Post # 1
Me and SO are in a long distance relationship so we like to skype a few days a week. Well the past few times we’ve planned to skype he’s buddies call and so then he just does something with them. Now I usually say it’s fine but today I blew up and told him that everytime we have plans he can never say no to his friends.
Now he doesn’t think it’s a big deal and I don’t mind if he wants to hangout with his friends. Sometimes I just feel like he doesn’t understand that it hurts my feelings when he blows me off the same day we have plans when his friends come calling.
Should I just let this go or should I say something?
Post # 3
- Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY
Say something. When you’re both calm and in good spirits. As I say… if you are saying it here, you should say it there!
Post # 4
@buggaboo6: You should calmly say something. When you’re in a LDR communication is even more important. Him cancelling a skype call is equivilent to cancelling a date.
Post # 5
@MexiPino: Agreed. When I was LDR, the talks seemed more important to me than him. To him it was “just a phone call”, so a real life interruption took precedence. To me it was time with my boyfriend, and took precedence over anything! Talk to him about it. I think he’s just not seeing it the same way as you do, so you need to explain to him how important it is.
Post # 6
You’re not being silly! You’re in an LDR, it’s not like if he doesn’t want to talk right now you’ll see him at home later.
Post # 7
Let him know, for sure. Just explain to him how important it is to you and try to help him see that it’s hurting you. Speaking from personal experience, the most important aspect of a LDR is communication!
Post # 8
Do you know what your (and his) Love Languages are? Might make him realize just how important talking to him is to you if he knew.
Post # 9
Thanks bees! I tell him if he needs more space but then he says he doesn’t? Then when I try to talk he doesn’t say much? Is this just men in general? lol ugh!
Post # 10
@buggaboo6: I don’t think it’s about “space”, it’s about keeping your word. So if you’re arranged to Skype at 8pm Monday, he needs to honour that. You could tell him it’s like keeping an appointment or commitment. Or as one person said, a date. Either way, you need to make it clear it’s a high priority.
I’m also wondering if, in “guy land”, saying “I can’t come because I have to Skype my gf” might sound a bit lame, like he’s afraid to say that to his buddies? I’ve no idea how to deal with that, but I’m wondering if there’s a bit of that going on. You could ask him. But since you say, “he doesn’t say much” (I assume about this issue) then he might not be able to explain it anyway.
Post # 11
These are like your guys’ dates, and he should not blow them off for his friends. Next time you talk to him, tell him how important these dates are to you and that you would appreciate it if he took your feelings into consideration more.