(Closed) Am I being selfish?

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

You should do what feels right for you and your Fiance. I don’t think it’s selfish that you are planning the wedding you want, especially since your dad is doing well. Should the situation change, you can always do a quick civil ceremony if you choose to.

Post # 4
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I don’t think this is necessarily selfish. If you’re close with yOur dad perhaps you could talk to him and have him make it clear to your step mom that he’s more concerned with seeing you set up a happy stable life with yOur future husband than having you push things forward so he can be at your wedding 

Post # 7
Member
2638 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2006

You’re not being selfish, but I think you’re going to be really sorry if something were to happen and your dad isn’t around in another 16 months. I just . . . well, I’m speaking from experience here. 

Post # 8
Member
1352 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I am extremely close with my dad so for me I would absolutely make sure he could be there, i wouls toss every penny that I’ve spent out the window without a second thought. Not judging you bc I don’t know your relationship BUT I want you to think of this, in 6 months time if he suddenly took a turn for the worste how would you feel knowing he wasn’t there to walk you down the ailse? Cancer is a horrible disease that is unpredictable and maybe your step mom is making these remarks bc he knows how important it is to yur dad to be here. 

Post # 9
Member
23 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I am 27 now and having a small elopement type wedding in Sept because my dad passed away when I was 20. He was diagnosed with terminal colon cancer, when I was 16 they gave him a year he lived for 4. I can’t tell you what to do, and I dont want to say things to be offensive but he WILL die. My dad was my best friend I wasnt with my SO when he was alive so I didnt have a chance to have him at my wedding. I am having a private ceremoney because I couldnt stand the idea of having someone else walk me down the aisle or give me away. Please whatever you decide remember you only have one father, I wish I had been given a chance to have mine with me on my special day.

 

Sorry for ranting or being all over the place, this is just an issue that really hit home with me.

Post # 12
Member
23 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@daybyday:  Thank you, it will be 7 years ago and it does get easier, but with big moments in my life, sometimes it feels like yesterday.

Post # 13
Member
2450 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

i don’t think you are selfish… but i think you might be in a little bit of denial.

i think while you may regret throwing a smaller something together sooner for your dad… you may regret it more if you wait and he’s not around anymore.

i would do something small with just your closest few people and not tell anyone else and then have your big ceremony later on. my cousin did a small wedding at a mall before her husband was deployed and they did a big wedding after he got back.

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