(Closed) Am I Being Selfish for Wanting DH to Come to my Appointment?

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Am I Being Selfish for Wanting DH to Come to my Appointment with me?
    Yes - it's not a big deal, just go alone : (23 votes)
    53 %
    No - it's a big deal to you and he should go with you for support : (19 votes)
    44 %
    Other : (1 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    1915 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2014 - Dallas, TX

    @sourcandy:  I wouldn’t ask him to miss a days pay just for the consultation. The surgery itself would be another story but you said he’s already committed to that. If the consultation was close by it would make sense for him to come, but since it is so far away I wouldn’t push him on it. Just my two cents though. You need to do what you’re comfortable with.

    Post # 4
    1181 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @sourcandy:  any surgery/procedure and any consultation I’d want my Fiance with me. Its one thing if he couldnt because of work, but if he just didnt want to I’d be upset. Especially if I asked him to come and then he said no. 

    I would just tell him you would be more comfortable with him. Most doctors suggest that someone comes because day of they will need to know what to expect too

    Post # 5
    9917 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    It’s just a consultation…so you can just explain to him later.  

    Post # 6
    9142 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    When I needed surgery on my cervix to remove cancerous cells I only took my husband on the day of the procedure because I needed someone to drive me (and I wanted him there for support.)  Honestly, he’s going to be bored at your consultation because it’s not really about him and he likely won’t remmber any of it anyway.  The doctor or nurse can give him a rundown of what to expect as far as taking care of you on the day of the procedure. 

    Post # 7
    2481 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    It’s just a consultation. He really doesn’t need to take unpaid time off work to attend. Also, why do you expect to go to his big appointments? It’d never occur to me to tag along with my Darling Husband for appointments that are for him alone. 

    Post # 8
    1088 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    I do I do!!!

    What do you want to know?  I had mine done 4 years ago, and Fiance had his done 2 years ago, also my sister and cousin had it too. 

    I’d go alone to the consultation, it’s no big deal really.  They go over options, and do some tests to see if you’re eligable, etc.  I wouldn’t have him go.


    Post # 9
    1130 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    @sourcandy:  He doesn’t really need to go to the consultation with you, unless he wants to but I don’t think it’s worth a day’s pay for him. My dad went to his first appointment with the doctor on his own. Basically, he/she will explain the procedure and examine your eyes to determine if you’re a candidate for the surgery. He just explained everything to us later when he got home.

    My dad had laser eye surgery about 5 years ago, and recruited me to be his driver. The whole thing only takes like 15-20 minutes at the most – I didn’t even have enough time to finish the coffee from the machine they had in the waiting room. You’re going to need someone to drive you home though, and also for the next few days as your eyes heal up. Your vision will be very blurry and you’ll have to wear some pretty dark sunglasses (I think the doctor will tell you all of this at your appointment).

    Also, your eyes might be dry for a while afterwards. I’ve heard this from my dad and several other people who’ve had the surgery. Just use artificial tears that you can get at the pharmacy, like Visine or Systane or something. You may have to use them for a few months as your eyes continue to heal up.

    Post # 10
    1938 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    @sourcandy:  Procedure yes, consultation no.   This isn’t difficult subject matter, so you don’t need his emotional support and that’s the only reason why I would require my Fiance to go to just a consultation with me.  Dr’s understand they need to speak to the drivers/caretakers that accompany their patient for a procedure. 


    Post # 13
    1471 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2015

    I understand laser eye surgery is a big deal, but I echo PPs that this is just a consultation. I’m not sure why you need support during a consultation. It would be a more serious matter if you were getting a consultation because you found out that you have cancer (God forbid). I’d just make sure he comes with you for the actual surgery day. I agree with your husband that there’s no need to tag along on “big” appointments that don’t involve the both of you. He isn’t a child.

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