(Closed) Am I being unreasonable?

posted 5 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
371 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@fiver:  I don’t know, I wouldn’t like that at all either. Have you talked to him about it? Is there anyone else that could go instead of him?

Post # 4
5956 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@fiver:  You’re pregnant, I get that, but work is work…and if he has to go, he has to go.  Instead of looking at this scenario in black and white, why not set it up for everyone up to succeed?

Odds are good that NOTHING, is going to go wrong during that week and you and your baby will be fine.  If an emergency should arise, he can be on a flight home without any problems.

If the car is an issue, see if there’s someone, friend or family that would lend an SUV to you while he’s away, or if not, even renting one for the week wouldn’t be too bad if it really made you feel better about it.

If being alone is an issue, see if a friend or family member would be willing to come adventure sleep at your house and keep you company while he’s gone.

If this was a guy’s weekend at the hunting lodge or something equally extra-curricular, I could see you protesting his absence, but when it comes to work and obligations of a professional nature, you cannot expect him to choose between the family he’s creating, and the career that supports it.

Post # 6
1342 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@fiver:  I get where you’re coming from.  ANd I don’t feel like you’re saying don’t go, just want acknowlegement that you’ll be going through something too while he’s gone.

Where in Minnesota are you?  My sister (also a pharmacist) has 4WD and lives in Minneapolis if you need a lift anywhere while he’s gone.  🙂

Post # 7
1021 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

At 7.5 months I would think you would be fine at home by yourself, as chances of going into labor at that point are pretty small. Do you have family or friends nearby that would be able to take you to the hospital in the small chance you would need to go? Now, if something comes up between now and then – you get put on bedrest, develop signs of pre-e, hypertension, those types of things – I would definitely ask him to stay home.

Then again, I was pretty emotionally needy at the end of my pregnancy and would have missed Darling Husband miserably. So, if he has the option of not going and it wouldn’t look bad/have any work implications then I think asking him to stay isn’t a big deal. If it would impact his work, though, then I wouldn’t ask him to stay.

Post # 8
12247 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@fiver:  I’m just shy of 7.5 months pregnant (29 weeks), and I feel totally comfortable with Darling Husband going on work trips (he was just on one this past week!)

I’d let him go. Is there anyone you want to visit/have someone visit you?

When Darling Husband goes away on business, I like to make plans to travel, too! My last chance to see people before the baby!

Post # 9
7337 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

I think you’re being unreasonable.  It’s not like your husband wants to go running off for some crazy boys’ trip to Vegas. It’s a work trip, it’s just a week, and you’ve got plenty of time to plan for whatever you need to make that week easier on you. And even if it’s the kind of work trip he could easily get out of, sometimes the work trips end up being very important in terms of networking and team building so if it’s some dull conference or what-not, it really might not be best to pressure him to skip it. 

You can order groceries to be delivered if there’s a service in your town that does that; pre-make and freeze your meals if you don’t feel like cooking a big to-do for just one; arrange some social activities if you’re afraid you might get lonely; you can even speak with your doctor about suggested arrangements should you go into early labor AND there’s a blizzard. Heck, you can even rent a massive SUV from your local Avis (really cheap if you book in advance) just in case it snows a ton.  


Women were having babies outside in the snow for thousands of years before our current society began forming; you’re going to be just fine all toasty in your home for a week!


Post # 11
1860 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@fiver:  I live in MN and if I try to put myself in your situation, I don’t think I’d be pissed/annoyed with Darling Husband about going to Texas for work while I was 7.5 months pregnant… That being said, I do have some family nearby and lots of good friends that live close, so I wouldn’t have a problem with it. So yeah, I kind of do think you’re overreacting. 

However, if I didn’t have anybody that I was “close with” nearby, maybe I’d be singing a different tune – and take it with a grain of salt because I’m not pregnant, and don’t know what it’s like… So I guess I’m not much help!  Sorry you’re feeling bummed..

Post # 12
2083 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I get the frustration but maybe don’t get too upset at him about it so long as he is sensitive about the fact that you are nervous. Sometimes work is just work and it may be more trouble for him to refuse to go for the week than it is worth. My husband is in his last year of med school, so I deal with him being gone for a month at a time working in different hospitals sometimes. Next month is our second trimester and he is working across the state for the entire month so it will be tricky and I wish it wasn’t the case, but you just have to tell yourself you are strong enough to hang in there.

Post # 14
9671 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’m 21 weeks but right now, no I wouldn’t be bothered if he had to go out of town for work.  I’m having a completely normal, uncomplicated pregnancy so far and feel good so I don’t think I’d mind for a week.  I think chances are pretty small of you going into labor 6 weeks early.

Do you know anyone nearby at all?  I’d think surely there is someone (friend, his friend, work friend, etc) who maybe you could talk to and let them know the husband will be gone that week and ask if it’d be okay to call them if you need help?

Post # 15
3150 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

@fiver:  for work? At 7 1/2 mo? I say let it go. He’s not going to Vegas for a bachelor party or anything. 

Post # 16
7649 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@fiver:  I know it’s hard because you’re emotional and a first time mommy, but saying he didn’t take your feelings into consideration is being a bit harsh. He didn’t consider them because its a very high chance you won’t give birth or have an issue and becuase it is for work. If it was a boys weekend I’d be like “Ehh….not so sure” but work? Not much you can do. He needs to make money, and he can’t just tell them no…

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