- 5 years ago
- Wedding: April 2014
Hi everyone, I’d love some advice and it seems that weddingbee is the best place to get it. 🙂
Apologies if this is long but here goes…
I’ve been engaged for two years now and my fiance hadn’t spoken about the wedding until recently as apparently its too ‘stressful’ to discuss, however he did tell me to go ahead and start planning some things I’d like, which was fine by me.
We both agreed we wanted a small wedding, as we are not party fans. A few years ago we spent most of my Uncle’s wedding reception in our hotel room watching tv!
He said he didn’t want an expensive wedding. I’ll be honest here – we have savings and make a very good amount per month, but he sees the wedding as a waste. That upset me a little, however, as he will be contributing more than me, I decided it doesn’t matter, especially as a small wedding doesn’t cost too much anyway.
But here’s the problem, we seem to have different ideas of what ‘expensive’ is. We have finally started to discuss the ideas I’d come up with and he was not happy. I had priced up a small wedding for 10 people at a nearby venue which I thought was great value. I had downgraded most items on the list, even the dress, which was upsetting as I’ve always imagined my ‘dream dress’, but nevermind.
In total, the entire wedding, down to every last detail, INCLUDING a two week honeymoon came to £6942/$11,161. Am I stupid to think that’s reasonable? Compared to what friends and family of mine have spent on their weddings, its amazingly good value, and the fact it includes the honeymoon is brilliant.
To give some perspective – we would not go into debt over this. We would not even have to touch our monthly earnings. This wedding could be paid for using savings and there would still be a lot left over in the account. We already have a house, both own our cars with no payments, our bills get paid from what we earn in the month through our business, and we are not planning to start a family for another 3 or 4 years.
Am I being really unreasonable or is it normal that I’m a little sad over this?
Either way, he says its too much. Maybe I’m being selfish, but I don’t understand why he thinks spending money on a wedding is such a waste. Is it a waste? Do any of you regret having a wedding? If so please let me know, it might make me feel better. 🙂
So back to the point of this post – where can I cut corners?
Here’s what I have so far:
I have already downgraded the dress from the one I wanted. It is in the cheapest ‘price band’ in the store. Its beautiful, and I don’t want to have to downgrade from this one too.
I have decided not to have a photographer. As its such a small wedding, cameras can be passed around for some informal shots. Even if I wasn’t cutting down, I probably still wouldn’t want one as the idea creeps me out, so fine by me.
I’m already doing my own makeup. I was going to purchase new items but what I have is fine.
I’m going to buy a pre-iced cake and decorate it myself.
I’ll find cheaper wedding rings.
I could do without a bridesmaid as I haven’t actually asked her yet. (In the UK the Bride usually pays for the Bridesmaid or Best Man dress etc).
Maybe making invitations?
He also wants to get rid of the venue idea and go to a registry office, and then some kind of lunch after. This one makes me sad. Our local registry is not exactly the prettiest or most exciting venue, but I guess we’ll see. One thing I loved about the other venue was that the ceremony, drinks and dinner were all in one beautiful building – no travelling or expecting guests to travel.
We may end up not even be able to book the venue anyway, as he wants to get married this winter, yet won’t let me book anything. I’ve tried to explain to him how far in advance people usually book, but he won’t listen and says its ridiculous to book that far ahead. ARGHHHH! So frustrating.
Any other ideas that might help would be appreciated! What are your money saving tips?
I’m honestly scared I’ll get it down to the very minimum and he will still say its too much of a ‘waste’. 🙁