(Closed) Am I being silly here? (rant)

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
4687 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

Say something. When you’re both calm and in good spirits. As I say… if you are saying it here, you should say it there!

Post # 4
Member
7211 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@buggaboo6:  You should calmly say something. When you’re in a LDR communication is even more important. Him cancelling a skype call is equivilent to cancelling a date. 

Post # 5
Member
7680 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MexiPino:  Agreed. When I was LDR, the talks seemed more important to me than him. To him it was “just a phone call”, so a real life interruption took precedence. To me it was time with my boyfriend, and took precedence over anything! Talk to him about it. I think he’s just not seeing it the same way as you do, so you need to explain to him how important it is.

Post # 6
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

You’re not being silly! You’re in an LDR, it’s not like if he doesn’t want to talk right now you’ll see him at home later.

Post # 7
Member
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Let him know, for sure. Just explain to him how important it is to you and try to help him see that it’s hurting you. Speaking from personal experience, the most important aspect of a LDR is communication!

Post # 8
Member
5885 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Do you know what your (and his) Love Languages are? Might make him realize just how important talking to him is to you if he knew. 

Post # 10
Member
7680 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@buggaboo6:  I don’t think it’s about “space”, it’s about keeping your word. So if you’re arranged to Skype at 8pm Monday, he needs to honour that. You could tell him it’s like keeping an appointment or commitment. Or as one person said, a date. Either way, you need to make it clear it’s a high priority.

I’m also wondering if, in “guy land”, saying “I can’t come because I have to Skype my gf” might sound a bit lame, like he’s afraid to say that to his buddies? I’ve no idea how to deal with that, but I’m wondering if there’s a bit of that going on. You could ask him. But since you say, “he doesn’t say much” (I assume about this issue) then he might not be able to explain it anyway.

Post # 11
Member
1721 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

These are like your guys’ dates, and he should not blow them off for his friends.  Next time you talk to him, tell him how important these dates are to you and that you would appreciate it if he took your feelings into consideration more.

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