(Closed) Am I Being Insensitive?

posted 10 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
2394 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I don’t think you’re being insensitive at all.  You happen to be happy with your personal life.  A probably has the sense to know that this doesn’t entail glee over her breakup or somthing equally crazy.  There’s a difference between taking others’ feelings into account and being held responsible for their interior lives.  

And you sound like a really good friend, what with the cookies.  Now, tequila would make you a great friend, but perhaps she’s not at that point yet?

Post # 4
2467 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

sending her cookies and taking the time to talk with her while she’s going through hard times definitely means more than a gchat status, and definitely makes you a good, very thoughtful friend! i wouldn’t worry about it too much, it sounds like your other friend is making a bigger deal out of it than is necessary.

Post # 5
151 posts
Blushing bee

No, you shouldn’t feel bad about good things in your life just because she is having a rough time! If you feeling like you life is in a good place, then you should have every right to say so. The friend going through bad times probably didn’t think anything of it. If she is your friend she is probably just happy that you are happy, and when the time comes, and she is in a happy place, ready to get married, I’m sure you will be happy for her too! Don’t worry about it!

Post # 6
1565 posts
Bumble bee

If I were your friend, I would be a bit upset. I’m not saying it’s rational to be upset (clearly your status isn’t directed to her or meant to rub it in that you’re happy and she’s not). But when people are upset, they are irrational, so she might be upset by it anyway. When people go through low points in their lives, they usually compare themselves to friends and think about how much worse off they are, and your status would only intensify those feelings.

Post # 7
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I don’t think so. 

Post # 8
6571 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

no, you’re allowed to be happy! you said something general about your life, it’s not like you said, “i’m so happy, sucks for you people who don’t have an awesome relationship like me!”

Post # 9
577 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

um, no.  I think this is a case of people being hyper-sensitive.

Post # 11
2006 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m werid. When I’m in a bad mood/upset I LIKE seeing other people’s status’ being something positive/happy. It puts me in perspective and brings my mood up.

But if I see you in person and I’m in a bad mood and you in a good one you better bet I want to drag you into my crankyness 😉

Post # 13
2214 posts
Buzzing bee

You’re definitely not be insensitive.  I wouldn’t think anything of it.

Post # 14
226 posts
Helper bee

This would not even cross my mind. You can’t always censor your own happiness. Why are we only allowed to be open about the bad times in our lives? There is a line between being supportive and being hyper-sensitive. Everyone else’s world cannot stop because a single person is having a hard time. It’s not like you’re ignoring her and/or rubbing things in her face. You took the time to talk to her and give her support. A status message shouldn’t be that big of a deal.

Post # 15
5262 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

You’re not insensitive. I think if anyone expects others’ statuses to revolve around them, it’s just self-centered. Could you imagine if your status was something wedding related -i.e., “will be Mrs. ___ tomorrow!” and you got mad that friend put they were going through a hard time? It would be equally ridiculous. 

Post # 16
1897 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

So my sister is like this—she hates seeing “happy” anything status.  I am happy as heck and proud of it.  I don’t rub anything in anyone’s face, but I sure won’t hide my happiness.  I say just shake it off. 

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