(Closed) Am I being crazy?

posted 7 years ago in Home
Post # 3
Member
5904 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

you’ll still need accent pieces- i’d be pretty thrilled if a bunch of free furniture came my way…it adds up quickly!

Post # 4
Member
1106 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I completely understand what you’re saying. It’s hard not being able to get brand new stuff right away. What if you replaced things piece by piece? That way you can see if there is maybe something that you do like and go from there? Then you guys can still pick everything out together, and do a little bit at a time.

It’s nice that he has all of that knocked out, but I can also see where you’re coming from. Hang in there!

Post # 5
Member
1418 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I totally get you and do not think you are crazy!  However, since it is an apartment and you both don’t have a lot of extra money to spend on brand new things, I think this is great for now!  Then in a few years (or whenever it happens for you) when you decide to buy a house or move into a larger space, you can decorate it with what you want – as a couple – when your financial situation is a bit more stable (i.e. after graduation and you have full-time employment).  It sucks for now, but I think it will be better for you two financially.  You can still bring your own stuff to the new place, but depending on space and what you already have, you may just have to put some in storage for now.  I think it will all work out for you 🙂  Good luck!

Post # 6
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

It seems like a great way for him to have everything for now. You can always sell or donate what he gets when you get married, and for now you can save the money.  I’d be thrilled!

Post # 7
Member
1111 posts
Bumble bee

Our house came with everything.  It was really nice not having to buy new stuff, what with me being in school, and BF having enough to cover the house…

His mom and sister flipped out that we were taking the stuff from the sellers, and how we wouldn’t be able to decorate it ourselves, and blah blah blah… I said to her that I can ask for pots and pans when BF and I get married, for now, I’m not going to turn down perfectly good stuff.  

Not having to spend money on furniture and appliances has left us with money to take care of other things, like getting new windows (if the people ever call us back… grrr)

There’s still plenty of time to redecorate after you get settled, and you can always ask for upgrades on registries.  You’d still be starting out “on your own”, with your fresh start, and what better way to celebrate with all new things?

At least that’s how I see it, but BF’s mom tells me that weddings are for silver and crystal. 🙁  

Post # 8
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I understand what you mean, everybody wants to feel like their place was their creation and they designed it themselves rather than having a bunch of hand me downs. But at the same time, you are both incredibly lucky to have the opportunity to get so many free pieces from his grandma. When my fiance and I first moved out we had about 75% of our furniture that was given to us by his parents and it was handed down to them from his grandparents so we had those ugly brown floral print couches too lol. I just bought slipcovers for them and they looked like new 🙂 I think if you slowly replace things over time it would be easier for you guys, rather than just getting rid of everything she gave you at once.

I think it would probably be best to stay quiet on this subject for a while, as I know from experience that trying to rid yourself of grandmas stuff too quickly can cause some arguments lol. I think it should be totally fine for you to replace kitchen things though with ones you already own and you can register for whatever you want too! You aren’t required to keep everything she gives you, just hold on to it for a while so she knows it was appreciated and then slowly you can start to build your own style with different pieces. You guys can still have that experience of shopping for home things together, go out and buy bedlinens, pillows, paintings, towels, the little things that can make a huge impact in a room and then it will feel more like home to you too 🙂

Good luck!

Post # 9
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I think that all first apartements started with donations and gifts from family and friends. what you can do to make it your own, go and get really nice bed linens, night stand light to make it your own. and because you don’t have to spend extre money beaucse now you have all this free stuff you could either place it for the wedding, to eventually put it into buying more expensive furniture, and or to accessesories like crazy…. maybe even a little vacation …

i mean this is probably going to turn out to be a great thing

Post # 10
Member
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

I understand your frustration, but you need to calm down.  First, you admittedly don’t have money to spend on furnishing a whole home right off the bat – this way you at least have things to entertain and use until you do get the funds.  Secondly, you should live in a space before buying to figure out what you want and don’t want in a design for a piece – what shape of couch, what type of curtains etc.  You will need to eventually replace things and can do so over time – no one expects you to move in and furnish the perfect home right away.  Chillax!

Post # 12
Member
2375 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I dont’ think you’re crazy at all.  I think it’s natural to want to decorate your place with your stuff.  You can certainly get rid of the stuff/sell it once you guys move in together, but for now, it sounds like a great deal.  I mean, think of all the money you are saving (more $$$ for the wedding 🙂  Not to mention you can turn that stuff into yours, i.e. revamp/redecorate.  I’m ALWAYS at Goodwill looking for treasures to turn into my own. 

Post # 13
Member
4123 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I totally understand! Buying new furniture is really expensive though (even through ikea, etc…) and honestly, as 2 students, there’s probably no way you could get everything you need on your budgets… 

Pots/pans/lamps/plates/bedding etc… you will register for, and hopefully receive for your wedding. When you do, out with the old, in with the new you picked out together!

Are the furniture pieces solid wood? sand them down and paint them black or white (or any other color!) I have a few old “traditional” pieces that were handed to me through my family. I repainted them, replaced the brassy knobs with modern ones and now they look modern!

There’s so much you can do with old, good furniture! It makes me sad that most stuff these days is particle wood, etc. You really can’t beat those old pieces!  Check out younghouselove.com for ways you can make over really cheap bargain finds and “trash.” 

🙂

Post # 14
Member
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

I totally get where you’re coming from–when we bought our first home, almost everything came from his family and then the rest from Craig’s List.  And it’s kind of a bummer that none of our furniture matches and isn’t “ours” but we’re both grad students and just bought a house, so it’s not like we have a lot of extra money.  I know that some people can buy a new place and then go buy all the furniture to put in it (getting only what they want in the process)–but we are not those people.  We’ve been in our new home for a year, and we’ve bought a new bed and we’ve bought bar stools–really nice pieces that are high quality, and PERFECT for us.  We couldn’t afford to do much more than that this year because of the wedding, but now that the wedding is over, we’re looking forward to continuing our furniture buying.  So, this is all a long way of saying, I don’t think you really want to buy all new furniture right away–it’s crazy expensive and you’ve got a wedding coming up!  It’s fun to spend multiple weekends combing stores for exactly the right thing and then decide together that it’s the perfect piece.  Enjoy it!  Relish it!  And in the meantime, your FI has furniture to live in that he didn’t have to pay for.  Awesome!

Post # 15
Member
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I kinda feel like this is temporary stuff.  I mean, why should he go out an buy all new kitchen stuff now when it’s been offered to him?  My way of thinking is, he uses what he’s been given now and you guys register for the stuff you really want later?  Why pay for brand new stuff now?  And as for the furniture, yes it may not be your taste, but that doesn’t mean you can’t use it until you find something you like better or can afford what you really want. 

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