- 6 years ago
Okay, you might laugh at me or think I am crazy but I am kind of seriously worried about this:
My SO has the ring in his possesion I ‘m pretty sure, a least. This means that it will be soon that he will ask. The mere thought of it just seems so unreal, so happy of a time that something bad has to happen.I don’t know if any of you are Star Wars fans but I am so this is my analogy, it’s like this is such a positive and pure happy thing that there HAS to be some sort of negative to “balance the force”. Or ying and yang kind of thing if that is more understandable.
It is too perfect, nothing like this happens to me. It sounds pessimistic but I’m more so being honest. I just have bad luck, not always but anytime there has been something that could be amazing for me it ALLLLWAYS has a downfall or something bad that happens. I just can’t accept that I get to experience this happy moment and it didn’t even happen yet. I get so exicted that my chest aches pretty intensely and my heart races like i just ran up and down 12 flights of stairs. My palms sweat and it’s just horrible lol. I am so afraid if i don’t know exactly when and where SO will propose I will die of a heart attack/cardiac arrest when he does it.
SO is my first real kiss, first boyfriend, first sexual partner, first love, first true best friend and i get to marry him?!??! he wants to be with me forever, seriously?!! it just seems like it can’t be real how can i not have to go through a break up or have an ex boyfriend how can i have found the ONE the first time….. luck is the only thing that comes to my mind and friends, i DO NOT have luck.
So what will my bad luck do to ruin this I am trying so hard not to worry about it but I’m just in disbelief and let’s be honest can you really just “forget” about your SO having a ring and asking you to marry him… i don’t think it’s possible lol
If i don’t die I’m sure I’ll pass out or involuntairly have something akin to a panic attack or even worse VOMIT!!!
am i being completely ridiculous right now?!