- 7 years ago
- Wedding: August 2011
So my FI is moving into his own apmt at the beginning of August. Up until now he’s lived in a fully furnished apmt with a couple of friends, so he’s excited to go out on his own. When we get married, I’m going to be moving in with him (we’re currently in a LDR).
Since he began thinking about moving, we’ve been talking about how we’re going to furnish ‘our’ place… the couch, the bed, the lamps, etc. We hadn’t actually bought anything, or even made any decisions on what we’d like, but I really felt like he was taking my thoughts into consideration (which made sense, b/c of the two of us I’m the one with any ‘artistic sense’ whatsoever).
Fast forward to yesterday. He finds out that his grandma is moving into a retirement home, and has offered to give him anything he wants from her place. He went there yesterday with his family (I was at work, so couldn’t come) to scout out what he would take. That evening, he was really excited and told me that he basically has everything to furnish his place with. A couch, bed, bedside tables, dressers, shelves, pots, pans, plates, lamps, etc. etc.
So I’m conflicted. On one hand, I’m so happy that he has a ton of good quality stuff, and he doesn’t have to spend thousands of dollars on new furniture (we’re both students, so we don’t have ‘that’ much money). It’s obviously good quality stuff, and some of it has sentimental meaning (which, of course, I’m thrilled about).
On the other hand, deep down I feel so sad that this experience has been taken away from me/us. It meant a lot to me to help him furnish his/our place, and to pick out things that I felt would suit us as a couple. I’m afraid that most of the furniture will be much to big (he’s taking it from a relatively large house to a ~700 sqft apmt). And… well, it’s all old stuff!! No chance of having a nice modern feel, when your couch has tacky flowers on it (it does), and all the furniture is large heavy wood. And the kitchen stuff bugs me the most, since I already have so many things of my own to bring, so I feel sort of displaced, and I was really hoping to put some nice china on our registry.
Am I being crazy? I told him I’m very happy about everything, but he knows it bugs me a little. I just need someone to set me straight… or tell me that I have a right to feel this way. Help!!