(Closed) Am I being out of order?!

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
9917 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Being hurt by what?  

Post # 5
Member
2892 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

@Mrsdickinson:  I think 1. You should try not to be hurt, because she’s entitled to her feelings and she wasn’t mean about expressing them and 2. I’m a little sad for her that her attitude is once she gets married she won’t have anything left to look forward to.

Post # 6
Member
1458 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

You’re 22, so that means you’ve been with him since you were 15? For most people, yeah that’s moving incredibly quickly and not the path that the majority of people take. If you’re asking people for their opinions, you’re going to get their opinions. She wouldn’t make the choices you are making, and neither would I, but if it feels right to you then just ignore it and move on.

 

 

But then also STOP asking people if they’re excited or happy for you unless you know that they will unequivocally answer yes.

Post # 7
Member
960 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Mrsdickinson:  She’s entitled to her opinion and she should be allowed to express it, so I wouldn’t be too hurt by it, its just her thoughts.

 

But I also think you were a bit over the line telling her she should be more excited for you. You did judge her reaction, when (as your friend mentioned) you weren’t very excited when she shared an acomplishment.

 

I think you both just need to take a step back and cool it 🙂

Post # 8
Member
2874 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

To be fair, i wouldnt say ut to a friend but i get what she means about not being excited about other peoples weddings. Rem3mber its a massive deal ot you, not so much for other ppl

 

Sounds like shes hurt u werent excited about whatever  her news was and now doesnt feel like being alll enthusiastic about yr wedding talk. She didnt say anything rude so i wouldnt be offended. And she was trying to be honest

 

Post # 9
Member
964 posts
Busy bee

@Mrsdickinson:  I think you should edit out all the side friends on the post.

Post # 11
Member
989 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think you both are handling this terribly.  She’s not a bad friend if she’s not over the moon excited for you.  Plus it sounds like she has some things going on and you’ve been too absorbed with the wedding to show interest in her life.  On the other hand, I think she should have kept her opinion about your age to herself.  It’s not like she thinks your fiance treats you badly.  I also think she’s got a skewed view of what marriage means for young people (i.e. the “nothing to look forward to” comment).

Also, FYI – your screen shot contains a great deal of personal information.  Perhaps you should retype the conversation without identifying information or blur it out of the image?

Post # 12
Member
1458 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

@Mrsdickinson:  So now you are judging her and her life and choices, while you want her to be accepting and excited for everything you do?

 

With friends like that…

Post # 13
Member
960 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@hiheel:  +1

Post # 14
Member
5221 posts
Bee Keeper

I just read 10 peoples full names that you just posted on the internet that may not want their names on a public website that has thousands of members and millions of hits every day. I would remove that screen shot immediately. 

As for your original question,  it sounds like your friend genuinely has your interest at heart but they’re hurt that you don’t show interest in their life as much as you want them to show interest in yours. I would let it go. 

 

 

 

Post # 16
Member
1714 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

She is entitled to her opinion and allowed to express it. I thought she was being polite and just frank in all the right ways. 

The topic ‘Am I being out of order?!’ is closed to new replies.

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