Am I being too impatient?

posted 2 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Should I stay or should I go?

    stay

    go!

  • Post # 61
    Member
    265 posts
    Helper bee

    View original reply
    sassy411 :  You’re absolutely right! It’s just an offering, should she decide she’d like the information.

    Post # 63
    Member
    265 posts
    Helper bee

    View original reply
    princessmoonbeam :  I am so sorry to hear your most recent updates. It sounds more like it is for the best but I know this must be really hard for you, especially considering you made space in your heart for his daughter. 

    I am starting to think that deep down he knew he wasn’t ready before he actually knew he wasn’t ready if that makes sense? It seems pretty self sabotaging that he spent his entire ring budget on toys for himself. If that’s what it took for him to realize that he wasn’t fully invested in your future then he should have just been a human being and admitted it then…. I’ll never understand why some people think that saying nothing and drawing things out is a better option than honesty.

    I’m very sorry you are having to go through this, you don’t deserve this foul treatment from him.

    Post # 65
    Member
    4 posts
    Wannabee
    • Wedding: October 2019

    I got drunk one night after a fight with my now husband about the stresses of not being married and said verbatum “Fuck it I’m sick of waiting for men” then proceeded to buy the stone for my engagement ring.  It’s not as romantic as other womens stories but it got the ball rolling and guess what?  He got the exact ring I wanted!  Like how did he know? 

    There is absolutly no reason that you can’t have babies post 35.  Was it your dream age?  Probably not, but age is never a barrier to motherhood.  I’ve even heard of a 60 year old woman carry an invitro grandbaby to term.  

    Waiting sucks though and you’re not alone in feeling the pressures of time.  

    Post # 66
    Member
    2949 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2021

    Wow… These most recent updates were… Not what I expected. I’m so sorry! 

    When I found this thread today and started reading it, I spent the first couple pages honestly prepping to give you the advice to slow your roll because I thought you were pushing a timeline that was obviously too fast for him and for reasons I felt were reasonable on his side. 

    But even if that is the case, the way he has handle it is awful. Instead of honesty, he lied and pushed things off. And then basically sabotaged the engagement by getting a ring he knew damn well you wouldn’t want so he could turn around and blame it on you being “materialistic”. Fuck that nonsense. 

    I’m sorry for you and sorry for his daughter. I genuinely thought he was being cautious about his daughter by slowing the timeline, but all he has done now is allow her to develop an emotional bond with a woman that he was apparently able to just throw away without much thought. What the fuck?! 

    Post # 67
    Member
    1573 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: City, State

    Bee, there has been no miscommunication. He understood you clearly. He just kept the relationship going until it came time to do what he said he would. Take this goodbye as a gift and a lesson… You do not need to explain yourself 3589 times to someone who is listening.

    Post # 68
    Member
    648 posts
    Busy bee

    So sorry for you, Bee. Find someone who will make the effort to make your dreams a reality — and propose to them! 

    Post # 70
    Member
    5715 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Date generous men from now on, they do exist. Want more for yourself. Broke men need not apply. Ain’t Nothin Goin On But the Rent was my theme song in my youth. I’m sorry, and I know you’re upset, but this guy is a jerk and a cheap tightwad. You don’t want to be tied to someone like that for life.

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