(Closed) Am I being unreasonable about # of bachelor party days?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
240 posts
Helper bee

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable, exactly, but I guess it depends on what his itinerary is. Is he having to travel out of town for his bachelor party? I understand your being upset about feeling like he’s leaving you to clean up the mess less than a week before the big day, but I also understand him wanting to celebrate a tradition with his friends.

I don’t know. It’s a tough call. If I were in your situation, I’d probably just let him go but explain that he could possibly have a ton of work to do on Sunday/Monday.

Post # 5
Member
2281 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I honestly think 3 is pretty ridiculous. Even hard partiers are usually worn out by the third night, anyway. It always sounds like a great idea to have a 3 night party, but the first night is wild, the second night is kind of wild, and most guys end up falling asleep at elementary-school-kid-time on the third night. 

Post # 6
Member
5800 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

Darling Husband and I both had 3 night outings so I don’t find that odd but I think bachelor/bachelorette parties the weekend before are a bad idea. Give the bruises/hangovers some time to get better. I like your compromise of seeing where you are Wednesday and deciding then if he should go early or not.

Post # 8
Member
8727 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Maybe he wants to spend the day with his best man- kind of like a friendship thing more than a bachelo party thing.

If you are worried about things not geting done why not plan for that evebnt now and enlist his help so that most of the things are completed the weekend before the bachelor party? I mean wouldn;t you feel even more reassured if the things were done early?

Post # 9
Member
14658 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I dont understand what has to be done so last minute the week before the wedding.  There’s so much time between now and then that I dont see why it would be so hectic that week.  I didn’t feel any stress at all in the weeks leading up to the wedding, and did just about nothing wedding relaated the last two weeks except maybe writing the table numbers on the place cards.  In either case, hopefully it wont be that bad, but maybe he can agree to do some tasks that you need him to do the week or weekend before he goes so he doesnt have to worry and wait till wednesday to see when he and/or his friends are trying to plan something

 

Post # 10
Member
1979 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I do not think you are being unreasonable.  I would never allow Fiance to have a Bachelor party the weekend of the wedding – there are just too many last minute things to do!! It is OUR wedding, not MY wedding and weddings are stressful enough as it is without having to do everything on your own.  Do you have any bridesmaids who would be willing and able to help out that weekend?  Or just have a spa day with the girls to relax? IMO, I think you are being more than fair by giving him 2 nights and waiting til Wednesday to make any other decisions.

Post # 12
Member
5800 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

@coffeegal85:  What is there to plan? Buy beer and hang out. There I planned it for you.

 

@pinkshoes:  Same. I wasn’t busy at all the week before, maybe like 2 days out because I was working on escort cards and wrapping gifts.

Post # 13
Member
194 posts
Blushing bee

Wow, more than one night of partying? Hmm.. I thought that one would be reasonable enough, haha. But knowing my boyfriend, a bachelor party for him would be inviting the guys over for a game night, hahaha. And nope, not poker. Just straight up computer games, lol. He builds games in his spare time when he isn’t Air Forcing it, lol.

Post # 14
Member
14658 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@coffeegal85:  lol, yeah, I’d never planned one before mine either. It was funny cause my SIL kept telling me how much last minute stuff there would be and all cause she was married and I just blew it off.  She’s like oook, wait and see.. but.. yeah, nothing.  Even without the B list responses, pretty much the rest of the seating chart should be set right?  And then you can probably have a general idea of who to put with who and how many extra table you might need so its not a last minute scramble and shouldnt take long to add in.  I’m not sure what else would have to be done that week before that cant be done earlier though if not related to rsvps, so I still dont understand why he cant just take care of it sooner or if it would take too long to do after he gets back the week of the wedding.  Assuming you’re ok with the number of days gone, just not the timing of it, I just feel that you guys could come to an agreement that would allow him to go if he wanted to and not have to feel held back that extra day cause of something he could have done before or after.

Post # 15
Member
2031 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Darling Husband1 had 3 separate bachelor events the weekend before our wedding, all local…but it was how it worked out.  One was a golf outting, then a poker night, and then a full day at the track.  There was some last minute stuff to do, but most of it was my stuff (dresses, etc) and other things that was easier to just get done rather than have 2 people do.  Chances are most of what he’ll be doing that weekend will be done, or won’t suffer from an extra day for traveling.  There’s still a month to get it done 🙂

Post # 16
Member
637 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I am on the same boat as you, except Fiance is taking 5 days off the weekend before the wedding.  SOOOOO…if he does leave me with a BUNCH of stuff to do because he is not there to help, he won’t hear the end of this. 

He’s been thinking about this for over a year and I know if I argue anything about this trip, he won’t listen.  So fingers crossed either there is nothing left to do the last weekend or he will finish them before he goes…

SIGH…girls just has sooo much to prep before the wedding and guys just usually show up on the day, so unfair…:P

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