(Closed) Am I being controlling or thoughtful?

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Am I being controlling or thoughtful?
    Thoughtful : (57 votes)
    88 %
    Controlling : (4 votes)
    6 %
    Something else - see comment! : (4 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    454 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Um YEAH!  No, I totally  agree!!  One of my girl friends had her 30th bday party and her friend showed up engaged… it totally ruined it.  Not only did she feel like crap, but everyone else took their focus off of the bday party and on to the congrats.

    Post # 4
    Member
    2641 posts
    Sugar bee

    Oh you’re OK.  I see what you’re saying, but since you’ve already been discussing it and looking at stuff, I don’t think you’re just making assumptions, and putting any pressure on him.

    Post # 5
    Member
    1830 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    Pretty sure it’s just common sense to not steal sombody’s thunder, especially on their wedding day. You are totally right for saying that. Plus, you’d be also stealing your own thunder, having to keep your happiness and emotions in check for the sake of your friend.

    Post # 6
    Member
    4001 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I think its thoughtful of you.  You’re definitely right to do that.  I’d be really upset if I were the bride and people were congratulating someone else at my wedding!

    Post # 7
    Member
    2208 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Totally thoughtful. I think some men (my FI) don’t understand how even the most level-headed girl can get a little crazy about weddings and engagements. Last year when Fiance didn’t have my ring ready for my birthday, I told him to wait until after my BF’s wedding.

    BUT, he then waited until I graduated from law school. It was an awesome day, but plenty of people didn’t know I was engaged until I changed my FB status like a month ago (not that into FB).

    Post # 8
    Member
    186 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Well since i don’t see how that could be construed as controlling, i’m going to go with thoughtful.

    Post # 9
    Member
    5263 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Thoughtful. With situations like that, it’s always better to put it out there. I did that with V Day – I didn’t want a Valentine’s proposal, which he knew but I reaffirmed anyway. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    170 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Thoughtful! I had a friend that INSISTED her boyfriend propose to her on a particular day, even though they attended his friend’s wedding that morning. And no, it wasn’t their anniversary or her birthday or any significant day…to be honest, I really don’t know what her point was!

    Post # 11
    Member
    806 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I think it’s fine, you’d think he’d know not to do it then anyway (that this would be an awkward day to do it) but with guys you never know.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2280 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    Definitely thoughtful. Just make sure he knows your reasoning and isn’t thinking something like “Oh, she must think it’s unlucky to get engaged on the 13th!” That might seem a little controlling, haha.

    Post # 13
    Member
    14186 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    Thoughtful!. You are telling him NO but for damn good reasons! Did he understand when you explained about stealing the bride’s thunder?

    Also it’s ok to want your engagement day to be very special =]

    Post # 14
    Member
    751 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    Thoughtful.  Very few guys would think about that…

    Post # 15
    Member
    2532 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I think its thoughtful or rather it is considerate

    Post # 16
    Member
    603 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I voted thoughtful..I wouldnt want anyone doing that to me soo yea..thats why I voted the way I did 🙂

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