(Closed) Am I Bridezilla???? SERIOUSLY? long-sorry

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

Um… I’m with you. I mean I get that his wife is having major surgery… but if it is truly ELECTIVE why can’t she just skip it and get it done in a few months? I’m so sorry 🙁 

Post # 4
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

You’re not a bridezilla, you’re not out of line–I’d be BEYOND hurt.  I don’t know what to say, except that I’m so so sorry.  Lots and lots of (((((HUGS)))))

Post # 5
Member
1084 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Wow, have you told him how hurt you are?  You’re not out of line, of course you’re going to be hurt if your dad isn’t there.

Post # 6
Member
1482 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Oh, I am so sorry 🙁  How far away is the place where his wife is having surgery?  If it’s not too far, can he at least come be with you for the ceremony and dinner maybe?  I just can’t imagine why a surgery that is elective had to be scheduled for that date, or why his wife wouldn’t want him to come be with his daughter.  Would it get you anywhere to talk to his wife?

Post # 7
Member
2463 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

i would be upset too. that’s kind of absurd that they’d schedule the surgery for the same day as your wedding. if it’s not medically urgent, it should be able to be rescheduled, and if the doctor won’t, then with a new doctor or something.

Post # 8
Member
2703 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

YOU ARE NOT A BRIDEZILLA.

i am appalled that your father, after not being there throughout your growing up; has the nerve to get your hopes up… and let you down yet again.

like you said this is your WEDDING DAY.

i am in disbelief over fathers who don’t play their respective roles in their children’s lives (young or grown, he’s still your dad!)

**HUGS*

Post # 9
Member
256 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

First of all ((hugs))! I do not think you are at all out of line for being upset. I would be devastated if my father didn’t walk me down the aisle regardless of my relationship with him and if we were close or not.

If there are no other circumstances other than what you’ve told us than I don’t think there is any excuse for him not to be there. They knew about the wedding in advance and shouldn’t have ever agreed to a surgery on that day. She can certainly move it and if not with her doctor than she should go to someone else. She has someone that can stay with her so even if your dad can’t stay for the entire thing, he can at least do the ceremony and the father-daughter dance! Do you have problems with your step-mom that would cause them to act this way and choose her surgery over your wedding? If he was that excited, I wonder if there isn’t something else causing him to cancel?

I would certainly let your father know how upset you are with him and that this may or will have consequences on your relationship (if you think it will or want it to somehow affect it).

I really hope it all works out for you. ((((((((((((((MORE HUGS)))))))))))))))))

Post # 10
Member
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

wow! im soooo sorry that he did this to you!! you are not out of line. you have every right to be upset and pissed. you’re doing much better than i would have. id have already had a few choice words for her deciding to schedule an elective surgery at that time.

Post # 11
Member
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Ouch.  Yeah, I’d be all sorts of upset.  It’s NOT you.  You’re NOT out of line, but he certainly is.  You might want to write him a letter outlining exactly why he is out of line. 

Post # 12
Member
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Whoa, I’d be upset too.  I probably would of tweaked on him the first chance I got.  I advise against doing that kinda thing, but that is a major blow.  I can’t imagine what he’s thinking.  And is it even possible for a doctor to not let someone rescehdule a surgery?  That doesn’t make sense to me. 

Anyway, I’d calm down (as much as is possible) and talk to him again.  And I’d tell him how it sounds from your perspective.  I haven’t had a father in my life, so its easy for me to say he doesn’t deserve a close relationship with you.  But really, if he’s willing to miss one of the biggest days in your life, he might not be capable of the father daughter relationship you deserve. 

Post # 13
Member
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

You have every right to be upset by this.
Can’t believe his wife can’t rely on her son for a few hours, the time your dad does what dads do and be there for their daughter’s wedding…
I am upset for you! Sorry you’re going through this…

Post # 14
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

I’m so sorry.  That is hurtful. 

I’m glad, however, you have a loving brother. I’m sure you’re fortunate to have him in your life, since your father really wasn’t.

Post # 15
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

not a bridezilla at all!!!! What is with his wife scheduling it for that day? As if she didn’t know the date of the wedding? Ridiculous! I would call her Dr myself because I would be so pissed. I am so sorry about this going on, I hope it all works out

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