Post # 1
Ok, I’m willing to put myself out there and probably have to deal with the heat from all of you telling me that I am, in fact, a major asshole:
But, since I am the least sentimental person in the world, I find the mother/son dance particularly “ughhh”. Like, realllllly?
FMIl is divorced, and Fiance is most definitely the man in her life. And the thought of her crying in his arms for 5 minutes of a celin dion song while all our guests gaze on is just like, so, ughhhh.
If it helps me the situation, I’ll add that I also want to forego the father/daughter dance too.
But, according to FI—this dance is not “forego-able”. Maybe I’m just whining because I am working so hard to plan this wedding but when Fiance wants something (eg: a big wedding, a catholic ceremony, mrs. crazy on the guest list, etc, etc) I MUST include it. But when I nicely say: I’d like a small wedding, I don’t want the ceremony to be Catholic, I feel really uncomfortable inviting a woman who is trying to set you up with her daughter, and I really would rather dance with our parents during the night unannounced rather than having the DJ announce it and have everyone watch us–my Fiance tells me to deal with it.
Post # 3
Maybe he should get a dance that is a bit more up tempo. The one my hub and his mom danced to was a really fun song so it wasn’t cheesy, well maybe a bit, but it was cute.
Post # 4
I don’t understand why your Fiance doesn’t want to combine the dances. They aren’t normally so formal in Australian weddings (I don’t think I’ve ever seen a proper parent/child dance) so at ours after our first dance I danced with my dad while everyone else danced around us. DH was meant to dance with my mum (his doesn’t dance) but she ran off to get the camera! Why can’t your Fiance dance with his mum while you dance with your dad, and other people dance too? I’d keep talking about it – if it’s *really* important to him though you might need to give in. Maybe you could take it as a chance to go to the bathroom and get another drink 🙂
Post # 5
I get ya. I didn’t initially want a Catholic wedding either, or a big wedding. I lost on both of those. But neither of us are dancers so we aren’t doing any of the ‘family’ dances, not even a first dance together – or at least not one that is announced so everyone stares at us. Personally, I think you should get some of it your way if Fiance is calling all the shots so far. Ditch the dances if you want to : )
Post # 6
PS) It could be worse, Mrs Crazy could demand a dance too!
Post # 7
i don’t want to forgo mine, but i don’t think you’re an asshole either. seriously though, i hate that weddings are these cookie-cutter things and we insert pieces of ourselves into them by picking out a color here and there. i mean it’s your wedding and if you don’t want to do the damn dance, then don’t.
Post # 8
I am with you!!!! Oh my gosh! Fiance and I agreed whole-heartedly that there would be no creepy mother and son dancing- not ever. EEEwWWW. She’s really needy- the kind that will hug him a little too long and a little too tight. (I am not saying it is creepy in general- just in our situation.) At my sister’s wedding they left those official dances out as well.
Post # 9
were foregoing it, just well because FH doesnt want to.. and by then we figured his mum might have had a couple of wines by then and go MIA lol.
I think sometimes tho, its all about a compromise.. are you foregoing the father daughter dance?
Post # 10
Hey, I’m an asshole too then. MY mom and I got into it about this very subject today. My mom asked Future Mother-In-Law if she wanted to do it and she said, yes, but they don’t want to. I didn’t even care until today so leave me out of it! Reasons why we are not having the mother/son dance…
FH hates dancing and being in the limelight
WE, the couple this is mostly about, are not having an announced first dance
Future Mother-In-Law has only said this to my mom, never to FH or even to me
and my reason- we asked her to go to the tasting Sunday and she said yes. We called her to remind her and she yelled at FH saying she was too busy(ummm, doing what?) and says I never told her about it. LIAR. She does this crap all the time. Thankfully FH knows she’s nuts.
Also, we are not doing a father/daughter dance because my dad died when i was little.
Post # 11
Your Fiance needs to compromise. Stack the arguments against him.
Post # 12
omg! thank you! FH’s mom picked a celine dion song….:(
Post # 13
Let me start by saying…I LOVE YOU
The mother/son dance is to even out the playing field. I most definitely would not miss it in my reception, WHATSOEVER.
But seeing as how my Future Mother-In-Law never married, and my Fiance is her only son (and her baby), I dont think I am going to be able to avoid this one. My Future Mother-In-Law had a mother/son dance (because she doesnt have a boyfriend) at her 50th birthday party. And I would love for her not to make a specticle of herself during our wedding reception, dancing and swaying and crying…argh!
So I do have to agree with you on this one. And I wish for you that he was a little bit more flexible, especially about something so trivial!
Post # 14
You know I think it’s fine if you want a singular parents dance… ie you with your dad and him with his mom. But I honestly believe that you need to respect the first woman in his life, and give her a dance, after all she raised the boy you love!
Post # 15
yeah I just don’t see why these dances need to be a big deal. I’d rather have an unplanned moment dancing with my dad at the reception and him with his mom. I’d enjoy it more if there were other people on the dance foor too and if it wasn’t announced that everyone had to sit down and just watch us. That seems so forced to me. Like, really?
Post # 16
Well then you offer really nicely to just have your first dance as a Big Thing, then do as Mountain Bride suggested and do the parent dances second, with everyone invited onto the floor. Hell, go for it with something fun, or really silly/cheesy (YMCA or Chicken song spring to mind!