- Miss Velveteen
- 11 years ago
- Wedding: March 2010
I’m wondering if I’m getting myself in over my head?? I’m getting paranoid about it not working out and feeling (and looking) like an idiot!
We’ve only been together 3 months or a little over, but known each other for a couple of years before that, and always talked regularly and in depth. We know each other quite well, IMO, the good, the bad and the ugly! I love him to bits, and can’t imagine anyone better for me than him, and vice versa (his words). Also when we started our relationship it was with the intent that it would be serious, so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. We’re both 23, if that matters to anyone. He works a stable job (first year out this year) as an engineer, and I’m completing my teaching diploma this year, so I don’t have a proper job yet.
With all our conversations about the serious things in life, we worked our way backwards to actually talking about getting married, and weddings (which is how I came to find this site…). We talk (lightly) about things like guest lists, budget, style. I try really hard not to bring it up! Sure, it’s got me kind of excited. But I’m kind of wary of getting too wrapped up in it, ESPECIALLY since we’re not engaged. But it’s hard! He brings it up, other people encourage it – I kind of wish I’d never let on how serious it was getting, but then at the same time we’re seeking other people’s advice (like our parents, and pastors).
I realise we’re still in the ‘infatuation’ phase, but we’ve tried hard to be rational and realistic and it still all lines up. He’s indicated that he would want to get engaged in a few months’ time (I think 3 months is short too!), so I know we have a while longer before the next official step – though my mum (whom I live with) considers us as good as engaged since we happily talk about ideas/plans.
It’s not that I think we’re too young, or don’t know what we’re doing (have both had serious/long term relationships before), and I have no doubt that he’s serious. But I just don’t feel totally secure and ‘locked in’ until we’re engaged.
I guess it seems too good to be true? I never believed in soul-matey people or "the one" or anything, but it’s like we’re made for each other.
Does anyone have any advice or calming words? I’m torn!