(Closed) am I being selfish??

posted 7 years ago in Gifts and Registries
  • poll: am i being selfish? do people really send gifts after the wedding??
    yes selfish and yes they send gifts after the wedding : (29 votes)
    24 %
    yes selfish and no they don't send anything after the wedding : (36 votes)
    30 %
    not selfish and yes they send gifts afterwards : (22 votes)
    18 %
    not selfish and no they don't send gifts afterwards... : (32 votes)
    27 %
  • Post # 3
    1269 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    Did you have a wedding for the gifts or to celebrate with your friends and family?

    Post # 4
    1064 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I was going to ask the same thing. 

    Post # 5
    2747 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012


    Post # 6
    2657 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Honestly I dont know. My fear is that this happens to me too. I know my friends and family are not rich, so Im thinking of not registering for expensive items. Now I will register for at least 3 or 4 specific expensive items but other then that I plan on trying to keep it low. So that people will be more keen on buying what my Fi need.

     I still cannot believe that people go to weddings without SOMETHING. I find that so rude. Some couples dont need anything, but alot of couples do. Like my Fiance and I.

    Either way, you still get that 10% off on the items that you didnt get from guests on your registeries.  SO thats a plus. 🙂


    Post # 7
    1231 posts
    Bumble bee

    @trueblue39: sorry but yeaaa you sound selfish. I don’t think you will find anyone on here that will tell you that you don’t sound selfish.

    HOWEVER, I think it is very rude for people to not even give a card. I would never not show up without a gift. I’m sorry you had so many people not give you at least a card. I can’t say I wouldn’t be a little miffed about it either. But think about it this way, that means less thank you cards for you to have to write. 🙂

    Post # 9
    2576 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    No one owes you a gift.

    This should be the last thing on your mind 3 weeks into newly wedded life.

    Post # 10
    602 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    It’s funny that we see different wordings of this same question all the time and I feel like half the time the crowd is like OMG you’re so selfish and sometimes they aren’t. 

    Does anyone pay for a wedding to get gifts?  No.  It would make no fiscal sense to host an elborate party in the hopes that your guests could possibly cover the overhead. 

    Out of a guest list of 138 (I think?) only 3 parties did not give gifts at the wedding.  Two parties gave us gifts by the recently passed year “deadline”. 

    I guess this varies largely by social circle and location but I would feel incredibly awkward not bringing something to a wedding. 

    Post # 11
    4824 posts
    Honey bee

    Did they all give you a card?

    If they didnt, then I would say rude. I know not everyone can’t afford a gift, but everyone should give an acknowledgement.

    And I have recently had a new opinion. I would never go to a wedding empty handed. So a card is the minimum. Even if I only had $5 to spend I would spend it. An ornament, a glass, a frame etc… They can all be purchased for $5. If I think I wouldnt go to an event like a wedding without something, then I DO think its rude to not bring anything… a card at the minimum.

    EDIT: having gone through all the stages of opinions related to this, I know its not popular. I know the opinion that is considered “right ettiqute”, but in reality its different. I got gifts from every one of my guests and cards (well with the excepion of a sister which is a whole ‘nother story). Some were much more than others (and I didnt cash a few), but despite what we paid, they were celebrating us.

    I would never go to bday celebrating another person (knowing it was a bday party) and not bring a card and/present. (in reality a present of some sort)


    Post # 12
    3261 posts
    Sugar bee

    Was it rude for them to show up without so much as a card? Yes.

    Are they expected to get you a gift? No.

    Are you being selfish complaining about it 3 weeks after the wedding? Yes.

    Post # 15
    4824 posts
    Honey bee

    @trueblue39: I am so sorry about your mom. I really am.

    I think what someone is supposed to think and what actually happens is drastically different.

    I did expect gifts because I have been to weddings on both sides. 

    I give gifts.

    If I didnt receive them, I would be upset. Shallow? possibly? but the best prediction of the future is the past and the past was a certain way.

    I don’t know your circle of friends of family, but if that were to happen to me I would be upset as well, especially considering what I know of my friends and families behavior.

    The topic ‘am I being selfish??’ is closed to new replies.

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