(Closed) Am I being too much? (long, sorry)

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: What should I do?
    Let your MOH plan the b-rette (pool party) : (0 votes)
    Fight for what you want : (11 votes)
    65 %
    Let the BM's and MOH battle it out : (6 votes)
    35 %
  • Post # 3
    3126 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2017

    Its your wedding, you should do what you want. However, I can see where your Maid/Matron of Honor is coming from. I think it would be difficult for me to leave my child for a weekend away as well (I don’t even like leaving my puppy) even though I know other people do it all the time. Different strokes for different folks.

    Could you suggest other things other than a pool party for your bachelorette that are still in town so your Maid/Matron of Honor can participate? Could you do something as a group in your hometown to kick it off with Maid/Matron of Honor and then go out of town with the rest of your friends for the rest of the weekend? Thats what I would do since I tend to be a peacemaker.


    Post # 4
    658 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I’m sorry you are in this situation. I would try to explain to Maid/Matron of Honor about your mom, Future Mother-In-Law and aunt wanting to come, and that they aren’t comfortable with a pool party. And remind her that the baby is a welcome addition to the festivities. Maye she’ll come around. Good Luck!

    Post # 5
    541 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Can’t you do both? I would have the pool party that Maid/Matron of Honor is planning, but also explore doing a weekend away with the rest of the bridal party. I would definitely give Maid/Matron of Honor a head’s up first and find out her feelings though. Tell her you appreciate what she has planned and understand that she has other responsibilities as well, but you and the rest of the girls would also like to go away and you don’t want her to be upset or think that what she planned wasn’t good enough.

    Post # 6
    3166 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    well if everyone else (including you) wants to have a weekend away, then do it! simple as that. when she’s like “i’m sorry i can’t give you the same type of weekend you gave me, blah blah blah..” then tell her “that’s totally okay, Bridesmaid or Best Man1, BM2 & Bridesmaid or Best Man3 came up with a great idea – we’re going to go to gvlkkjskfjglsfdlkgjsf GUSH GUSH GUSH! SO EXCITED!!!” if she sees how excited you are about it, she should acquiesce. if not, well… it’s not about her anyways. 

    Post # 7
    5295 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: January 1993

    I too, would let the BM’s take over and try to involved the Maid/Matron of Honor in some way. Would it be possible to have the weekend away and have activities on one of the days allow for the Maid/Matron of Honor just to come up for the day and be with all of you? I have no idea how far that would involve her traveling? I’m sure the older females (your mom, aunt, FMIL), would be happy to play with the baby during the day.

    The other thing would be to go ahead and have the pool party, and then do the weekend away as well. I don’t think the Maid/Matron of Honor should expect you to give up what you wanted to do just because she has a baby – that shouldn’t alter your life. Allowances can certainly be made, but you should still get to have the party you wanted – since you did the same for her 🙂

    Post # 8
    10851 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I would ask your BMs to plan the bachelorette, but maybe start the weekend with dinner or whatever in town so Maid/Matron of Honor can do some of it, and then the rest of you continue on with the weekend. Best of both worlds, no one gets left out.

    Post # 9
    1626 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    The way your wording this to me it doesn’t seem like you are upset that she won’t leve the baby but irritated that she won’t let anyone help her and that she gets upset when people try. Maybe just explain to her that the BMs aren’t trying to shove her out or take her place but they are trying to help with some of the burden since she has the baby to care for. Maybe let her plan something for a Friday during the day and you and the other girls go out for the weekend after her party. Just let her know that you still want her there for you on your day and that you appreciate all she can do and just that the BMs want to help her since she has a lot to worry about right now but they aren’t trying to take her place.

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