doesn’t like and at the same time I wouldn’t want to buy one I don’t like. In OP’s original post it sounded like she had no input on the design of her e-ring whatsoever and if that were the case, she should at least have a say in her FI’s ring choice if he expects her to buy it. Granted, the old post you mentioned changes things a bit, but it definitely doesn’t change the fact that she can’t afford it.
Post # 96
This is a little off topic, but you originally said that you wanted black, and then changed to yellow, but now you are saying you had no input. Which is it? Did you or did you not choose your ring?
Post # 97
I voted yes before I read your first response to comments, so now I’m changing it to no. That’s a toonnnn of money for that ring, especially for a student. I’m a student and thought the $450 I spent on my FI’s ring was rough haha.
Post # 99
why so much? Is it that little diamond that makes it so much? Crazy my Fiance would never let me pay that for a band. I think it’s a little bit expensive.
Post # 100
So, you have zero money, and the only opportunity you have to make any money is during this coming summer when you are taking classes AND studying for the MCAT (your shot at getting into a decent med school), but he needs this exorbitantly priced ring, and he needs for it to be paid for by you and you alone.
Which means, he WANTS you to add in a heavy work load onto already existing summer classes and MCAT studying, thereby jeopardizing your future (by undermining your MCAT studying and grades).
And this is somehow justified because he spent entirely too much money, of his own volition, without your approval or input, on a ring that he and your mother designed to suit their own tastes instead of yours.
Post # 101
She’s cheap because she doesn’t want to spend money that she doesn’t actually have?
Post # 102
Jesus, my set was less that $1K and you’re worried over spending $23K? for that amount, get something that’s not stamped Cartier on it.
Post # 103
What is that poll for real?? *hides $500 engagement and wedding ring*
Post # 104
did not. He took me shopping once. He loves black. I personally like pink but have no real issue with the color black. I wanted something simple. He made it clear that he wanted a colored stone. Black is his favorite color. He mentioned having black in our future set. Literally an off hand comment. I said ok. My moms favorite color is also black. Hence the right hand ring I wear was a gift from her. She owns a pair of canary earrings and once mentioned to me I should get a center stone like her earring. I said no. My mom and fi went off and did their thing together. My mom tells me that the ring is starting to be processed and says how the halo is going to black. She shows me a picture and I was not a fan. Especially since he chose a rather large stone 1.50 carats and decided to a black and white DOUBLE halo. Nothing at all like I showed him and way to flashy. I thought he was going to add black peakaboo diamonds on the side or something. My moms backup stone color was yellow. IF I have to chose between black or yellow I much rather have a yellow stone. He doesnt like yellow as much as black but he refused to let me get an all white diamond ring. He wanted a ring that would be “different”. So that’s why in that post I Asked what should I do. I never had a mind to change because I barely knew what was going on. My engagement ring process was my mom and fi making decisions and her telling me things sporadically.
After speaking to him he has decided to look again but he is stuck on Cartier. He wants a “fancy ring” which is fine. He found a trinity ring he likes for a fraction of the price that is less gaudy. (I still think it’s a little gaudy however) Also he has agreed to go half with me on it if I need him to. I will still be paying for his main set 100% by myself. He wasn’t too happy but he understands that the next few months are critical. I explained to him that the same way he has decided to design my wedding band and certain designs aspects are important to him, that his band should be something I atleast like. The bottom picture is what he now wants. I am still not crazy about it but it isn’t as bad as the other one. At this point I much rather get him this ring and move on. So that should hopefully do it.
Oh and I am not allowing him to drop all this money on my Set. We spoke this weekend and he finally gave me the ACTUAL price of my engagment ring and of the band he wants to get me. The total is actually higher than what I posted earlier combined and I explained to him this is getting out of hand. He is out of town but we will discuss my band when he returns. I am only 23. No one needs an over 20k set especially at my age.
thank you bees for all of the advice.