(Closed) Am I crazy?

posted 9 years ago in Waiting
Post # 17
Member
30 posts
Newbee

No you’re not crazy! You know it’s going to happen, and around when it is going to happen so it’s not like you’re planning without even knowing that he feels the same way! If you’ve gotten SO’s approval to start planning then go for it 🙂 Bring him along too 🙂 Good luck!

Post # 18
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think that as long as your boyfriend is on board, and ok with it, then, why not? You know the proposal is coming, its just a matter of time at this point, right? I wouldn’t be ok with this if you were doing it behind his back, or in some way trying to use it to push him to propose, but as long as you are both on board, I see no reason to wait if you know that you want a particular venue for a particular date. Just keep the lines of communication open between the two of you – and refrain from telling everyone else in your lives!

Post # 19
Member
5109 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

View original reply
@AshleyR83: Yep normal. I think alot of girls start to plan before the actual engagement!! Happy planning!!

Post # 20
Member
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would say to wait, because you could find out after you get engaged that someone very important to you can’t make it on the date you put a deposit down on, and then you will have to choose between your deposit and your important person.   One example would be if your best friend’s sister or cousin or something is getting married the same weekend and has already committed to that.  As soon as you start telling people you are engaged, they will ask you what the date is, and tell you if they have a prior commitment in the general timeframe.

While we started getting a general idea about venues and $$ before I had the ring on  my finger (I say “we” as my Fiance was well aware of what I was doing and I was sharing my intel with him), we didn’t put a deposit down for anything until after he “officially” proposed.  As it was, we were very excited to put a deposit down on a venue and start the wedding planning train moving as soon as we could and ended up having to shift the date a week.  We lost a venue deposit, photographer deposit and DJ deposit in the process.

Post # 21
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee

If you and SO decided on a serious timeframe and you’ve discused it with him. by all means! Book!

 

I for one like the idea of researching stuff beforehand. It took the “sticker shock” part out of the way and got me to seeing what I can afford and what I need to save…ect

 

I have a pretty good idea of what everything will cost. I think it’s smart planning. I don’t want a 2 year engagment just because we have no money for any kind of reception. I’m going to plan for saving NOW! <3

Don’t let others get you down.  There are quite a few girls who have done the very same thing as you are thinking. Not Crazy. <3

Post # 22
Member
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

Not crazy at all. I personally believe that just about any girl who says she hasn’t started making little lists of venues, songs, and dresses (even if just in her head) between the time she know the ring is coming and the time he actually asks…is lying.

I know one girl who did so much pre-planning that she had everything looked at and booked within TWO WEEKS of him asking. That girl waited harder than anyone I’ve ever seen.

Post # 23
Member
3798 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think it is a huge gamble, for a few reasons: 1. ANYTHING can happen between now and your engagement/time of year you want to get married in 2012. ANYTHING. I’m not saying you won’t get engaged or you might break up, but you never know what life is going to throw at you. 2. What if you change your mind over a venue and you already booked and put down a deposit? That is quite a bit of money to waste. 3. What if HE changes his mind and tells you he wanted it somewhere else and you already had somewhere booked?

By booking before engagement, that puts a lot of pressue on him. It creates a timeline that he might not be comfortable with, just because there is a building with your name on it for a certain date in 2012. I just think it could create some trouble down the road. However, if he is on board with it, then go for it. But if he is hesitant, then just wait.

I am not saying you are crazy. We have been engaged 6 months and I start sweating at the fact that we did not yet set a date b/c things fill up so fast (we are next month…everything is set up to put down a deposit, but we probably wont get what we want date-wise). I know things book up fast, but trust me, you will find somewhere to get married. Part of the engagement process is picking the venue together and planning. It’s good to have an idea of what you want, but just take it one step at a time. Stop looking at date calendars and panicking when you see things are filling up. Just enjoy the pre-engagement part of your relationship – it will only happen once! I promise, promise, PROMISE once you get your ring, everying will work out just as you have always dreamed.

Post # 24
Member
9026 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Only book it if he agrees that you should do so. I dont think you should book a venue without him seeing it and without him being aware that you have actually put a deposit down for a specific date.

Post # 25
Member
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

he’s getting married too so he should see the venue and decide too!

Post # 26
Member
1109 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

If he’s only waiting to be able to buy a nice ring but he’s asked you and you accepted, and he considers you two to be engaged, then go for it. A ring is a peice of metal, some couples don’t ever have engagement rings. My Fiance proposed without a ring because he had one picked out that he was saving for, we planned for about a month before he came home and surprised me with a ring. I’m glad we got things started when we did though.

If he’s just mentioning rings and stuff but doesn’t consider you his fiance yet, then look but I agree with PP’s who say to wait before you put down deposits. If you commit to a date now and end up waiting a long time before being engaged, you may find yourself scrambling to plan in less time than you had originally imagined.

 

Post # 27
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee

If you and your SO agree on it, it is not crazy. It just means you’re unofficially engaged for now (which it sounds like you are anyway) until he does his lovely proposal thing that he is clearly planning. Don’t do it behind his back though. Talk about it and decide. He should have a choice about the wedding date too and he should have a choice in the venue. The only problem or craziness would be if you forgot about him and planned it all. I doubt you will do that.

Post # 28
Member
368 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I don’t think it’s crazy.  I was in a similar situation.  My now husband had already bought the ring but it was in the process of being made (took over a month for the ring to be made!).  We were visiting my parents for the 4th of July in Savannah, GA and the wedding was going to be in Savannah, so we went ahead and booked our site, and bought my wedding dress on that trip.  I think if you want a certain site and you are a 100% sure your boyfriend will propose, go for it! 

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