(Closed) Am I being completely unreasonable?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
28 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I have not idea what a course is, but I get the idea of him basically leaving the country with friends and having little to no care about your feeling. I would be pissed.

Post # 4
Member
2077 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I agree with @iansmom.  I’m not sure what a PADI course is, but I would be upset too.  Especially because he kept assuring you he was going away for that specific reason, not to vacation.

It’s pretty inconsiderate if you ask me.  I would be asking him as soon as he got back why he wanted to keep the whole thing a secret.  I mean, traveling to another country is a pretty big deal.

Post # 5
Member
524 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I completely agree with the previous 2 posters in saying that you’re not being unreasonable at all. You were fine with him going on a course, but he specifically lied to you by omission–or at the very least misled you–into thinking it was just a small trip. It also kind of looks like he purposely left you out since you wanted to do it with him and he got a “great deal”. Now, he probably didn’t mean to leave you out, and maybe didn’t mean to lie to you, either, but you definitely have a lot to talk with him about. In any case, I hope you get everything worked out–I would be upset too, but would hope my boyfriend had a good reason for not telling me the full truth (or at least he forgot…?). 

Post # 6
Member
11233 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

PADI is scuba diving certification.

Wow, so he pretty much lied to you about it, that’s nice. I’d be really pissed if my Fiance did something that we wanted to do together, especially if he skirted around telling me that he was leaving the country to go do it. You have every right to be upset.

Post # 7
Member
1470 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Im confused but I do think that him not telling you he was leaving the country says a lot!!! 

Why would he not tell you he was leaving the country???  thats sneeky

Post # 8
Member
4272 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Future Mrs K:  He probably wanted to be alone with his friends.

Post # 9
Member
890 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

That is not ok. You have every right to be upset, angry and pissed. He is in another COUNTRY and he didn’t tell you?! I would be so livid. You seem very calm tho, which is a good thing, so i def admire you that way.

Post # 10
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

You have every right to be upset, when you two are together again you should express your feelings towards what happened. Also try to hear him out. Communication is very important to a strong, ever lasting relationship.

Post # 11
Member
1575 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Nope, you are not over-reacting at all. He deliberately mislead you or at the very least omitted pertinent info. Not good. You have my sympathies.

Post # 12
Member
2651 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Nope. I’d be pissed.  

Post # 13
Member
4518 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

It’s weird that he didn’t just tell you where he was going exactly… right? Why wouldn’t he have said, “Wow, the course this weekend is in XXX country and I’m psyched!” I don’t like that he hid that from you. Not nice. Kind of deceitful, in fact. I’d be upset, too. 

Post # 14
Member
597 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@ladyartichoke:    The only reason I maybe would slap you in the face is because your not angry enough about it. I kid of course because I admire your calm, rational attitude. 

However, if he wanted to do it with some buddies he should have been up front and 100% honest with you, he KNEW something was wrong with what he was doing but he did it anyway. I’d have a serious discussion with him when he gets back because if he’s going to spend that much money on something for him he should tell you exactly what its for. 

Best of luck! 

Post # 16
Member
524 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Well I really hope everything goes well when he gets back–I’m glad it’s probably just a communication problem and not anything more serious (him lying to you to hide something, etc.). Good luck!

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