(Closed) Am I being “unsupportive”?

posted 6 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
2790 posts
Sugar bee

Um why do you even still have the dog if it bit your son?

Also, if that money is needed for your wedding and to keep your savings from being depleted then no you are not an unsupportive wife you are a smart wife. I think your hubby needs to realize that right now you have other more important things to pay for so if he has to spend Christmas with your immediate family instead then he should be ok with that.

Post # 4
Member
2657 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Man, this has been something my Fiance and I have been working on. We want to go on trips but dont really, should not really use the money. It sucks to say no, but you know, your Fiance really needs to see that if your savings keep on dwindling, pretty soon you wont have anything saved up.

My thinking is, just because you have money saved doesnt mean you should spend it. Especially on a trip , while he DOESNT have a job!!!! Money goes soo fast!!!

I hope you two can come up with an agreement.

Post # 5
Member
357 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I second the dog thing. My dog bit my son in the face, she was gone that day. FYI, my vet said it was very dangerous for a dogs first time bite to a child to be on the face, usually it’s hands first and if it’s face that shows a lot of aggression and it will happen again.

I don’t think your selfish at all, I think he is being selfish. Cant you compromise, maybe go for a different holiday after he finds a job? 4th of July?

 

 

Post # 6
Member
1941 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I agree with everything @MsBrooklynA: said, especially wondering why you still have a dog that bit your son’s face?

Post # 7
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I know the dog usually is the first to blame, but sometimes its the humans which provoke certain reactions, at times unknowningly.

 

Post # 8
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Yeah, I’m hung up the dog bite thing too. No way in hell my child would be around a dog who attacked her face.

And no, you don’t sound unsupportive regarding the savings, you sound practical. Sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to do immediately to keep long term plans on track.

Post # 9
Member
2607 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

@Angelz_love: My son wont get an x mas present this year from us cause we’d be using the budgeted left over $ for this trip

Not fair to your son!  

I’d spend a total of 24 hours driving with his dog who bit my son in his face last week.

Not fair to your son, either!  ALL three of you need to stay home.  Spend your money on getting a behaviorist for the dog instead, if you insist on keeping her.  

Post # 10
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@Eva Peron: I don’t care if the dog was provoked, if it bites my child in the face, it’s gone.

Post # 11
Member
14496 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Wait, so he wants to spend money on a trip when the children will not get christmas gifts?  Um, not getting that at all.  The dog biting your sons face, now I am unsure of the circumstances of this but I would have had the dog gone, especially it wouldn’t be on a long car trip with us.  *shakes head*  not getting this whole situation.

Post # 12
Member
357 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@Eva Peron:When my son starting crawling my dog started showing aggression towards him, little growls…I hired a dog trainer to come work with my dog and it didn’t help her aggression. I saw her bite my son, he was standing by her, not even touching her and she bit him in the face, 1/4 quarter of an inch away from his eye. I love my dogs, but they are dogs, you should never trust an animal 100%

Post # 13
Member
2607 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

@Eva Peron: I know the dog usually is the first to blame, but sometimes its the humans which provoke certain reactions, at times unknowningly.

Agreed.  I would definitely seperate them immediately, (as in NO contact), and have the dog thoroughly vetted and if no medical problem was found, checked out by a behaviorist.  I read a story once about a normally gentle dog that bit a child…turns out the child had shoved a pencil INTO the dog’s ear drum.  Yeah, I’d probably bite the kid, too.  This is exactly why kids and pets should NOT be left together unsupervised.  

Driving 24 hours with a kid and a dog in the back seat (stressful for both kid AND dog) is asking for trouble, or worse, tragedy. (ETA: this should say driving 24 hours with a kid and a dog who has already bitten said kid…the same situation with a different kid and different dog may be perfectly safe)

Post # 14
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Amy43026: Sounds like he was insecure and perhaps protective of you or another family member? Very few dogs are actually ” agressive”, they may exhibit reactions that appear agressive to us , but you would know, and probably not survive well with a truly agressive dog. Not to turn it into a dog training thread, but it takes a lot of consistency and work on the humans part to deal with these types of behaivor. I’m sure you did what was best for your family and I’m glad you tried to work it ou!

Post # 15
Member
14402 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think only you know you financial situation well enough to know if its really unaffordable or not.  From the sounds of it, if you still owe 10k on the wedding, since that’s unneccesary debt (unlike car/house/school), then I’d say no, you shouldnt go on the trip.  It depends on what you have saved and what your current financial plans are though.  I know it sucks to see a shrinking savings account, but if you have a payment plan for the wedding, and he is working now, maybe the trip is doable and the savings account can still be replenished soon.  If you’re not comfortable with it though, just talk to him about it.  Put some numbers in front of him for today, and a few months out and see if you two can come to an agreement.  Show him why even though you have xxx amount, and it looks like you can easily afford the trip, that it’s not the best decision.

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