(Closed) Am I being Cheap??? Website RSVP or Phone call

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
3026 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

I don’t see why either is “cheap.” If it’s convenient for your guests, go for it!

We’re doing a website rsvp, but maybe you can offer both options if it isn’t too confusing for you?

Post # 3
1092 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

JJSoon2bwife14:  We did website RSVP and it worked really well. We invited 178 and only had to follow up with about 10 people after the RSVP date. We had a couple people who don’t use the internet and just had someone else RSVP for them. We didn’t have any issues with it.

Post # 4
28 posts

 You cant stop the way people think and there will be people who will look at the invite and think, “this bride is too cheap to pay for rsvp cards and stamps.” The invitation is the first real impression of your wedding and you probably dont want “cheap” to be in any of your guests vocabulary. Im not saying its right, its just the way it is. 

Post # 5
1544 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

You are not being cheap you’re being smart. And saving some trees. 

Post # 6
4040 posts
Honey bee

JJSoon2bwife14:  We hosted a 100k, black-tie wedding, for my daughter last year, at an elegant, historic hotel; guests are still raving about the wedding and the venue. We mailed-out formal, boxed invitations ($12 each). And you know what? We did online RSVP, on the wedding website and no one called us cheap or the etiquette police come to get us.

And it worked! We had 90% acceptance rate, of 250 invited,for a Sunday evening, on a 3-day holiday weekend. The last RSVP was received 10 days BEFORE the due date!

I read on W/B that you sometimes only get 40% of your guests to return the cards in the mail. I am in no way cheap – I am realistic and not wasteful.

While over 50% went through the website, we also had calls, texts, and e-mails, to the bride/groom, MOB/MOG, fathers, my mother, etc., so I just entered the entree choice on the website’s guest spreadsheet.

Post # 7
3718 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

JJSoon2bwife14:  I gave our guests the option of website or mail and many people used the website (it was honestly shocking– people who doen’t use the computer called up their kids to have them do the online RSVP so they could save the pretty card). I say as long has you have both options (call or online), you will be fine.

Post # 8
72 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

We used website along with traditional mail RSVPs for our older/more traditional relatives! The cost of stamps has gone up so much that we wanted to be as frugal as possible (small budget), so we only sent about 1/4 mail-in and the rest website. Since I was designing and printing the invites myself, I was able to make two versions, so the version sent to people with website RSVPs had that info on the bottom.

Most of the invites I get these days seem to do it online, or at least include it as an option! I don’t think it’s rude at all.

Post # 10
1150 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

JJSoon2bwife14:  Not at all! Maybe its different for different areas but pretty much no one where I’m from does mailed rsvp’s anymore so you wouldn’t think twice about not receiving an rsvp card with the invite. In fact, i’ve never recieved a wedding invite with one! I think its actually more common now to use another form of rsvp so don’t stress at all, we’re not using them either 🙂

Post # 11
733 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

JJSoon2bwife14:  I don’t consider it being cheap. Here in Canada postage went up to $1 per letter. I refuse to pay that. We are only sending out invitations to those who live far away, the rest I plan to hand deliver. RSVP will be on my wedding website which also has information about the wedding. We’ll follow up with those who don’t have computer access or those we don’t hear from but I’m sure its not an issue. I think postage can really ad up when it comes to wedding expenses. Some do save the dates, the invitations, thank you cards, bridal shower invites/thank yous, bachelorette invites. Its almost like an over kill with postage haha. Times have definitely changed and more technology is being used! 

Post # 13
4892 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I am debating going this route as well, and have lots of friends do the online RSVP thing instead. it definitely does save money, and a majority of the people on our invite list use computers – so it would be easy for those who don’t (like my grandparents) to have my parents or other relatives do it for them. Plus, with having a Website as well, you can include a lot of information on there for them to look through instead of getting it all on one small enclosure card.

Post # 14
10293 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

Being cheap has nothing to do with it.  In fact, if you were a real etiquette stickler you don’t send RSVP cards at all, because you assume your guests are considerate enough to reply to an invitation on their own personal stationery without the crutch, the deadline, or the reminder, just an R.S.V.P.  

But in the real world people are not exactly that informed, so a lot of people feel they have no choice but to solicit replies.  I think an invitation should match the formality of the event, but because RSVP cards are not technically proper in any case, really any way people respond to you should be acceptable.  As a guest, however, it’s considered nicest to  write out a response in the style of the invitation. 

Post # 15
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

JJSoon2bwife14:  We are doing website RSVPs as well and I didnt even think for a second about it being cheap or otherwise. People nowadays have so much going on and everyone is pretty technically saavy (or at the very least can get on the internet) so we felt it would be extremely convenient for them and for us! 

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