(Closed) Am I being invited just for a gift

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
283 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Are you invited to the wedding as well?

ETA: I misread. Knowing that it is a baby shower, I would decline. It’s an informal invite, and it does sound “grabby”.

Post # 3
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

It sounds like you don’t actually have a relationship with these people, so what reason would you have for attending? I would definitely decline.

Post # 4
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Facebook invite does not count as a real invite.  NO GIFT FOR YOU!

Post # 5
3943 posts
Honey bee

I agree. facebook invites (especially to 100 people) are not real shower invites.

Post # 6
1501 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Sounds like they are just inviting anyone they have ever known. I’d decline the invite and don’t feel obliged to send a gift.

Post # 7
1285 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Facebook invite? I would decline, but I would send them a congratulatory card when the baby is born.

Post # 10
3482 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

100 people invited to a baby shower? Dear god, if that’s a gift grab I don’t know what is.

They can’t be expecting all these people to actually come. They must just be hoping the people they’re not as close to will just decline and send gifts. I have no idea what I would do if I was pregnant and 100 people came to my shower. Probably run and hide.

Post # 11
116 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

If you want to go, then you should. But don’t turn up with a gift, as it does sound like that’s all they’re after x

Post # 12
3142 posts
Sugar bee


Lol @ no gift for you..totally read in a “soup nazi’ voice

Post # 13
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

It doesn’t feel gift grabby – it just feel super impersonal and they just want a big ol’ shower.


Post # 14
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Like most mass-invitations I receive on FB, I’d probably just ignore this one and not even respond.  A FB invite to something so important is crap, IMO. This is kind of like a free for all, not personal at all.  Don’t even acknowledge you got the invite!

Post # 15
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

For the record, a girl I don’t even know, but is a friend of my step-son, invited EVERYONE on her friend’s list to her engagement party.  Or some sort of party revolving around the wedding.

It’s possible that he did the same thing.  Maybe.

Either way, if you don’t want to go… don’t.  There’s no rule or law saying you have to go.

Also… I always thought the baby shower was BEFORE the baby came… I know some people do it after, but… ummmm… still.  I’m usually a bit more wary with the “afters” because of the quesion “did they have one before and just didn’t invite me and this is just a way to get more stuff they don’t want to buy?”

of course, i’m also cynical and question people I don’t know… 😉


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