(Closed) am i being too sensitive

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 16
Member
2480 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Well some of her expectations don’t seem too unreasonable.

It’s easier for everyone, including you, to have your hair and make-up done at the hotel by the same hair and MUA rather than have one Bridesmaid or Best Man missing and no idea how she’s going to look when she turns up. Also, she does need everyone at the hotel from fairly early onwards because it can take a lot longer than might be imagined to get everyone ready.

As for setting up, this may be unpractical but it really isn’t unusual to ask for help with breakdown. As a pp said, the more people around to help means the job gets done quickly. 

So yes, I think you are being a tad oversensitive and rather stubborn too. But yes, some of her ideas may be a little unrealistic. If you are prepared to compromise then perhaps she will too. Right now you seem to have an awkward stand off.

Post # 18
Member
2480 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Did she actually SAY that she wished she hadn’t asked you to be in the wedding? Only it might be that she means that she wished she’d asked her other friend to be a bridesmaid earlier in the planning process. In other words, she’s not rejecting YOU, merely wishing she’d involved her other friend earlier.

Post # 19
Member
371 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

jen 42713:  In your initial posting, I didn’t get the impression that that she had “basically said that she wished she hadn’t asked” you to be in the wedding.  She invited another girl to be a part of the party.  I don’t think that has any reflection on you and whether she regrets asking you.  Maybe I am missing something?

Post # 21
Member
6238 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

jen 42713:  I think you’re definitely being too sensitive. She for sure means that she wishes she hadn’t excluded the other girl, not that she didn’t include you. It’s not like there were a specific number of spots! She was on the fence with the other girl- you should be happy that wasn’t you! If anyone should be offended, it’s the friend.

Post # 23
Member
1772 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

jen 42713:  she said she should’ve asked the other girl in the first place instead.  I read that to mean that to be saying that she should’ve asked her earlier instead of asking her late in the game.  Seems like you’re assuming that the bride said to your face that she should’ve asked this girl to be a bridesmaid instead of you?  I doubt she was saying that to you- that’d be really weird.  

For some of these things, it’s much easier just to go along or do your compromise version w/o arguing- either let her pros do your hair/makeup or have yours do it then just show up early & help set up.  Or if you don’t want to show up that early, it’s much easier to show up a bit later on the day of than to argue about it forever beforehand.

Post # 25
Member
1772 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

jen 42713:  ahhh, so she’s a passive aggressive bride.  just be careful.  if she gives you a choice of 2 things, it’s always fine to choose the one you prefer.  just ignore the smack talking afterwards.  but, yeah, I’d not be feeling the love either if she was doing that to me.  if you can edit your earlier posts, it might help you to get more relevant feedback.

Post # 26
Member
1219 posts
Bumble bee

 

jen 42713:  Sorry you are feeling this way.  I just think its funny on here when a bride says her bmaids won’t do anything, everyone says they aren’t required to.  Now you are saying the bride wants stuff, and everyone says her requests are completely acceptable.  Go figure. 

Post # 27
Member
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

jen 42713:  Maid/Matron of Honor here, seeing it from the other side…

Your bride should not be making requests about her own bach party.  Why does she think she gets to decide what you do for her?  I don’t get it.  Just like you don’t get to tell her what you want for a bridesmaid’s gift.

Hair and makeup-if she is requiring it to be professionally done, why don’t you use her stylist?  Then she can pay for it.  That cost shouldn’t be on you.

And yes, no reason to stay at the hotel, unless she wants to pay for you..

 

 

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