(Closed) Am I crazy for not having a registry?

posted 9 years ago in Gifts and Registries
  • poll: Is a registry necessary?




  • Post # 3
    4822 posts
    Honey bee

    We had a similar situation and depending where you register (like Macys) you can return items and have them reshipped for free, or if your guests are smart they will have them sent directly to you. Thats what most of our guests did. Even for showers.

    The host of my shower spread the word to have them shipped and to print out a picture of what was purchased. For the wedding itself everyone was smart enough by then to not bring anything. Well that and we received almost all cash at the wedding.

    So really you only need a registry for your shower, unless you are not planning to have one.

    Post # 4
    7288 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I’m in a similar situation!

    I just said as nicely as I could that we are greatful for whatever our guests would like to bless us with!

    I’m trying not to purposefully ask for big gifts due to the shipping factore etc.

    Post # 5
    4619 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    @jude7186:  I’m not sure how I feel about it.  I hate the store registry because I think it’s impersonal.  But as a guest I would feel confused as to what to do if there wasn’t one.  I would probably buy you a gift of my choosing, and if there are others like me you’d still have loads of stuff to drag across the country. I would suggest writing a note explaining why you’ve chosen not to have one, in a fun and relaxed way.  I know a lot of people would also have reservations about the expectation of giving money, but if you explain why I think it’ll be okay.  Does that help?  Sorry if it doesn’t make sense.

    Post # 7
    6244 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 1900

    Fiance is asian and he actually told me not to expect anyone on his side to get anything from the registry because it’s tradition to give money for weddings.  What about the shower though?

    Post # 8
    4822 posts
    Honey bee

    View original reply
    @jude7186: If you expect cash at the wedding, why say anything? The only issue would be a shower.

    Post # 10
    1575 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Absolutely not necessary! We will not have one either. Registries irk me for some reason and I have yet to give a gift from someone’s or even look at one!

    Post # 11
    1726 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    View original reply
    @jude7186: Do nooottt put that in the invite. 

    People aren’t generally so stupid that they would give you huge giant boxed gifts at a wedding thousands of miles from your home. Telling them to basically give you money isn’t the best way to go about this either, IMO, and is not even really necessary.

    To pacify the people who think you’re “crazy” for not having a registry, have a *small* registry with a few things on it for those people, and everyone else will get the hint. I’m registering on Amazon, where most things can be shipped free. I’d recommend it. 

    Post # 12
    927 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I think it’s a good idea to have a registry, because people will be compelled to buy you something and you’ll end up with a bunch of duplicates or stuff you don’t need/want…

    Can guests order things off your registry then you can pick it up at your local store after the wedding? I think lots of bigger stores do this. Then you don’t have to cart everything home.

    Post # 13
    2154 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Yes, you are crazy. lol. Let people who want to give you money, give you money. Let people who want to buy you gifts, buy you gifts! Just have your family spread the word that you prefer that gifts be shipped to your home. Most stores have your registry available online. People can buy from your registry and have the gift shipped to your desired location. I am registering for far more than I have room for. But I do plan on having a bigger home someday, so if some of those items have to remain in a big box in the garage for a couple of years than so be it. They will go to good use in the future.

    Post # 14
    1229 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    If you don’t want to then don’t.  Some people are compelled to buy you a tangible gift. I went through it.  We have what we need.  If they want to give you something they usually will give you money.  Also frames and photo books.  But money is good, eh?

    Post # 15
    111 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    We didn’t have a registry and it was great. Some people seemed surprised/confused by a lack of a registry, but no one was upset by its absence or anything like that. We received some lovely, creative, and thoughtful gifts, as well as some monetary gifts, and it was fun opening gifts that were actually a real surprise. It did help that we mentioned to our respective mothers a few ideas – some guests went to them for advice (we said linens, wine, and books). Not a duplicate among the gifts!

    Funnily enough, OP, we are moving to CA in a few months. Guests knew that, and the majority of the gifts are small and will be easy to pack. People generally get it. The two really big things were shipped to our house and we’ll just pack like with all our current furniture, etc.

    I didn’t have a shower, though, just a luncheon (although people did bring gifts). Whatever you end up doing, I wouldn’t put a gift request up on the wedding website. A registry is one thing, but I think some people might feel odd about a suggestion like that.

    Best of luck!

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