(Closed) Am I being selfish?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
781 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Can you ask for a compromise?  Have dinner or lunch, but not the whole day.  Unless he agrees to stay up with you putting all that stuff together!!

Post # 4
Member
6 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I don’t think you are being selfish at all, but at the same time I understand your fiance wanting his family to spend time with you.  Weddings sometime turn into family reunions, who knows when everyone will be at the same place at the same time again?  

Is it possible to delegate any of your projects or maybe agree to a brunch with family after the wedding day, but before you leave for your honeymoon?  I am surprised that his family and your fiance would expect you to “make” a dish to take as well, if your fiance wants something homemade, show him to the kitchen.  

Bottom line, you guys have to find compromises with your fiance and make sure he understands how many things need to happen.  Next, you have to delegate and ask for help.  A lot of times people really want to help the bride with projects, but we end up not wanting to burden someone.  So don’t be afraid to ask a talented aunt to decorate that arch!  Ask grandma or a sibling to help with your laundry and pack the kids for the weekend, and definitley ask your fiance to take care of the dish for the dinner you are going to with his family.  

Post # 5
Member
6 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Also, if you have family in town, are they allowed to go with you to this dinner if they want?

Post # 6
Member
464 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Is there a way you could get his mom involved and get some stuff done there? Maybe she would actually enjoy helping out since she lives so far and hasnt really gotten to do any contributing to the wedding?

Post # 8
Member
3799 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Ugh! I would be so peeved!

I would compromise, maybe ask if you can stay for a few hours and then leave after you eat so you can have some time to do stuff. Be firm. If he is not going to be helping, then he needs to at least let you go and get done what you need to do.

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