- 2 years ago
- Wedding: September 2020
So, my boyfriend and I have been together for 2-ish years. He lives in a small town about 1.5 hours away from my home (I suppose this is technically considered long-distance), but most of our relationship has been longER-distance. He operates heavy machinery, which often requires that he go out of state for work. (One job was 2100 mi away, one was about 1600 mi away, and his current job is about 6 hours away.) Sure, this can be tough, but there is an end in sight, and I knew what I was getting into when we started dating. (He’s THAT worth it 😀 )
So, when his work brings him home, which isn’t as often as I would like, I spend most all of my weekends travelling to see him in his hometown. I usually end up going there so that he can spend his time at home with his family (which includes a daughter). At times, when I have been travelling to see him often, I have received some… I suppose derisive is the right word… comments from friends about being away so much. My family will occasionally mention something about it, but they aren’t quite as coarse when they bring it up. My friends tend to be “brutally honest” in that they just come out and say what they’re thinking, even if it may be taken as rude. I understand this about them and accept that they are who they are. I, myself, tend to be a people pleaser, just for reference. I’ve received comments from “You’re gone every single weekend!” to “Oh, my husband said that your boyfriend must be gone again since you’re asking me to hang out now.” I can go as far as to understand that being gone every weekend (for maybe six weeks at a time) is a lot of time away, so I do my best to see friends and family on weeknights when that is happening. I know this certainly isn’t ideal, but my time with my boyfriend is so little and so precious that I try to soak up as much of it as I can. (Please note, that I never missed a bridal shower, bachelorette party, wedding dress shopping trip, wedding, baby shower, or any other noteworthy event in the time that I have known him.)
That pretty much gets you up to speed.
So, BF has been on a job since January, which means that I am in town pretty much every day of the week and weekend. I ask my friends if they would like to go to dinner, to go downtown to the farmers market, go to the dog park, the pool, all kinds of things. Still, I usually end up spending most nights at home alone with my doggo. (I don’t mind this so much, I actually love being at home alone.) But there came a point a several weeks ago where I really wanted to get out of the house and DO something (on a weekend), but everyone preferred to stay at home with their live-in boyfriends or thier husband. Okay, I get it, no big deal. Like I said, I’m pretty happy to hang out with my pup. It crossed my mind that it was a little funny that they got sassy with me about it and are, essentially, doing the same thing, but I dropped it and enjoyed my quiet weekend.
I have noticed, however, that this is a much more regular occurrence than I had noticed before. I spend just about every week/weekend at home alone (again, this is totally okay with me). I guess I am just a little frustrated with the hypocisy of it all. I get chastised for spending my weekends out of town when I can, but when I’m in town (which is the overwhelming majority of the time) most attempts I make to see them end in, “No thanks, husband/boyfriend and I are just going to stay in and be lazy tonight.” I’ll level set with you – I’m an adult; I don’t feel the need to be entertained, kept busy, or even kept company, nor do I expect any of this from my friends or family. I just get a little bit resentful that, when it’s my turn to see my boyfriend (who I don’t have the option to come home to every day – yet) I am labelled as “unavailable.”
Perhaps I am being sensitive. Perhaps I’m reading into things too much. I figured I’d just throw my feelings out there for a temperature check and see what was said. Sorry for the novel! I hope you bees had a great start to your weeks!