(Closed) Am I being petty? (just a rant)

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 32
Member
3526 posts
Sugar bee

I’m usually the first one to declare someone a bridezilla, but I don’t think you are one. You actually seem pretty generous if you’re paying for their hair, lodging, and makeup. From your description, you only booked the Air BnB because they wanted to stay with you the night before- apparently you’re being terrible because not everyone gets their own bed but since you didn’t require them to stay and since they aren’t chipping in, I’d say beggars can’t be choosers. 

The only roughly unreasonable thing I would say is your light gold dress requirement, since that’s a difficult colour to find, especially when you leave it up to them to find a dress.

Your Maid/Matron of Honor is probably stressed about money, but not wanting to seem like she’s cheaping out. I would just sit her down one on one and hash it out.

Post # 33
Member
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I think you’re being quite generous already for renting the AirBnB. You’re staying there with them when you could have stayed in your grandma’s house and have photos taken there, which you mentioned would have been more meaningful (and I agree). Yet, you went ahead and rented the place to accomodate your girls anyway. I would have been more than grateful for the bride for paying the place, AND for hair and makeup.

Some of your MOH’s comments were a bit snarky but I would give her benefit of the doubt and assume that money’s stressing her a bit. Hope this doesn’t ruin the friendship.

Post # 34
Member
54 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I’m getting a room at the hotel the night before the wedding, and I’m inviting my girls to stay with me. I told them all that with 5 of us, we’d have to share and one would get the couch, but they all were gung hoo for it because it meant sleeping in a little later (6:30am for make-up and hair it’s rough enough as it is), and not having to worry about traffic and being late. One girl is thinking she may stay down the road with her husband, but she understands there’s no pressure either way; if she decided she wants to she can, if not no big deal. But she didn’t throw any comments around like yours did, and I think that waa rude of her.

I do agree that if her budget was a lot lower, I would have stressed to the other girls to try their best to stay low in price and tried for shorter dresses. However, it’s not your job to cater to her. If she had a problem with it she could have brought it up with the other girls with involving you, since you left it to them to pick their own.

 

I feel like she’s giving you a lot more grief than she should be. I mean really, what bride wants to be told “oh, you’re doing your best to help us but it’s not what I wasn’t so I’m going to sit here and pout”? You’re handling it much better than I would. Maybe instead of how you phrased it, you could have been a little more subtle in your talk with her. Mention how you know it’s been hard with everything, and you know she hasn’t liked a few things, but unfortunately that’s the way they are. Ask if there’s anything within your power that you can do to help, but be firm in the things you want.

 

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