(Closed) Am I being selfish??

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Am I being selfish?
    Yes : (6 votes)
    11 %
    No : (49 votes)
    89 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2363 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013 - B&B

    Here’s a question: Do you think this friend would want you to stop your life? Your friend would want you to be happy, right?

    If something happened to me, I wouldn’t want my friends to stop their lives or mourn for a designated period of time. I try to live my life and be a good friend in such a way that I will be missed, (because it means I loved them 🙂 ) but I would NEVER want their lives to stop. I want them to be happy. Them being happy and continuing to love and get joy out of life would be the best way to honor my memory.

    You can do both: plan your wedding and take time out every now and then to visit him. And if you are having trouble getting in to see, maybe you could write a note and have a nurse or doctor read it to him? I know they are busy but maybe they could spare a few moments….

    I am so so sorry this happened to your friend. How heartbreaking 🙁 I will send prayers his way <3

    Post # 4
    Member
    686 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    Your poor Friend! My God I hope they find out who did this! Are there any leads or speculation why this happened? 

    To answer your question, I don’t think you should put off planning your wedding- it would be a good distraction from the greif and icky- ness you’re feeling. I prob would avoid gushing over details for a while tho as that would be especially odd and would seem like you don’t care about your friend .

    As for contacting your friends family and asking to come see him –  Stop That! They are in a wicked amount of greif and pain and I’m sure they don’t wish any ill towards you but they don’t want anyone outside of immediate family there. It’s about their family right now. Its about preserving Their sons dignity. Most people wouldn’t want to be seen in a state as he’s in and they are trying to protect him. Write your friend a letter, go for a walk in a park or on a beach, pray to to him.. Your friend knows you care.

    Post # 6
    Member
    2781 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @thumpurr:  Your friend wouldn’t expect nor want you to put your life on hold for them. If anything this would show you just how shot and precious life is, don’t put off your plans. That doesn’t mean you neglect your friend in need, keep him in your thoughts, visit him when you can, and when he recovers spend time with him and be there for him when he needs.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1399 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @thumpurr:  First of all, I’m so sorry- for you, for your friend, for his loved ones… how awful. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Remember- miracles DO happen, so keep hoping!

    Second… you’re not selfish. If this person was as good a friend as you believe, he wouldn’t want you to give up your life because of him, especially when there’s nothing much you can do about his situation. Visiting him is a good idea, especially if you want closure/to say goodbye… but you should also continue on with your life with your fiance.

    Feel better. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    772 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    No, I don’t think it’s selfish at all.  As tragic as this is, your life goes on.  I think as long as you’re there when needed, carry on.  If you’re religious/spiritual, continue to pray.  Continue to try and contact the family when you’re able to let them know you’re available if they need anything.  Outside of that, you’re well within your rights to forge onward with your life. 

    I’m very sorry about your friend.

    Post # 10
    Member
    51 posts
    Worker bee

    @thumpurr:  Miracles happen all the time! My grandmother had a stroke that caused a blood vessel to explod and she’s still alive. (: It was truly a miracle. 

    The topic ‘Am I being selfish??’ is closed to new replies.

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