Post # 1
Member
448 posts
Helper bee
Hey Bees! Looking for your input since the bees seem to know a lot about etiquette, and I’ve definitely learned a thing or two from other other posts…
Our baby shower is coming up, and it’s going to be pretty big- close to 100 people, and co-ed/kid-friendly. Because there’s going to be SO many people, and some of the people coming have already shipped gifts directly to our house, DH and I decided to just skip opening presents in front of everyone. My parents (the hosts) said no problem, whatever you want. However, my grandma and Mother-In-Law are really surprised and disappointed that we won’t be opening presents. My grandma wants us to open her gifts at some point during the party just with her (of course, no problem) and Mother-In-Law wants me to wrap presents from her sister that got shipped to our house, bring them to the shower, open them, and then bring them back home:/ But I digress…
Their disappointment has me worried- is it thoughtless and rude of us to not open gifts at the shower? Honestly, I thought we were doing the guests a favor, but now I see how that could be disrespectful to people who put effort into getting a gift for our baby. Is this a breech of etiquette??
Post # 2
Member
9204 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
n00bee : I’ve seen it done both ways and personally like when they skip opening presents. I tried to do that at my shower and my cousin nagged the host to get me to open (even though she didn’t at her shower!) so I did.
Your Mother-In-Law is also absurd. Asking a pregnant lady to lug gifts around for a show is stupid.
Post # 3
Member
733 posts
Busy bee
I hate this part of baby showers. So dull watching gift upon gift being opened
no I don’t think it’s a big deal you’re skipping it and you would be there all day opening gifts given the number of guests attending
Post # 4
Member
448 posts
Helper bee
LilliV : Well, her son (DH) would get the lugging duty, lol! 😉
londonchick : Yeah, I guess I just couldn’t imagine asking guests to sit and watch for that long!
Post # 5
Member
229 posts
Helper bee
I think it’s a good idea to skip gift opening for the type of party you’re describing. My friend skipped opening presents at her large baby shower, and that was the best baby shower I’ve ever been to. She had a whole room full of presents. I couldn’t imagine skipping games and socializing to watch her open all of those. She did take a moment to open a present from my grandma so I could take pics and send them to her. (G-ma and I lived a couple states away at the time.) Maybe if those people really want to watch you open them, they can come to your house the next day and hang out while you open them? It might be nice to have a few helping hands to help clean up the gift wrapping trash.
I also don’t see a purpose in bringing gifts that were mailed to you to your own party. You’re going to have enough going on that day, and I can’t imagine that the senders intended for you to go through all of that.
Post # 6
Member
3460 posts
Sugar bee
We didn’t open gifts at our couples shower and I think everyone had a great time. Especially if it’s co-ed and with children there, I’m sure many of your guests will have a much better time eating/drinking/socializing then watch you open dozens and dozens of presents.
Post # 7
Member
47430 posts
Honey Beekeeper
I would never feel comfortable with inviting people to a shower, then not opening the gifts at the shower.What will the next step be? Inviting people to just mail you a gift and not even hosting them with refreshments?
To start with showers are supposed to be for your nearest and dearest, not 100 people. I do understand that gift opening will take a long time with 100 people, but it simply goes with the territory of having a shower for that many people. I would encourage the guests to socialize while you open gifts. Those who choose to watch can do so. Those who don’t care can play a game, mix and mingle or eat and drink.
Post # 8
Member
9388 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
if someone promised me they wouldnt make me watch them open gifts, I’d attend all the baby showers.
But since I generally assume I will have to spend a significant amount of time sitting around watching them open gifts (esp. with 100 people! holy cow!) I try and skip baby showers and just send a gift and a card. Its just soooooo borrriiiiing. IDGAF if you got a blue diaper pail or a green one.. I really don’t. There are generally like 3 items ever that actually catch my attention (e.g. someone once got a friends baby a burberry onesie. wth?) the rest is all.. you know, practical baby shit that I really am glad the mom is getting.. but really aren’t interesting!
So yeah.. long story short, I’m all for you not opening them lol.
Post # 9
Member
1350 posts
Bumble bee
I would love it if all showers skipped opening gifts.
Post # 10
Member
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
I’ve been to baby showers that sound a lot like the one you are having (co-ed, kid friendly, lots of people and a hell of a lot more fun than more traditional showers I’ve been to!) and they never opened gifts at the party. That would have taken hours and been so boring for everyone.
I’m all for not opening gifts at the baby shower.
Post # 11
Member
489 posts
Helper bee
- Wedding: May 2017 - Canvas Event Space
tbh I love the opening gifts part at first, but admittedly my attention comes and goes – especially after mine is opened lol. Also, I can almost always see the exhaustion all over the pregnant person’s face pretty quickly so I would 10000000% understand if that part was skipped.
I’ve seen this suggestion a couple times in wedding groups in my area – on your gift table, you can have two spaces: one for people who really, really want you to open it there and one for opening later. I don’t know if that’s great etiquette but I think it’s a good medium for those that it’s important to and those who don’t mind.
Post # 12
Member
4017 posts
Honey bee
For the size of a shower you’re describing I would probably skip the gift opening too since it would take forever, but it does strike me a little odd to not open gifts at a shower since that’s literally the entire point. I’ve never been to any kind of shower that had more than like 30 guests though, so my opinion may be a little skewed.
Post # 13
Member
2288 posts
Buzzing bee
Opening the gifts and playing games is the worst thing about baby showers. I think holding a party just to receive presents & even then inviting 100 people is the height of rudeness.
Post # 14
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
100 people is a lotttt to have at a baby shower. Being completely honest, it does come off a little gift grabby. But to your original question, I think you should open the presents that are brought to the party at the party. I wouldn’t bring the gifts mailed to your home I think it’s reasonable that people who chose to do that wouldn’t expect you to bring the gift to the shower then back home again.
Post # 15
Member
911 posts
Busy bee
People are getting hung up on the 100 people but I’m inclined to think a good portion of that is families. Ie: John and Jane Doe with their son Joe.