(Closed) Am I being horrible?! And When did you stop traveling long distances?

posted 5 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
2183 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium

It’s a lot on your body to be in the car that long in one day. At 33 weeks, I was in the car for 8 hours in one day. It was a similar situation– DH’s cousin’s baby’s baptism. It was four hours away, and we went for the lunch after. It was important to my husband, so we went. 

I won’t say it was torture, but we definitely stopped so I could stretch. 

Your question, though, seems to be is it okay to skip the party because you have so much to do. …I say yes because we just moved and have a whole lot of unpacking to do– plus, we need us time, as that time is quickly dwindling. You have to do what’s best for your family, regardless of how others react. And really, they should be more understanding. 

Post # 4
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

In this situation I would make the trip or send Darling Husband to the party on his own, but I have seen on recent threads that I am much more liberal than a lot of pregnant bees. I pretty much kept doing things or “playing things by ear’ up until the end. You guys have already said you weren’t going though so I would send a gift to the house and be done with it.


Post # 5
7647 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@emersynsmommy35: I wouldn’t go. You have a lot to do, and although travelling that far at 34 weeks is doable, I wouldn’t want to feel that uncomfortable for that long. Sounds like they will have a lot of people there anyway.

Post # 6
413 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I travelled last week at 37 weeks (4.5hrs) but that was by train where I could get up and walk around and with a couple nights sleep between. And it was for something that I was really looking forward to and couldn’t re-schedule (plus an income source).

I personally would find it incredibly uncomfortable to travel that long by car especially if it’s all in one day. I’d send a generous present, make my regrets and say that you’re just not feeling up for it. If someone questions a very pregnant lady’s health/exhaustion levels then they’re not so nice as people.

Post # 7
2195 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Well, we are 37 weeks and a couple days and we’re still going out and about lots. We’re meeting up with friends tomorrow for dinner and a movie that live just over an hour away, and plan to do the same next weekend as long as I’m still feeling up to it. I haven’t liked “restricting” where I can go and when just based on how far along I am, I usualyl play it by ear and see how i’m feeling and do my best. I’ve gone to a couple friends bdays for their LO’s lately and just stay as long as I can and that’s that. If i’m not feeling up to it, I politely tell them it’s just not in the cards and send a gift or drop one off in the days to follow.

In saying that, I probably wouldn’t want to drive 6 hours total in one day for a birthday party .They have LOTS of people coming, so i’m guessing your interations with them one on one will be pretty small. Yes, Darling Husband is the god parent and that’s a big deal, but… 6 hours is a lot for anyone, nevermind when (that) pregnant. 🙂

Honestly, If you’d be up for making it a 2 day process I’d try that. You still have plenty of time and I’d say the chance of you going into labour is fairly small.. but, I guess you never know. If they were actually upset by you guys not being there I’d do the 3 hour drive, stay for the party and then head home early the next morning to get your to do list started again. Alternatively, I’d send my husband if he wanted to go and be there and just do what I could at home solo.

Ultimately, its’ your decision. If you’re not comfortable going – don’t. You shouldn’t have to justify it to them… being 8.5 months pregnant and sitting in a car for 6+ hours sounds less than ideal to me (personally) but if it was going to cause a huge family issue I’d probably just do my best to go.

Post # 8
2945 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

With four weeks left, and three hours away, they are still giving you and Darling Husband a hard time about traveling.  What if something happens to you?  4 weeks is not a time to be three hours away from your hospital/doctor/ect.  I’m sure your doctor will say the same thing.  Espeically with a planned C section. 

Post # 10
9691 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Don’t go.  Tell her that your doctor suggested you limit travel to 30 min away and that you have too much to get done before the birth.

Post # 11
524 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

They invited 100 people to their daughter’s first birthday party?!  I just….wow.

You’re very pregnant and it’s a long trip, so I say decline.  However, if your husband is able to go (to make things less tense with the family), I think he should.  But if he can’t, he can’t.  People will get over it.  And with 70 guests who have RSVP’d yes, it’s not like everyone will be looking around and demanding to know where you guys are.

Post # 12
1652 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@emersynsmommy35: you are being sensible – don’t go. you are so close to birth now honey, you need to be at home preparing and resting. how mean of them to try and make you feel guilty! this is about you and your health xx

Post # 13
1531 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@emersynsmommy35:  Dont go and blame it on the doctor.  My Darling Husband and I were in the same situation last month (except for I am not pregnant).  We drove over 3 hours 1 way for our nephews 1st birthday (my Darling Husband is his godfather).  Now they only had about 40 people at the party…and we barely spent any time with our nephew or his parents during the party.  They were so busy talking to everyone else. The only reason the trip was worth it was because we made a weekend out of it – where we actually got some quality time with my SIL and nephew.

Post # 14
498 posts
Helper bee

No way would I go. My one hour commute was even  too much for me at the end of my pregnancy (it could stretch to almost an hour and a half). I would not feel bad about not going and would not let them get to me with their comments.

Post # 15
1285 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I wouldn’t go, but I wouldn’t have said “because I have too much to do prior to the baby”. I would have said something about prior engagements or doctor limiting me. I think you are getting a lot of flack for the reason you aren’t going rather than simply not going. From your original post, they gave you an out but you didn’t take it. Also, they are going to have 70 people attending, will they really notice if you aren’t there? I’m not sure how easy it will be to back peddle and blame the doctor now, but you should give it a try.

Post # 16
283 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

My doctor told me to stay within an hour of home for the last month, so I would say you are perfectly fine staying home, however I would probably let Darling Husband go if he wanted to bc if you would happen to go into labor, he could come back home.

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