- 6 years ago
- Wedding: August 2012
Hi all! I have never done a post like this before but this is really bothering me and I don’t know how to handle this.
First the back story – and bear with me, it’s a little crazy. My cousin got married in his wifes home country almost two years ago. They live across the country from the rest of our family and now he has decided that he wants to have a second ceremony here. His wife thinks this is unecessary but he is pushing to do it. I personally don’t have an opinion either way, and I understand wanting to have a reception at home so your family that couldn’t fly half way around the world can now celebrate your marriage. I think doing it two years later seems a bit strange, but to each their own. My cousin is one of several boys and one of his brothers has been with his girlfriend for almost 14 years. Yesterday I got a text from the girlfriend, who I went to college with and who I THOUGHT was my friend, asking me to confirm my wedding date because she knew we are getting married in August, but that my cousin was now thinking of having his second ceremony in August. I don’t care if they do it in August, as long as it isn’t the same weekend as my wedding, because how can you have two family weddings back to back (we’re getting married on a Saturday). I confirm my date with her and we start chatting about the already married couples new wedding plans (see, I told you this is confusing). She tells me that his wife doesn’t even want to do this and how lucky that she is to have her because she has taken over the wedding planning. And she says that this is perfect because she doesn’t think her and my cousin are ever going to get married and now she can plan the wedding without the big bill. So then I ask her if she knew if my cousin and his wife were planning on coming to my wedding since I had sent them a Save the Date. She responds by saying that she will ask him when she sees him today, but that in a perfect world they would be out here that weekend so she could throw her a bachelorette party and a bridal shower. I was stunned. The weekend prior to their SECOND wedding would be my wedding – how can you host a bunch of wedding related activities for another bride the weekend of a family wedding? I am so hurt by this. This side of my family is small, and my father passed away when I was only ten years old, so these cousins are the only family that I have from my fathers side of the family that will be coming to my wedding.
Am I wrong to be upset? I feel like my other cousins girlfriend is projecting all of her wedding fantasies onto my cousins wife and is now going to, for the lack of a better term, rain all over my parade with wedding festivities for an already married woman. How can you throw a bachelorette party for someone who is married? How can you have a bridal shower for a couple who is already married and owns two homes together? It just feels so hurtful. I have spent the better part of a year planning my wedding day down to the last detail and I really want to enjoy it with my family and friends, and I feel like this is going to infringe upon it. Isn’t it bad etiquette to do that to a family member?