(READ THIS FIRST) …….
I may get some hate for this, and I’m sorry, but I know how this feels and I want to give you a really honest and truthful opinion, and not tell you happy things just because it will feel better. I think it will ultimately help you feel better based on (possibly) a different viewpoint, but it may be something to seriously think about also. I’m going to give you my answer based on what I would want to hear if I were you, which is the truth. If I were you, I wouldn’t be here just to have strangers say I’m so beautiful when they don’t have any idea what I look like. I’d want a truthful and un-emotional point of view. If you’re NOT here to hear the truth, and only want pure support despite anything else, then don’t continue reading because it won’t be what you’re seeking.
(READ THIS SECOND) …….
I think it depends not only on how you feel, but on how much money you would lose, how many people are coming, and how many have bought plane tickets… also, how long you would be willing to post-pone. Hypothyroidism isn’t an easy thing to overcome. My mom has it, and I might even have it (I haven’t been tested). Realistically, it’ll probably be more challenging to lose all the weight you want and may take longer for you than someone who doesn’t have hypothyroidism. So if it takes a person without it a year, it might take you 18 months or two years with the same effort.
Most likely I’d say no, do not post-pone, because your fiance loves you regardless, and he is who you’re marrying, and it probably wouldn’t be worth losing the money that you’ve invested, especially if you think you can change your frame of mind.
However… The wedding day is most important to YOU and your FIANCE. NOT everyone else. They come to SHARE YOUR DAY. If it’s going to be something you regret forever, and wouldn’t lose a lot of money to post-pone, and it wouldn’t inconvenience a lot of people (everyone lives close), it could be a consideration. In other words, consider them, but don’t base your decision on everyone else. Just you and your fiance.
But I know it is. I was 170lbs and lost 60lbs, and it was very hard and took a long time and a lot of sacrificing and research, but I’m very happy that I did it before I got engaged and stuff, because when I saw myself in pictures I wanted to cry. I felt fat and gross and I hid from every photo, and if I had to remember my wedding day like that, it would crush me. People told me I was “fine,” which wasn’t true because I’m like 5’5 and I really was technically, medically obese. I carried it fairly evenly, but still. There was no denying it.
But most importantly I hated how I looked. People told me I wasn’t fat, I looked fine, I was very pretty, etc… but it didn’t matter, I looked in the mirror and decided MY opinion on beauty. I looked at myself in the same way I’d look at any random stranger and judged their EXTERNAL attractiveness. Were they pretty looking? Yes, no, why? why not? And then held myself to the same standards.
I didn’t care what anyone else (even my then-boyfriend, who thought I looked fine) thought. I didn’t buy into the “I’m beautiful because I’m beautiful” thing. To me there’s inner beauty, and there’s external beauty. I felt I had inner beauty, but I let myself go and no longer had external beauty based on MY STANDARDS. NOT anyone else’s. Eventually, I stopped lying to myself and convincing myself that I looked okay, because I knew those weren’t my true feelings. Plus, it was extremely unhealthy, raised my risks for several afflictions, my self-esteem suffered, and I knew the longer I waited to deal with it, the longer I’d regret it. I PERSONALLY was not happy about it. I stopped living in denial and accepted that I wasn’t happy with myself and vowed to make changes.
I see it as a preference. Some people are happy about how they look, and some people are not. DO NOT let judgements, society, and media affect YOUR opinion on yourself. You can judge beauty, and everyone’s standards and opnions of beauty are different. But also, don’t let someone convince you that YOUR opinion of beauty is wrong. It’s not. It’s your opinion! That does not matter whatsoever. Look at yourself and judge how you feel about your external beauty. But keep in mind, you WILL BE BEAUTIFUL on your wedding day, even to you. Maybe not AS beautiful as you want, but you will compare yourself to how you look every other day. You will have your hair and makeup and nails done (I’m guessing), new jewelry, shoes, a gorgeous wedding gown… and everyone else will still think you are BEAUTIFUL. Because they’re looking at everyday you compared to wedding-day you. Make sense?
Like if you put me up to a supermodel, I probably wouldn’t be beautiful at all. But if you compare me in my jeans and tshirt with no makeup up to me in a wedding gown and make up and hair style, I will probably be described as beautiful. It’s all in your comparisons. Without comparisons, we’d have no way to distunguish “beauty” in the visual sense. So you have to decide what you’re comparing yourself to, and how important it is.
How much is one level of beauty versus your higher personal feeling of beauty important? You may feel more beautiful if you were thinner, all dressed up and made up, but regardless, because you will be taking steps to wear things that you do not wear, that are considered formal, you will still be looked upon as BEAUTIFUL to all your friends and family. I have no idea what you weigh or your height or how you look, so who knows, I might not agree with you. I might say you look average or thin or something, but IT DOESN’T MATTER, because YOUR opinion is the only one that matters. I’m glad you didn’t post a photo, because your opinion is the only one that counts.
Personally, I’d attempt to look at it as “I will still be beautiful to all my friends and family and fiance, and that will make me happy,” and have your wedding! Because obviously, no lie, no fluff. you will be beautiful. But if you really truly think you will regret those photos and looking that way for the rest of your life, and wish you’d tried to wait another year to lose weight, and it wouldn’t cause you a great loss of money… AND it was okay with your fiance… then it might be a consideration. Don’t let anyone convince you of your feelings. You feel how you feel. I hope I didn’t offend/upset you… it’s just a perspective I adopted and used, and it helped me, so I thought maybe it could help you in either way that you need help. I’m sorry if it didn’t and I just wasted 5 minutes of your life… O_o