Post # 1
I’m having a little internal battle with myself. Waiting has become increasingly difficult as we get closer to holiday season and the end of the year. A little background…SO and I have been together about 4.5 years, have lived together 1.5 years and moved into our own house at the beginning of this summer. We had our timeline talk back at the beginning of March, where we ended up compromising to be engaged by the end of this year. SO was adament that he wants a traditional proposal and for me to stop bringing it up – I kept my word on this and I think I may have slipped up twice since March (mentioning marriage or related). Here’s my dilemma – SO is stubborn and I believe only started saving for a ring around the end of August. He was clear on the fact that I didn’t want him spending over 1k on the ring since we have my grandmother’s diamonds to use. Basically I’m concerned that I don’t think he realizes that a custom ring can take several weeks to put together and size and that time frame doesn’t improve with the busy holiday season approaching. I’m wondering if I should bring it up that he seems to be cutting it a little close in terms of the amount of time and I don’t think he realizes the 3-6 week turn around time this process has.
**I am aware that he hasn’t gone to the jewelry store because it is owned by a family friend, additionally my mom is currently storing the diamonds we’ll be using and she actually called to ask why he hasn’t come to get them.
So I guess I’d like you’re opinions as to whether or not I should bring this up to him or just keep mum about it and see what happens?
Post # 2
You have a deadline – the end of the year. Just wait.
Post # 4
why did your mom call you and not him? She should call him about the diamonds and can mention the timeline it takes then. That leaves you completely out of it.
Post # 5
Just let him do it. He’s a big boy.
Post # 6
I think you’re being unintentionally controlling. It’s so close to the end of the year, just wait it out. Just do your best and try to trust that he will get things done on time, and if it gets past your deadline then have a discussion. step away from talking about the ring and wedding to the people that know anything about the situation, and keep yourself busy for the next little bit
Post # 7
I think it’s a little controlling. Do you trust him? Is he a capable person? There’s still time left and unless you’ve talked specifically about what to do with the ring, I don’t think you can be fully sure of what he’s planning. Guys can surprise you. Agreed with PP about your mom calling you.. she should be calling him! I’m sure he’ll figure it all out. Try not to stress.
Post # 8
Definitely do not bring it up. The ball is in his court now. Keep your promise by keeping silent.
Post # 9
Let him do it. Either he’ll stick to his word, or he won’t. Let him show you. If the deadline passes, then you can decide if you want to have to badger someone to propose to you. But wait it out.
Post # 10
Yeah you’re being controlling. Trust him on this and wait and see what happens. I know , easier said than done but if I was him I’d be annoyed with you breathing down my back. The proposal isn’t just about you.
Post # 11
Relax, he can handle it himself. Controlling.
Post # 12
my mom called because she was concerned that she hadn’t heard from him yet and she is aware of the time frame we had discussed as well as how long making the ring can take. She was asking if we had changed our plans and that was why he hadn’t gotten the ball rolling yet…super unhelpful since I’ve been doing OK with keeping busy and generally just putting it to the back of my mind for the past few months and this put me into a bit control freak mode. I definitely trust SO , I was thinking more that he doesn’t realize the amount of time it will take
Post # 13
Well, the “traditional” part is out the window since you planned it together, but whatever. I’d be surprised if he actually had a ring for you at the end of the year.
Post # 14
I know it’s tough, but try to wait it out. Worst case scenario is he doesn’t understand the turnaround time and you get engaged a few weeks later. I know it’s hard to keep the excitement and anxiety in check, but are those few weeks really worth extra stess on your relationship? Try to relax and let him handle it.
Post # 15
I just want to say that you sound EXACTLY how I would be in this situation, and I admit I am super controlling… its hard! But honestly, how do you think he’s going to react if you bring it up? It’s not gonna go well.. hes gonna be annoyed. The last thing you want right now if him having any negative thoughts associated with him proposing.
I reallllly think you shouldn’t say anything until after the timeline deadline and if he still hasnt proposed THEN bring it up. If you guys agreed that your timeline was till the end of the year then you owe it to him to respect that. Good luck!