Am I being unreasonable? Cousin ripped off my engagement video for his own

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
6871 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Yeah, you should go with “feel flattered.”   Your now-fiance did put a lot of time and effort into making the video for you, but to be honest, “will you marry me” type videos are all over youtube, they are not exactly a new and innovative concept any more, and there are only so many techniques you can use when making a video like that.   Plus, it’s not even your work– your fiance did all the work. It would still be unreasonable of him to be annoyed that his work had been imitated, but it’s even more off-the-wall for you since you didn’t do any of the actual work.

It’s totally normal for people in the same stage of life and in the same social circles to influence each other, and to have very similar ideas even without talking to each other or seeing what the other one is doing. With all the engagements going on in your social circle/extended family, I think you should prepare yourself for lots of opportunities for similar ideas to pop up.  You may find that another bride has chosen a similar color scheme or similar dress (or even exactly the same).  99% of the time, it’s not because the other person is going out of their way to copy you– it’s either because they see a good idea that inspires them, or because you all just have very similar styles.

Post # 3
14022 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.  I’d just leave it at that.  Personally, I dont think I’d be peeved cause I couldn’t care less how anyone else was proposed to, what/where/how/videos/props, whatever.   As selffish as it sounds, the only proposal that matters to me is mine.

Post # 4
2972 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

Their proposal video has nothing to do with you. 

Post # 5
4296 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

OMG I LOVE YOUR VIDEO!  And I understand your frustration, but think about how the other girl feels…. her fiance stole your fiance’s idea because he couldn’t think of anything better… she pretty much got your engagement.

Feel flattered that your FI is so awesome that other people want to be like him 😉

Post # 6
2460 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Lol, you just wanted to show off your video. Enjoy your proposal. Congrats!

Post # 7
2264 posts
Buzzing bee

I bet if you tried really hard, you could find something more worthy in your life to be pissed off about. Because wasting energy on this seems a bit…yeah. 

Post # 9
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I didn’t read everybodies responses yet but I wanted to let you know that I’m glad I’m not the only person that feels that way!

My husband is a twin and it really feels like everything we do, they do a few weeks later. Yes- I know that twins have strong bonds and they do think a lot alike at times but most of these were my ideas, not my husbands. My husband really doesn’t care about the wedding in terms of planning it so he just tells me what he prefers when I give him options.

We originally decided on a destination wedding in Spring but a couple months after, we decided we could not ask for our family to put that kind of money out for flights, hotels, etc. So we agreed that it would be best to just do one closer to home. A few months later- they got engaged and now they are planning a wedding at the same place we originally wanted and in the same month… actually- down to the same week! They are also planning a reception here in town at the same restaurant that my husband and I were originally looking at to do ours. I mean… seriously… come on! Totally stealing our ideas, right?

But honestly… I can’t be mad or upset. I’m not even flattered bc I kind of feel they are just trying to “one up” us and throw it in our faces that we can’t have our “dream wedding” (which honestly, my dream wedding is just one where all my family and friends could attend and the destination wedding wouldn’t allow us that)…

When my MIL called them out on the similarities (not upon my request… I didn’t know she was doing that) their response was “well, we are twins and we think a like”… umm… no, sir. That whole thing was MY idea- and I am certainly NOT your twin! LOL.

Anyways- I can’t be mad/upset because they have a right to do whatever kind of wedding whereever they want to have it. It’s none of my business and it’s completely their choice.  It is annoying though because the wedding thing isn’t the only time they’ve used our ideas but it’s whatever. Some people just can’t be original and I’m happy I could help them with ideas.

I hope that makes you feel a little better in the sense that you’re not alone! =o)

But I do agree with the others… it honestly is a waste of energy to think about petty things like that. Think about it once and then let it go!

Post # 10
5275 posts
Bee Keeper

pinkshoes:  “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.  I’d just leave it at that.  Personally, I dont think I’d be peeved cause I couldn’t care less how anyone else was proposed to, what/where/how/videos/props, whatever.   As selffish as it sounds, the only proposal that matters to me is mine.”<br /><br />

Selfish? No. 100% right on? Yes!

Post # 11
927 posts
Busy bee

cvaldes13:  First, your video is amazing and I may or may not still be crying from watching it.  Second, I would be peeved too.  I think you just have to take it as a compliment.  

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