(Closed) Am I being irrational to want FI with me the day after wedding???

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Am I in the right?
    Definitely : (72 votes)
    73 %
    Sort of (please explain) : (10 votes)
    10 %
    No : (17 votes)
    17 %
  • Post # 17
    2639 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

    Remember that feeling you had the first morning after he proposed? When you woke up and remembered- “hey! I’m engaged!” Well it’s a million times better when you’re married.

    I loved it- “Good morning Mr. H!” “Good Morning Mrs. H!” Seeing that ring on his hand. While we were getting ready for brunch, we recapped some of our favorite things about the night, it was a very intimate morning- and I don’t mean physically, I mean emotionally, like pharmy said.

    Two other things I don’t like about your situation- is he going to be okay with getting up at 6:30 after a LONG party day/working on 4-5 hours sleep? (Are you looking to do an after party, etc.)  Second- is he going to be packed and ready to leave for the honeymoon the day before? We ended up packing for the honeymoon the next day- with all the last minute things the week of, it just got pushed back.

    I would have had a lot of issues with DH wanting to work that next day, too.

    Post # 18
    4173 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2018

    Welcome to Comprimise City!

    Population: YOU!

    Look, I get wanting to be together the morning after you get married, cause you are leaving for your honeymoon and it’s a big deal, conversly…he wants to work an extra shift, get extra money, that’s his way of taking care you!  Personally, it wouldn’t bug me much, since you literally have eternity together bound together as man and wife…I think I could spare a day, especially since your getting ready to go on a trip that night…I don’t know about you…I hate having people around while I’m trying to pack..it’s irritating somehow…so if it were me, I would call all my ladies, set up a post nuptual brunch somewhere, have a good time, eat some eggs benedict and let Sir Works a Lot cram in that one last shift…

    Post # 19
    2121 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    i get where shes coming from completely. its their first morning as a married couple.id find it very odd if my fi wanted to go to work the morning after our wedding. the only *slight* thing the OP did wrong is say she didnt have a problem with it and then changing her mind. but i can see myself doing that too haha. im actually surprised by the bees who think its not a big deal

    if they were desperate for cash…then fair enough. itd be for the good of them as a couple and worth sucking it up. but thats not the case. i find it a bit bizarre his job would offer him work the day after his wedding!

    Post # 20
    1043 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @newname_99:  There’s lot of jobs that will offer you a shift no matter what’s going on in your personal life.  I work at a hospital and one of my co-workers got married last year and he came in to work the day after his wedding too.  Him and his wife left later in the week for their honeymoon.  There are more and more places that offer 24/7 hours.

    Post # 21
    493 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2018 - Toronto, Ontario

    @violet25:  i understand the alone feeling regarding the hotel

    if he thinks hell be fine with six hours of sleep then hes ok

    maybe you can have a relative or a friend meet you at the hotel and have a girls lunch? to make things more cheery rather than feeling a void. i’d try to arrange a lunch or shopping with mom or a girlfriend

    or take a spa day somewhere near the hotel? book an appointment so you’re getting up and out of the hotel with a purpose?

    Post # 23
    2292 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    The morning after the wedding is probably going to be when Fiance and I connect the most. The night of the wedding will be a bit of an exhausted blur so the morning after is perfect for catch ups, recaps and shags. Not work.


    Post # 24
    90 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @violet25:  My SO is also a workaholic. i always told him he needed to spend more time with me and set his priorities. Unfortunately he chose work 7 years ago, he worked sooo much but now i’m fortunate to have a stable lifestyle due to his strong work ethic. I think you could always have that romantic breakfast in bed in your honeymoon. He probably wants to make the extra cash to relax and not think about work during your vacation. SO and I have been working crazy hours for our honeymoon in three weeks. I couldn’t possibly relax knowing i had a lot of stuff pending in the office.

    Post # 25
    77 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    If a man sees a chance to make some extra money, he’s going to want to take it.  That’s in their nature.  I think you should schedule some time to hang out with family or friends during that day and then go off to your honeymoon with your new husband that evening.  If he has to be up at 6:30 am, then wake up with him, and you’ll officially be able to see your husband off to work for the first time.  I do understand not wanting to part from him so soon after the wedding, even for a few hours, but you’ll see him that evening.  And in the end, he wants to make that money so badly for you both.  It’s not like he’s cutting your honeymoon short for work.  Sounds like he’s handling his business as a man and a husband.  

    Post # 27
    2314 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    How about a half day? The day after is one of those mushy days where you constantly say husband/wife, feed your face, take silly pics. I too wouldn’t want to wake alone.

    Post # 28
    8425 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    The day after the wedding was something I wouldn’t want to miss personally. It was so nice to share that first morning as a married couple, go over and have breakfast with our family, open gifts, etc.

    Post # 29
    222 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    We aren’t spending the day after our wedding together.  I have 2 baby showers to go to that day oh and we’re not going on a honeymoon.  I think I’d rather be in your shoes… lol

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