(Closed) Am I being too controlling??

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
918 posts
Busy bee

@caiti_182:  aaaah what about him wearing a baby blue tie?? Or vest?? Eeeek sorry that’s not really helpful cause it’s still not in your colour theme..

Post # 5
Member
5014 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Haha oh gosh, I would have to put my foot down on this one. You may be able to weasel out of it though, can he even find a baby blue tux?!? My FI wanted to wear a grey suit but I wanted black; I ended up winning the argument because we couldn’t find grey suits to rent and any suit to buy under $200 would be low quality so he didn’t want that either. 

Post # 6
Member
955 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Dare him to find a baby blue tux at a rental shop. I’m sure the salespeople would have a good laugh.

Post # 7
Member
2297 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Wow…and I thought it was bad when my FI joked about wearing an all-white tux (which I know that some people like that look and is considered pretty normal, but it was always something I said I didn’t want).  Can you make up a visual aid showing how a baby blue tux would look with all of your other wedding colors and how badly it would clash?  Maybe if he sees how silly it would look….or is there something you can give him in exchange for the baby blue tux?

 @RunnerBride13:  That’s a good point…I’m pretty sure you can’t rent a baby blue tux at Men’s Warehouse….

Post # 9
Member
1222 posts
Bumble bee

@caiti_182:  I would probably let my fiance wear a baby blue suit if his heart was really set on it.

I think you have to be really smart about this though if you don’t want him to wear one.

Maybe say something along the lines of “Sure, wear whatever you like. I personally am not a huge fan of baby blue but if you like it, it’s fine” but then maybe once in awhile show him a nice suit of your preference and see what he says.

I think he will want to look his best for you so if you make it clear that you’re not forcing him to wear something, he will probably doubt his own choice and want to look good for you.

Post # 10
Member
918 posts
Busy bee

@caiti_182:  “all or nothing” so he’d go naked? Lol. 

Perhaps suggest he wear the baby blue tux on is bucks (if he’s having one?). Or get back up from his mother or someone else close to him that it’s not a good idea… Good luck!

Post # 11
Member
1691 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Nope, wouldn’t happen.  I would have killed him if he’d shown up in that.

Post # 12
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think compromise is key, but, honestly, you likely care more about your photos & memories than he does. So, could you compromise by having him do it for the bachelor party? Maybe doing a Dumb & Dumber rehearsal dinner? Spending money to rent an extra tux so you guys could get pictures with him wearing a silly outfit? Something that will let him have his fun, and not make your resentful. You have to be willing to give, let him have something silly, somewhere (for instance, I let my now hubby have corn hole available to play during the wait between ceremony & reception…honestly, in the long run, it’s not that big of a deal that we had one extra laid back part of our night & he was happy!).

Good luck!

 

Post # 13
Member
1254 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

lol, hell no. I would let my displeasure be known about this. If my FI pulled something like this I’d ask him how he’d feel if I rocked up in a hot pink bridal gown. Doubt he’d be impressed.  Tell him the 70s called and they want their suit back, haha.

My friend told me once that when they were engaged her FI had some funny suit ideas but once he went to actually try stuff on he realised what looked the best and went for a classic black suit. MY FI was flirting with the idea of tails and a top hat (yeah, maybe if we were English artistocrats, but otherwise I just feel a bit like it’s playing dress up. I do love morning suits but a friend whose husband I hate wore one and ruined it for me 🙂 ) but once he put on a black tux he was sold.

Post # 14
Member
7872 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m kind of on FI’s side. It is his wedding too, and if he’s set on it, then I think you should let him. Is he in love with the color, or the Jeff Daniels look? Maybe a blue suit, but lose the ruffles and top hat?

 

Post # 15
Member
1722 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

If it matched your colors then I would say back off a little but it will clash so baddly with your colors! Just tell him that you would really like all the pictures to look nice and that you understand it is wedding as well but does he really want to look a color clashing goof ball at his wedding???

Post # 16
Member
9956 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

 JaneyDcat:  —-> Reply # 5

Baby Blue Tuxes ala Jeff Daniels in Dumb & Dumber… is gonna be a tough find… as beyond this movie they truly were last seen in the 1970s (ah, the colourful decade when men were true “peacocks”)

Outside of getting lucky and finding a classic powder blue in a Vintage Shop (and in his size no less)… the chances of this happening as he visualizes is slim to none.

So hon, I think you can relax on this one.

Hope this helps,

 

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