Post # 1
Hi bees! So…I did something last night in an attempt to be thoughtful and considerate, but it may have come across as a little too controlling – I told my SO a specific date that he CANNOT propose to me on. lol
Okay, the explanation: SO and I have been incredibly open about the engagement process (picked out the ring together, discussed the finances to afford it, have already begun looking at wedding stuff together – including the Bee! lol) he’s told me it will happen by the end of March for sure. Also, we’re LDR so we only see each other on the weekends, so basically in the next four weekends we will be engaged!
Okay, last night I told him it’s a no go for a proposal of any kind on March 13 because we’re attending a friend’s wedding that night. She’s a friend of his and her family and his family are very close (his family is attending the wedding also) and I know if he proposed to me that day or the day before I’d be bursting at the seams wanting to scream it from the mountaintop and I’d be wearing a big sparkly on my finger which would bring questions; also his father has a HUGE mouth and I know he’d be telling anyone within ear’s shot of our engagement.
So…I asked/told SO not to do it that day because I in no way want to steal the bride’s thunder – it’s her day!
So what’s the verdict? Controlling or thoughtful?
Post # 3
Um YEAH! No, I totally agree!! One of my girl friends had her 30th bday party and her friend showed up engaged… it totally ruined it. Not only did she feel like crap, but everyone else took their focus off of the bday party and on to the congrats.
Post # 4
Oh you’re OK. I see what you’re saying, but since you’ve already been discussing it and looking at stuff, I don’t think you’re just making assumptions, and putting any pressure on him.
Post # 5
Pretty sure it’s just common sense to not steal sombody’s thunder, especially on their wedding day. You are totally right for saying that. Plus, you’d be also stealing your own thunder, having to keep your happiness and emotions in check for the sake of your friend.
Post # 6
I think its thoughtful of you. You’re definitely right to do that. I’d be really upset if I were the bride and people were congratulating someone else at my wedding!
Post # 7
Totally thoughtful. I think some men (my FI) don’t understand how even the most level-headed girl can get a little crazy about weddings and engagements. Last year when Fiance didn’t have my ring ready for my birthday, I told him to wait until after my BF’s wedding.
BUT, he then waited until I graduated from law school. It was an awesome day, but plenty of people didn’t know I was engaged until I changed my FB status like a month ago (not that into FB).
Post # 8
Well since i don’t see how that could be construed as controlling, i’m going to go with thoughtful.
Post # 9
Thoughtful. With situations like that, it’s always better to put it out there. I did that with V Day – I didn’t want a Valentine’s proposal, which he knew but I reaffirmed anyway.
Post # 10
Thoughtful! I had a friend that INSISTED her boyfriend propose to her on a particular day, even though they attended his friend’s wedding that morning. And no, it wasn’t their anniversary or her birthday or any significant day…to be honest, I really don’t know what her point was!
Post # 11
I think it’s fine, you’d think he’d know not to do it then anyway (that this would be an awkward day to do it) but with guys you never know.
Post # 12
Definitely thoughtful. Just make sure he knows your reasoning and isn’t thinking something like “Oh, she must think it’s unlucky to get engaged on the 13th!” That might seem a little controlling, haha.
Post # 13
Thoughtful!. You are telling him NO but for damn good reasons! Did he understand when you explained about stealing the bride’s thunder?
Also it’s ok to want your engagement day to be very special =]
Post # 14
Thoughtful. Very few guys would think about that…
Post # 15
I think its thoughtful or rather it is considerate
Post # 16
I voted thoughtful..I wouldnt want anyone doing that to me soo yea..thats why I voted the way I did 🙂