(Closed) Am i being unreasonable?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Oof, this is tough.  However difficult finances might be, when you asked you Bridesmaid or Best Man and Flower Girl to be a part of your big day, they could have declined.  It’s frustrating to hear how flexible you have been to their needs, and yet they seem to be forgetting that this is for you!  Is there another friend or family member who can speak to the Bridesmaid or Best Man on your behalf?  Since time is not something you have too much of, it’s important you continue to move forward while not leaving your Bridesmaid or Best Man and Girlfriend behind.  Ask someone you REALLY trust to get to the bottom of everything in a way that won’t seem intrusive and agressive to the Bridesmaid or Best Man.  Goodluck!

Post # 4
Member
5 posts
Newbee

Opinion from a bridesmaid many times over, never a bride:

There were things I was not happy with that my brides have choosen for me to do as a bridesmaid, but never did I think of bailing out on any of them.  You might want to re-evlauate that relationship. 

Also I think communications is REALLY key to keeping the bridal party/parents all in harmony.  My brother got married this past year to someone who we have grown to love over the many years, but boy did we see another side of her once my brother put a ring on it.  I won’t go as far as to call her a bridezilla, but as she said it herself “she was driving the bus” (but couldn’t afford the gas to make it go:)  Communication was very limited and really down to texts messages and a few emails.  Very little appriecation was shown.  And a big issue that was never really address properly, looking back on it, was that our family swings towards the traditional wedding equitte (showers, bachelorrette party, dinner rehearsals all *offered* to her) but she was all about micro-managing everyone.  I really felt like it walked a fine line of insulting us, like she didn’t trust the people most important to her, who she picked to be in the wedding, to give her beautiful pre-wedding parties.  I guess that is the norm these days, with the ‘I deserve everything right now and the way I want it’ attitude our society has.

I know you feel like you have put forth the effort, but the fact that all three of them want to bail out makes me think it’s more then just a fg dress.  If you want to savalages this I would start out expressing to them how important they are and acknowledging how it’s rough finacial times and you can understand the stress of the expense with three family members being in your wedding, but that your friendship is most important.  Make them feel validated and remind them of why you have choosen them to be part of your special day and then try to start over with the task as hand.

 

 

Post # 5
Member
218 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Springbreakbride: Omg….. please do not feel bad! This is completely uncalled for and so unfair to you!! You have been so much nicer and flexiable with them then most would ahve been. They truely do not want to be a apart of your wedding party and they are looking for an excuse to bail out but make it look like your fault not theirs so they can justify backing out. Sorry but that’s seriously what’s going on. You are NOT being a bridezilla at all! Evaluate this friendship and let it go because you aren’t in the wrong here! I;m sorry your wedding is so close and you are going through this. Stand your ground your real friends and family that love you will be there and support you!

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