Am I being paranoid???

posted 3 months ago in Relationships
Post # 16
8370 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I agree with a pp that it’s shitty that you’re fine seeing your fam, and even anti-mask aunt when it benefits you, but he wants to visit his elderly grandmother and you’re putting up a fuss? 
I wouldn’t be visiting the aunt, no matter what. Pay a real mechanic who follows protocols, but obviously it doesn’t bother you enough to do that. 
I would probably try to find a way to visit grandma, but you can do an outdoor distanced visit. Or even just him, so you and baby aren’t exposed.

Post # 17
896 posts
Busy bee

You’re not paranoid. Others are just careless or nonchalantly concerned. I would say if you are going to see your mom he should be careful And able to see his gma for support. Keep baby home

Post # 18
13649 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I am with you. No to everything but your mom who needs your help and has been in lockdown. Your husband is putting her, you, and your child at risk by seeing his irresponsible family members and I’d want that to stop now. 

No way to the assisted living unless the visits with the idiot family members were to completely stop, and it’s outdoors, at a good distance, with masks. I would not take the baby. Rare as it is, children can get Covid and die or have multi organ involvement. Testing is no guarantee. This is still one of the highest risk settings. The only reason to consider it is isolation kills too. 

Post # 19
1250 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 1983

Every time your irresponsible husband visits someone in his family he needs quarantine for two weeks. I don’t know where, but not with his family. It’s going to get pricey.

He can declare it time for us all to be normal, but I don’t know how he’s going to convince the virus that’s killing 1000 Americans every day.

Post # 20
9182 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Are the anti-mask members of your husbands family also visiting the grandmother? Because if they are then I probably wouldn’t go and I would definitely give the facility a heads up about it.

Is there other ways the home can facilitate a visit? For example where I am some homes are having visitors stay outside but come to a huge widow (like in the recreation or dinning room) and they visit their family member through the glass. 

But it is slightly hypocritical to be ok with him visiting the aunts when it benefits you. It is either safe or it isn’t in my opinion. I got a flat tyre a few weeks ago and instead of getting my husbands friend to fix it like we normally would, we took it to a tyre place so that could do a no contact fix.

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Post # 21
198 posts
Blushing bee

I work in a nursing home in Ireland and I honestly would have zero concerns about visiting his grandmother. All residents and staff get tested regularly and visits happen with social distancing in place as well as masks/temp taken/hand hygiene. 

As for the aunt, could you do a social distance visit with her? 

Post # 22
1789 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - California

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@rumandcoke25:  I don’t think you are being paranoid at all. The best you can do is minimize risks. You can’t totally eliminate all risks, but I think it’s entirely reasonable to avoid contact with people who are not taking precautions and also minimize close contact with people in general, even if they are taking precautions. Based on that, I would have to agree with PP who suggested that it would a good idea for both you and your husband to avoid visiting his aunt or anyone in his family who is not taking the pandemic seriously.  As for visiting your mother, makes total sense to me that you would do that, because it’s not something you can avoid or do fully remotely if you’re having to bring her supplies. As for visiting his grandmother, that is a tough call because while it is not a technically necessary visit, it is her birthday and she has likely not been able to see her family often, if at all so I understand why your husband would like to go even though there is always going to be some risk involved in being around other people.

Post # 23
383 posts
Helper bee

I agree with     

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@butfirstchampagne:  the nursing homes are doing all they can to keep the residents safe!  Education on how to be safe, using precautions, temp taking, covid testing, distancing are all in place and we’ve been practicing it for 6 months now.  Check on a national website if there is any active covid in grandma’s building, call to see if your child can even go (not 100% sure on this, I think we aren’t having kids yet) make sure its outside.  Our facility is only doing window visits, but will be opening up this week, and we’ve never even had one resident with covid…..  good luck!  

Post # 24
5466 posts
Bee Keeper

To the person that says it’s “not fair ” to visit your fam not his. To that I say BS. If his family isn’t taking it seriously then no visits. That’s the consequence of not taking a global pamdemic seriously.  My God. It’s not apples to apples. 

Post # 25
2147 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: City, State

Simple. Tell your husband that your family can visit his grandmother together if you all quarantine at home for two weeks prior, him included. Good gauge of how much he really wants to go see her.

I’d stay far away from the maskless aunt. It’s a very simple thing, wearing a mask. She’s basically giving everyone around her the middle finger. 

Post # 26
152 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

I think you should keep doing what you’re doing. Your job is to keep your baby safe and if people can’t understand that then that’s too bad. I would not let it stress you out. Your husband should not be going anywhere either. Masks are not even 100% protection. If they were, doctors and nurses would not be dying from this virus. And your baby can’t even wear a mask so I would not be taking my baby anywhere if I were you. Shame on anyone that makes you feel guilty about keeping your baby and your mom safe. You are being smart and he is being wreckless and it’s not fair to you. I know someone that was not being careful and she was still visiting her parents and they both got Covid from her and they both died within 1 week of each other. That was a huge eye-opener for me. My friend did not even know that she had it because she did not have any symptoms. Imagine the guilt that she is living with now and forever. Times are tough right now and people may miss their families but I’d rather be safe than sorry. 

Post # 27
657 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

Nursing homes have only just started allowing guest at all. His grandmother is likely starved for contact with her family.  I would encourage at least your husband to visit her.  Nursing homes have been very diligent with their testing of staff and handling of this pandemic and your husband would be very safe visiting his grandmother.  

I one hundred and ten percent support you all staying away from that aunt.

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